Weird Universe Archive
June 2011
June 30, 2011
Bing Bang Boing and Gnip Gnop
Even the toys of the 1970s were drug-saturated.
Posted By: Paul - Thu Jun 30, 2011 -
Comments (2)
Category: Business, Advertising, Products, Drugs, Toys, 1970s
June 29, 2011
Chef Boyardee Recipes
Every page has the same text.
1) Open can.
2) Dump in saucepan.
3) Heat and serve.
Posted By: Paul - Wed Jun 29, 2011 -
Comments (5)
Category: Food, Cookbooks, Books
Worst Rapper Ever?
Could he possibly hail from that hotbed of bad rap, Eastern Europe? And that street-vicious name--Kidekatz? Surely it will strike fear into the heart of any rival!
Posted By: Paul - Wed Jun 29, 2011 -
Comments (2)
Category: Ineptness, Crudity, Talentlessness, Kitsch, and Bad Art, Music
June 28, 2011
That Takes A Lot Of Gull
First klepto-cat and now klepto-bird.
Posted By: Alex - Tue Jun 28, 2011 -
Comments (4)
Category:
Follies of the Mad Men #148
Avoid "sex stink" now!
Original ad here.
Posted By: Paul - Tue Jun 28, 2011 -
Comments (4)
Category: Business, Advertising, Products, Hygiene, Sexuality, 1960s
Another Smoking Death
Ten minutes to the next stop and this British train rider would have lived to die of lung cancer. The man forced open an emergency exit between cars on a commuter train, or the tube as it is called over there, and leaned out to have a smoke. Unfortunately he slipped and fell off the train which was travelling at 50MPH. The rider was then dragged under the train and decapitated. OUCH, that's gotta hurt.
Posted By: Alex - Tue Jun 28, 2011 -
Comments (4)
Category:
June 27, 2011
News of the Weird / Pro Edition (June 27, 2011)
News of the Weird/Pro EditionYou're Still Not Cynical Enough
Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
June 27, 2011
(datelines June 18-June 25) (links correct as of June 27)
The Eighth Continent, Plus Barf Bag Professional
From Yr Editor
This is the 4th of 4 consecutive relaxed-fit editions. Next Monday (which is some sort of holiday in America), I will resume taking full responsibility for your proper cynicalization.
★ ★ ★ ★!
World Tour Announced: When disaster hits the U.S., we tend to tarry in cleaning it up (e.g., government turf fighting, contractor battles, the permit process), but a lot of (most of?) the 25 million tons of debris created when the March 11th tsunami came ashore in Japan has been nicely dealt with [Take these scenes, for example] . . except for that debris that washed back out to sea. Well, thanks to the miracle of ocean currents, we who never made it to Japan can catch live performances of the debris for the next several decades, at least, and researchers have already predicted the playdates for the next 10 years, in some places featuring Tsunami Debris's joint concerts jamming with the incumbent groups, the Great Eastern Pacific Garbage Patch and the Great Western Pacific Garbage Patch. Mother Nature Network
Rationed Health Care Outrage! No Hysterectomies for Men!: Alec Esquivel is suing the health insurance provider for the Oregon state government, which denied him a hysterectomy. (Well, he's a female-to-male transgender, and his remaining useless girl parts are at risk for ovarian and uterine cancer.) The quasi-"death panel" list of benefits says hysterectomies are only for ladies. Statesman-Journal (Salem)
Recurring Theme: Luke Chrisco, 30, was arrested in Vail, Colo., for a traffic offense--and also because had been sought several days earlier in Boulder after being ID'ed as the man peering up through the hole in the portable toilet at a Boulder yoga festival. (Bonus: The Smoking Gun ran down his Facebook page, including an April entry in which he recounted spending the night in a cardboard box in a Dumpster at a construction site . . rather than the Greyhound bus station . . because the station "smelled weird.") (Double Bonus: He's also "Skye Oryan, the biggest jackass on earth," it says.) Daily Camera (Boulder) /// The Smoking Gun
Absurdities
Another brand-new, student-ready school ($105 million worth!) will have to go unopened for 2011-12 . . because California doesn't have enough money to operate it. USA Today
"Your Honor, please, I need to change my name" . . from the extremely embarrassing (might have been drunk at the time) [ed.: Everything in brackets is Yr Editor, censoring] "Mister(I) Radical [F-word] Censorship [N-word with prefix "Super"] [N-word]." "I want to change it to "David [N-word] means human [N-word with prefix "Super"]." Weekly Alibi (Albuquerque) [6-15-2011] [This was a Legal Notice and not available online. Geeks can look it up by going to http://nmcourts.gov/caselookup/, selecting Search by Case Number, and entering D 202 CV 201105486]
More in extended >>
Posted By: Chuck - Mon Jun 27, 2011 -
Comments (6)
Category:
Who’d Want Them Back?
Parkridge Medical Center in Chattanooga, TN will be covering the cost of an exhumation, a reburial and a set of dentures. It seems a patient passed away, was sent to the undertaker and consequently buried wearing the dentures of his hospital roommate. The deceased is being exhumed to remove the dentures at his family's request though, not to retrieve them for the owner.(Thank goodness!)
Posted By: Alex - Mon Jun 27, 2011 -
Comments (3)
Category:
June 26, 2011
Follies of the Mad Men #147
View top two panels left to right, then bottom two panels left to right.
Somehow, I doubt any human being on earth would ever utter this dialogue unless under threat of torture, and maybe not even then.
And I resent the implied slur at my native state, Rhode Island! Foggy Pawgansett, indeed!
Posted By: Paul - Sun Jun 26, 2011 -
Comments (3)
Category: Business, Advertising, Products, Fey, Twee, Whimsical, Naive and Sadsack, Regionalism, 1980s, Perfume and Cologne and Other Scents
June 25, 2011
Doggie DNA
DNA has finally jumped the shark. An apartment complex in Lebanon, NH Is now requiring doggie DNA samples in the leases. This is in order to catch owners who do not clean up after Fido. Samples of poop litter will be tested and the DNA checked against resident dog samples. If the DNA matches one of the resident dogs the owner of the guilty K9 will be fined according to management.
Posted By: Alex - Sat Jun 25, 2011 -
Comments (4)
Category:
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| Alex Boese Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid. Paul Di Filippo Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1. Chuck Shepherd Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre. Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott. Contact Us |
