Weird Universe Archive
August 2011
August 1, 2011
News of the Weird / Pro Edition (August 1, 2011)
News of the Weird/Pro EditionYou're Still Not Cynical Enough
Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
August 1, 2011
(datelines July 23-July 30) (links correct as of August 1)
Affirmative Action 2.0, Plus Nuts with Washers and a Non-"Skinny Mini"
★ ★ ★ ★!
McGehee, Ark. (pop. 4500), Time-Travels to the 1950s: McGehee High School calculations showed that a black girl earned valedictorian honors. However, McGehee officials, thinking on their feet to avoid what one official was caught calling a "big mess," decided that the highest-scoring white student should be elevated to "co-valedictorian." [ed.: Any time a black student is "co-" anything good with a white student in the South, the assumption is that it is the black student who got boosted. Thus, the black student here loses twice.] (Bonus: On the other hand, how can ya sympathize with the black student here, having a mother, Mrs. Wimberly, who named her daughter Kimberly?) (Double Bonus: Kimberly kicked butt, GPA-wise, even though she gave birth her junior year.) ABC News
Where Security Guards Run Free: According to this lawsuit, this Alabama shopper proved she paid for the $2.99 chicken necks, and eventually the "assistant manager" agreed, but the security guard overruled and called police and Immigration. The shopper's whole life soon fell apart. (Bonus: The shopper had video at the register to back her up--plus, she was a Walmart employee, and still . . ..) Courthouse News Service
An Inconvenient Trial: Evidence abounds that the breathalyzer-type machines that cops administer are quite imperfect. How do we know that's true, say, in Montana? Well, the test was challenged sorta-successfully (hung jury) by a kinda-tipsy Billings police officer. Thus, she gets only a speeding ticket, and every future drunk driver in Montana gets a ticket to ride. Billings Gazette
Absurdities
Good to Be an Inmate: A phone company glitch at the jail in Tavares, Fla., gave "double your money back" on unfulfilled phone calls--enough for at least one inmate to pay his bail. Orlando Sentinel
More in extended >>
Posted By: Chuck - Mon Aug 01, 2011 -
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| Alex Boese Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid. Paul Di Filippo Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1. Chuck Shepherd Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre. Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott. Contact Us |
