Weird Universe Archive
October 2014
October 7, 2014
Man in a hydrobubble
Posted By: Alex - Tue Oct 07, 2014 -
Comments (12)
Category: Sports, Travel
Vandora, the Supervan
Watch for louche poet Charles Bukowski at 1:22.
You get the theme song in the next clip. Whole film can be streamed at Amazon. IMDB entry here.
Posted By: Paul - Tue Oct 07, 2014 -
Comments (4)
Category: Motor Vehicles, Movies, Pop Art, 1970s
October 6, 2014
Firehose Art
If you go to the Manhattan Bridge Archway in New York City tomorrow, you can witness artist "Dread Scott" repeatedly trying to walk into the blast of a high-pressure water hose. He calls this performance "On the Impossibility of Freedom in a Country Founded on Slavery and Genocide." As you watch it, you're supposed to be reminded of crowd control tactics of the past and think about the ongoing struggle for equality. At least, that's the official takeaway.
Posted By: Alex - Mon Oct 06, 2014 -
Comments (5)
Category: Art, Performance Art
Michal Samama
Let me know how far you get into this performance.
Her home page.
Maybe you'd like to catch her newest exhibition in NYC:
In the theater, Ms. Samama, with a whistle in her mouth, removes her clothing and lies on the floor next to the room’s white brick wall. Stretching her legs up the wall and folding them into her belly, she travels in a continuous spiral along its perimeter. It’s painstaking work, and her labored breathing is audible through the whistle.
Posted By: Paul - Mon Oct 06, 2014 -
Comments (15)
Category: Body, Ineptness, Crudity, Talentlessness, Kitsch, and Bad Art, Performance Art
October 5, 2014
News of the Weird (October 5, 2014)
News of the WeirdWeirdnuz.M391, October 5, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
Professional Biology Research: The job of determining stress levels in whales is itself apparently stressful. The most reliable information about tension lies in hormones most accurately measured by researchers’ boarding a boat and sidling up to a whale and waiting until it blasts snot out of its blowhole. Catching enough of it (or wiping it off of their raincoats), scientists can run the gunk through chemical tests. However, a team of engineering researchers at Olin College in Needham, Mass., told the Boston Globe in September that they were on the verge of creating a radio-controlled, mucus-trapping drone that would bring greater civility to the researchers’ job (and reduce the add-on stress the whales must feel at being stalked by motorboats). [Boston Globe, 9-10-2014]
War Is Hell
(1) The newly-inaugurated “Al-Qaeda in the Indian Subcontinent” (a project of Osama bin Laden's successor, Ayman al-Zawahiri) failed spectacularly in its maiden mission in September when it attempted to commandeer an American “aircraft carrier” in port in Karachi, Pakistan. Actually, the ship was a mis-identified Pakistani naval boat that did not even vaguely resemble an aircraft carrier, and Pakistani forces killed or captured all ten jihadists. (2) A September raid on an ISIS safe house in Syria turned up, among other items (according to Foreign Policy magazine), a Dell laptop owned by Tunisian jihadist "Muhammed S," containing (not unexpectedly) recipes for bubonic plague and ricin and (less likely) a recipe for banana mousse and a variety of songs by Celine Dion. [Daily Telegraph (London), 9-12-2014] [Foreign Policy, 9-9-2014]
Latest Religious Messages
In September, the Seattle-based Mars Hill "megachurch" announced it would close several branches as founding preacher Mark Driscoll takes personal leave to contemplate over-the-top messages in past sermons about women. Among the most striking statements (as gathered by the "Wenatchee the Hatchet" blog in Wenatchee, Wash.) were those expressing certainty that women exist solely to support men. A man's "penis is not your [personal] penis,” he told men. “Ultimately, God created you, and it is his penis.” “Knowing that his penis would need a home . . . God created a woman [who] makes a very nice home." Driscoll added, helpfully, "But, though you may believe your hand is shaped like a home, it is not." [Salon.com, 9-8-2014]
Catholic priest Gerald Robinson passed away in July, and many around the Diocese of Toledo, Ohio, were shocked to learn that his body was buried with full priestly rights. Wrote the Diocese, Father Robinson "was a baptized member of the body of Christ, and he was, and remains, an ordained priest of the Roman Catholic Church." In 2006, Robinson was convicted of murdering Sister Margaret Ann Pahl years earlier. [WNWO-TV (Toledo), 7-11-2014]
Recurring Theme: Another rogue Muslim cleric enraged mainstream Islamic scholars recently. Egyptian Salafist preacher Osama al-Qusi proclaimed via fatwa in August that men could properly spy on women bathing, but only if they have "pure intentions." For example, he wrote, if a man intended to marry the woman, he might learn some things otherwise unrevealed before the ceremony. Egypt's minister for religious affairs, Mohamed Mokhtar, has already banned "tens of thousands" of "unlicensed" preachers from working in Egypt's mosques because of their embarrassing fatwas. [The Guardian (London), 8-22-2014]
Televangelist Jim Bakker no longer runs the Praise The Lord ministry but still operates a church near Branson, Mo., with a website selling a staggering array of consumer goods denominated as “love gifts” for worshipers who donate at certain levels via the website’s Shopping Cart. Featured are clothing, jewelry (some, “Tiffany-like”), bulk foods, “Superfood” legacy seeds, fuel-efficient generators (and a “foldable solar panel”), vitamins and supplements, “Jim’s Favorite” foods (like ketchup), “survival” equipment and supplies, water filtration products, and a strong commitment to the supposed benefits of “Silver Solution” gels and liquids ($25 for a 4-oz. tube) (even though the FDA has long-refused to call “colloidal silver” “safe and effective”). Of course, books, CDs, and DVDs (and a “digital download”) of Bakker’s inspirational and prophetic messages are also available. [Daily Mail (London), 9-15-2014] [JimBakkerShow.com]
First-World Dilemmas
(1) Ten parking spaces (of 150-200 square feet each) one flight below the street at the apartment building at 42 Crosby Street in New York City have been offered for sale by the developer for $1 million each--nearly five times the median U.S. price for an entire home. (2) New York City plastic surgeon Dr. Matthew Schulman told ABC News in September of an uptick in women's-calf liposuction procedures--because of ladies’ frustration at not being able to squeeze into the latest must-have boots. (The surgery is tricky because of the lack of calf fat, and recovery time of up to 10 months means surgery now will not help the fashion plates until next fall.) [New York Times, 9-10-2014] [ABC News, 9-17-2014]
The Continuing Crisis
Order in the Court: Signs went up in August in the York, Pa., courtroom of District Judge Ronald Haskell addressing two unconventional problems. First, "Pajamas are not [underlining "not"] appropriate attire for District Court." Second, "Money from undergarments will not be accepted in this office." Another judge, Scott Laird, told the York Daily Record that he'd probably take the skivvy-stored money, anyway. "The bottom line is if someone's there to pay a fine, I don't see how you can turn that away." [York Daily Record, 8-13-2014]
Compelling Explanations
Habitual petty offender Todd Bontrager, 47, charged with trespassing for probing various locked doors at a church in Broward County, Fla., in August, admitted skirting the law a few times but said it was only “to study.” “Incarceration improves your concentration abilities,” he told skeptical Judge John “Jay” Hurley, who promptly ordered him jailed to, he said, help him “further concentrate.” [South Florida Sun-Sentinel, 8-8-2014]
American Matthew Miller, 24, told the Associated Press that he had a “wild ambition” when he entered North Korea in April that he wanted to experience prison life there in order to secretly investigate the country’s human-rights stance. In September, he was convicted of espionage in a 90-minute trial and will be conducting his investigation amidst hard labor over a six-year period, beginning immediately. [Associated Press, 9-14-2014]
American Scenes
The Miracle of Meth: Three terrified people screaming out of an upper-story window at a house in Dothan, Ala., on August 24th drew police in a hurry. They were trapped, they yelled--unable to escape because intruders were still inside, shooting at them. One “victim” said she had been stabbed--and the blade broken off inside her. With their own shotgun, the three had blown out several windows and walls defending themselves. They had even ripped out an upstairs toilet and sink and dropped it on an intruder, outside. Police calmed the situation and later told reporters that there never were intruders--that the “hostages” had imagined the whole thing (except for the estimated $10,000 damage and the woman’s superficial, “defensive” stab wounds). (The home’s methamphetamine lab apparently remained intact.) [Dothan Eagle, 8-25-2014]
Least Competent Criminals
(1) Mr. Roma Sims, 35, of Westerville, Ohio, was sentenced to just over eight years in prison in August for stealing the identities of more than 500 people between 2009 and 2012--before he was done in by having misspelled the names of several cities in various documents while working the scheme. (For example, the largest city in Kentucky is not "Louieville.") (2) In Sebastopol, Calif., Dylan Stables, 20, already on probation, was arrested again mid-morning on July 22nd when, with stolen credit cards in his possession, he decided to drive his car even with transmission problems. Police noticed him as he slowly drove through town in reverse gear. [Columbus Dispatch, 8-22-2014] [Santa Rosa Press-Democrat, 7-23-2014]
Round Up the Usual Suspects
(1) Charged in August with growing marijuana at their home in Corvallis, Mont.: Rodney Stoner, 57, and his son, Adam Stoner, 24. Arrested for performing “sexually lewd acts” in front of drivers at a truck stop in Kirkwood, N.Y., in September: 56-year-old Calvin Wank. [The Missoulian, 8-2-2014] [Press & Sun-Bulletin (Binghamton), 9-22-2014]
Thanks This Week to Willis Craig and Alison Powell, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
Posted By: Chuck - Sun Oct 05, 2014 -
Comments (8)
Category:
Buttleopener forces resignation
Mark Gregory invented the Buttleopener, which is a bottle opener shaped like a woman's buttocks. Gregory also served as a member of the Williamson County school board in Tennessee, recently rising to become chairman. But the two aspects of his life (buttleopener inventor and school board chairman) have proven to be incompatible. Gregory recently resigned his position as chairman, bowing to pressure from parents who really, really didn't want him involved with the school board. [rawstory.com]
Posted By: Alex - Sun Oct 05, 2014 -
Comments (11)
Category: Education, Inventions, School
American Cornball
Christopher Miller's new book is a must-have for any WU-vie, detailing with comprehensive wit all the old humor tropes that once delighted millions, but are now just plain weird, but with a residual underlying universality.
Read a sample here.
Posted By: Paul - Sun Oct 05, 2014 -
Comments (2)
Category: Humor, Stereotypes and Cliches, Books, Nineteenth Century, Twentieth Century
October 4, 2014
Save The History
Built in 447 BC, the Parthenon sits on the Acropolis in the center of Athens Greece. Unfortunately it is in danger due to decay of the Acropolis. Repairs are being attempted, all the best of luck in that endeavor. It would be a tragedy to lose such a great piece of history.
Posted By: Alex - Sat Oct 04, 2014 -
Comments (5)
Category: History, Archaeology
Business School for Bacteria
Artist Jonathon Keats is back with a new project. He's opening a business school for bacteria. More details at modernisminc.com.
NEW SAN FRANCISCO CONSULTANCY ROUTS SILICON VALLEY MONOCULTURE WITH BIODIVERSITY
Microbial Associates Announces Complete Executive Training For Bacteria -- Microbes Available For Employment At October Launch Event
September 25, 2014 -- Creatively stifled by insular hiring practices, and struggling to distinguish themselves in an increasingly competitive marketplace, Silicon Valley technology companies are bracing for the first opportunity to radically diversify their executive workforce next month. On Tuesday, October 21st, approximately 100 billion bacteria will be certified in fields ranging from management to finance to product development by Microbial Associates, the only corporate consultancy in the world fostering successful business relationships between humans and prokaryotes.
"Bacteria are the most industrious organisms on the planet, and also the most creative," says experimental philosopher Jonathon Keats, founder and managing director of Microbial Associates. "Forming mountains and oxygenating the atmosphere, they literally made the world in which we live. Just imagine if Google or Facebook were to leverage that world-changing talent."
Mr. Keats is not surprised that bacteria have been overlooked by human resources departments. "Microbes are microscopic," he observes. Moreover they've never been educated for business, credentialed for employment, or prepared for recruitment. Microbial Associates will provide all three services in their offices at San Francisco's Modernism Gallery, where bacteria can be hired for as little as one billionth of a cent per hour.
Business lessons will be provided to bacterial populations in state-of-the-art Pyrex classrooms using chemotactic and galvanotactic techniques developed by Mr. Keats and piloted at Amherst College. "Chemotaxis and galvanotaxis are some of the primary ways bacteria sense their environment," Mr. Keats explains. "By modulating the flow of chemicals and electricity in vitro, we can demonstrate essential principles such as supply-and-demand and strategic planning." For instance, bacteria learn about supply curves by being pumped in and out of equilibrium, giving them the direct experience of a concept most CFOs grasp only in the abstract.
"The bacteria end up knowing more than many executives I've met," says Stanley Bing, Fortune Magazine columnist and author of The Curriculum, who serves as a Microbial Associates advisor. No special background is needed. "We can work with almost any species of bacteria," claims Mr. Keats, "even those in corporate lunchrooms."
Nor is enrollment limited. Because each bacterial cell is less than ten microns long, classroom throughput is more than a billion bacteria at a time, far surpassing the technological capacity of any MOOC. This small scale is also beneficial for employers in a highly competitive real estate market. Trillions of bacteria can fit inside a single cubicle.
Mr. Keats stresses that his biochemical curriculum -- which culminates in official certification and job placement for graduating bacteria -- is intended only to help microbes adjust to the human workplace. "They need to be familiar with how we think in order to gain acceptance as colleagues," he says. "But their real benefit to companies will derive from their innate skill set. Diversity breeds innovation, disrupting the creative monotony of the corporate monoculture. Systems evolved by bacteria can vastly enhance any startup or megacorporation."
Key examples of bacterial business savvy include quorum sensing and horizontal gene transfer. The former allows bacteria to respond dynamically to new opportunities regardless of population size, a crucial skill that most companies lose as they grow. The latter lets bacteria creatively recombine innovations in a changing environment, avoiding the gridlock of corporate patent disputes. Microbial Associates' strategic consultants can deliver these business principles to any boardroom -- from Silicon Valley to New York City --with or without a team of bacterial employees.
"We've learned from bacteria to be highly adaptive," says Mr. Keats. "Microbial Associates can accommodate the needs of any company and we're confident that all can gain from it. Bacteria are eons ahead of us in real-world experience. Perhaps they can even train us how to live and work sustainably in the world they invented."
Microbial Associates Announces Complete Executive Training For Bacteria -- Microbes Available For Employment At October Launch Event
September 25, 2014 -- Creatively stifled by insular hiring practices, and struggling to distinguish themselves in an increasingly competitive marketplace, Silicon Valley technology companies are bracing for the first opportunity to radically diversify their executive workforce next month. On Tuesday, October 21st, approximately 100 billion bacteria will be certified in fields ranging from management to finance to product development by Microbial Associates, the only corporate consultancy in the world fostering successful business relationships between humans and prokaryotes.
"Bacteria are the most industrious organisms on the planet, and also the most creative," says experimental philosopher Jonathon Keats, founder and managing director of Microbial Associates. "Forming mountains and oxygenating the atmosphere, they literally made the world in which we live. Just imagine if Google or Facebook were to leverage that world-changing talent."
Mr. Keats is not surprised that bacteria have been overlooked by human resources departments. "Microbes are microscopic," he observes. Moreover they've never been educated for business, credentialed for employment, or prepared for recruitment. Microbial Associates will provide all three services in their offices at San Francisco's Modernism Gallery, where bacteria can be hired for as little as one billionth of a cent per hour.
Business lessons will be provided to bacterial populations in state-of-the-art Pyrex classrooms using chemotactic and galvanotactic techniques developed by Mr. Keats and piloted at Amherst College. "Chemotaxis and galvanotaxis are some of the primary ways bacteria sense their environment," Mr. Keats explains. "By modulating the flow of chemicals and electricity in vitro, we can demonstrate essential principles such as supply-and-demand and strategic planning." For instance, bacteria learn about supply curves by being pumped in and out of equilibrium, giving them the direct experience of a concept most CFOs grasp only in the abstract.
"The bacteria end up knowing more than many executives I've met," says Stanley Bing, Fortune Magazine columnist and author of The Curriculum, who serves as a Microbial Associates advisor. No special background is needed. "We can work with almost any species of bacteria," claims Mr. Keats, "even those in corporate lunchrooms."
Nor is enrollment limited. Because each bacterial cell is less than ten microns long, classroom throughput is more than a billion bacteria at a time, far surpassing the technological capacity of any MOOC. This small scale is also beneficial for employers in a highly competitive real estate market. Trillions of bacteria can fit inside a single cubicle.
Mr. Keats stresses that his biochemical curriculum -- which culminates in official certification and job placement for graduating bacteria -- is intended only to help microbes adjust to the human workplace. "They need to be familiar with how we think in order to gain acceptance as colleagues," he says. "But their real benefit to companies will derive from their innate skill set. Diversity breeds innovation, disrupting the creative monotony of the corporate monoculture. Systems evolved by bacteria can vastly enhance any startup or megacorporation."
Key examples of bacterial business savvy include quorum sensing and horizontal gene transfer. The former allows bacteria to respond dynamically to new opportunities regardless of population size, a crucial skill that most companies lose as they grow. The latter lets bacteria creatively recombine innovations in a changing environment, avoiding the gridlock of corporate patent disputes. Microbial Associates' strategic consultants can deliver these business principles to any boardroom -- from Silicon Valley to New York City --with or without a team of bacterial employees.
"We've learned from bacteria to be highly adaptive," says Mr. Keats. "Microbial Associates can accommodate the needs of any company and we're confident that all can gain from it. Bacteria are eons ahead of us in real-world experience. Perhaps they can even train us how to live and work sustainably in the world they invented."
Posted By: Alex - Sat Oct 04, 2014 -
Comments (3)
Category: Art, Business, Universities, Colleges, Private Schools and Academia
Stayin Alive aka Fight For Your Life
Surely the re-release of this fine film would help clarify and resolve the fraught state of race relations in the USA today.
Posted By: Paul - Sat Oct 04, 2014 -
Comments (2)
Category: Hillbillies, Country Bumpkins, Ruralism and Flyover Country, Ineptness, Crudity, Talentlessness, Kitsch, and Bad Art, Movies, Racism, 1970s
| Get WU Posts by Email | |
|---|---|
| Who We Are |
|---|
| Alex Boese Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid. Paul Di Filippo Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1. Chuck Shepherd Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre. Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott. Contact Us |
