Christmas Comes to PacLand

One of those essential holiday treats!

Posted By: Paul - Mon Dec 08, 2014 - Comments (3)
Category: Anthropomorphism, Holidays, Ineptness, Crudity, Talentlessness, Kitsch, and Bad Art, Cartoons, 1980s, Videogames and Gamers

News of the Weird, December 7, 2014

News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M400, December 7, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Lead Story

Kansas lawyer Dennis Hawver was disbarred in November for his comically bad (24 separate deficiencies) defense of double-murder suspect Phillip Cheatham in 2005 (which led to a new trial for Cheatham). Hawver had admitted to the jury that his client was a “shooter of people” (a previous manslaughter conviction) who, as an “experience[d]” criminal would never have left that third victim alive with multiple gunshot wounds. A confident Hawver had virtually invited the jury to execute “whoever” the killer was. (At a September hearing to keep his license, he dressed as Thomas Jefferson, banging the lectern and shouting, as reverse psychology, “I am incompetent!”--leading the blog Lowering The Bar to muse that by then, the argument was wholly unnecessary.) Cheatham told the Topeka Capital-Journal that Hawver is “a good dude [but] just in over his head.” [Topeka Capital-Journal, 11-14-2014] [Lowering The Bar, 9-18-2014]

Names in the News

Arrested in October for burglary of a Kohl’s department store in Alhambra, Calif.: Ms. Josephine Crook, 49. Passed away on October 15th in Marietta, Ga.: Ms. Ida Gbye, 81. Arrested in October and charged with stabbing two men in Regina, Saskatchewan: Ms. Danielle Knife, 24. Charged in Mississauga, Ontario, in October with sexually assaulting three male patients: psychologist Dr. Vincent Hung Lo. Arrested in November in Gainesville, Fla., on sexual assault charges but then exonerated three days later when accuser Jeremy Foster was caught lying: Mr. Phuc Kieu, 58. [KNBC-TV (Los Angeles), 10-26-2014] [Marietta Daily Journal, 10-23-2014] [CTV News (Regina), 10-16-2014] [The Star (Toronto), 10-7-2014] [First Coast News (Jacksonville), 11-26-2014]

The Continuing Crisis

The Creative Class: To spark interest in the new leisure centre opening in Spring 2015 in Selby in North Yorkshire, England, the management company WLCT sponsored a contest to name the centre, with the prize a year’s free membership. On November 5th, General Manager Paul Hirst announced that Steve Wadsworth was the winner, proclaiming, “Well done to Steve on winning the competition.” The winning entry: “Selby Leisure Centre.” [Selby District Council press release, 11-5-2014]

A German woman who identifies herself only as “Anna Konda” described to Vice Media in October her Female Fight Club in Berlin, now three years old, for women to test themselves in all-out wrestling matches. While some are fetish-motivated dominants, others display no particular sexuality--like Anna, herself, who, she admits, simply likes to “crush” men’s and women’s skulls between her massive thighs. Anna says she is a product of East Germany’s cliched development of tough, muscular female athletes. [Vice.com, 10-20-2014]

Questionable Judgments

Those Frightening Alabama Schools: (1) In October, a mother charged that officials at E.R. Dickson School in Mobile, Ala., first detained her daughter, 5, for pointing a crayon at another student as if it were a gun, and then pressured the girl to sign a paper promising not to kill anyone or commit suicide. “What is suicide, Mommy?” the girl asked when her parents arrived. (2) In a 2010 incident at Sparkman Middle School near Huntsville, Ala., an administrator coaxed a special-needs girl, 14, into a boys’ bathroom to “bait” a 16-year-old boy who had previous sexual-misconduct issues into committing a prosecutable offense--and then failed to protect the girl. (The girl’s family sued and won a summary judgment, but the school board appealed, and in September 2014 the U.S. Justice Department formally endorsed the family’s lawsuit.) [WPMI-TV (Mobile), 10-10-2014] [Al.com (Huntsville), 9-18-2014]

The West Briton newspaper reported in October that a darts team composed of blind men was ready for its inaugural match at an inn in Grampound, England, sponsored by the St. Austell Bay Rotary Club. The inn’s landlord acknowledged that the game-room door would be closed “just in case” a dart strays off course. (The blind darters will be aided by string attached to the bull’s eye that they can feel for guidance.) [West Briton (Truro), 10-21-2014]

Police Report

Twice in September, police in North Kingstown, R.I., reported that women had complained of a motorist who would stop female strangers on the street to tell them jokes about blonde women. The jokes were not sexual but still made the women “uncomfortable.” A high school girl told her mother of a similar episode. Based on a license plate number, police visited the man at home, and he agreed to stop. [Patch.com (North Kingstown), 9-12-2014]

Unclear on the Concept

Update: In some countries, a sex “strike” organized by women is often the only hopeful tactic for convincing husbands and lovers to take grievances seriously. However, in November, Mr. Nderitu Njoka, head of a “Global Men Empowerment Network” in Nairobi, Kenya, announced that his organization would commence a “sex boycott” for five days, denying men’s “services” to their wives--to protest “tyrannical” female domination. According to Njoka, hundreds of Kenyan men are physically assaulted by females every year (including at least 100 whose wives vengefully castrate them). (Referring to a notorious U.S. incident, Njoka offered support to the singer Jay Z after he was punched by his sister-in-law Solange Knowles.) [Washington Post, 11-14-2014]

First, Do Harm: In November, according to the deputy police commissioner in Calcutta, India, a group of student doctors at Nilratan Sarkar Medical College cornered, beat, maimed, and eventually killed a man they suspected of rummaging through their belongings and stealing their mobile phones. The incident followed a series of phone and laptop thefts, and some of the enraged medical students slashed the man’s genitals before leaving him to die. [Agence France-Presse via BBC News, 11-17-2014]

Perspective

Despite a 70-year-old U.S. Supreme Court decision to the contrary, six states still have laws exempting parents from homicide charges when they deny a child life-saving medical care because they trust no remedy except prayer. Even among those states, all 12 of the deaths since 1994 under those circumstances have occurred in Idaho, where (according to a November report by Vocativ.com) no prosecutor seems willing to put a trust-in-God parent before a jury. Children in Idaho have died when simple medical treatments were available (e.g., insulin and fluids for Type I diabetes). Neighboring Oregon, by contrast, now vigorously prosecutes parents who let their children die, including a 13-year-old girl’s parents convicted in November in Albany, Ore. [Vocativ.com, 11-17-2014]

Least Competent Criminals

Police in Murfreesboro, N.C., announced in November that they had intercepted a shipment of 30 pounds of marijuana that had been loosely packaged and shipped from California by U.S. Mail, and an investigation was underway with arrests expected. Police Chief Darrell Rowe told WTKR-TV that the scent of the packages was so vivid that, even though he had summoned the department’s K-9 unit, “the dog kind of looked at us [as if to say] ‘Do you really need me for this?’” [WTKR-TV (Hampton Roads, Va.), 11-11-2014]

Recurring Themes

(1) Most recent drunk driver to hit a pedestrian with the victim’s body then lodging in the windshield--and the driver’s traveling on, seemingly oblivious: Marcos Ortega, 30, in Ocean Township, N.J., in November (whose 66-year-old victim did not survive). (2) Most recent report of birds in the wild consuming fermenting berries--and then comically crashing into trees and making goofy-looking landings: Bohemian waxwings in Canada’s Yukon, in November (where the Environment Yukon organization set them up an “avian drunk tank”). [WPVI-TV (Philadelphia), 11-12-2014] [Canadian Broadcasting Corp. News, 11-17-2014]

The Classic Middle Name (all new!)

* Arrested recently and awaiting trial for murder: Jason Wayne Autry, Holladay, Tenn. (April); Dennis Wayne Brooks, Robertsville, Mo. (November); Jimmy Wayne Estes, Charlotte, N.C. (June); Jestin Wayne Hooker, Lubbock, Tex. (July); Walter Wayne Howard, Portland, Ore. (November, for 1988 cold-case); John Wayne Mackay, James City County, Va. (indicted January); Thomas Wayne Martin, Huntsville, Ala. (indicted November). Convicted of murder: Allen Wayne Densen, Munford, Ala. (June); Darrell Wayne Frederick, Oklahoma County, Okla. (November). Sentenced for murder: Gregory Wayne Hill, Sydney, Australia (June); Stephen Wayne Jamieson, Sydney, Australia (November); Christopher Wayne Robin, Beaumont, Tex. (March). Execution for murder imminent, pending clemency hearing: Robert Wayne Holsey, Baldwin County, Ga. (November).
[Autry: The Tennessean, 4-30-2014]
[Brooks: Sullivan Independent News (Sullivan, Mo.), 11-25-2014]
[Estes: Charlotte Observer, 6-17-2014]
[Hooker: KJTV (Lubbock), 8-26-2014]
[Howard: KOIN-TV (Portland, Ore.), 11-13-2014]
[Mackay: Williamsburg Yorktown Daily, 1-16-2014]
[Martin: Al.com (Huntsville), 11-7-2014]
[Densen: CBS News, 4-15-2014]
[Frederick: The Oklahoman, 11-12-2014]
[Hill: Sydney Morning Herald, 7-31-2014]
[Jamieson: The Age (Melbourne), 11-25-2014]
[Robin: Beaumont Enterprise, 3-19-2014]
[Holsey: WMGT-TV (Atlanta), 11-25-2014]

Thanks This Week to Harry Thompson, Chris Krehbiel, Charles Congre, Chuck Hamilton, Jane Meadus, and Scott McDaniel, and to the News of the Weird Senior Advisors (Jenny T. Beatty, Paul Di Filippo, Ginger Katz, Joe Littrell, Matt Mirapaul, Paul Music, Karl Olson, and Jim Sweeney) and Board of Editorial Advisors (Tom Barker, Paul Blumstein, Harry Farkas, Sam Gaines, Herb Jue, Emory Kimbrough, Scott Langill, Bob McCabe, Steve Miller, Christopher Nalty, Mark Neunder, Sandy Pearlman, Bob Pert, Larry Ellis Reed, Peter Smagorinsky, Rob Snyder, Stephen Taylor, Bruce Townley, and Jerry Whittle).

Posted By: Chuck - Sun Dec 07, 2014 - Comments (4)
Category:

Food Jewelry

Hatanaka, a Japanese maker of plastic food replicas for restaurants, has branched out into the jewelry business. Among the eye-catching fashion accessories it's offering are a spaghetti hairpiece and a curry rice necklace. See more of its jewelry line at OhGizmo.com. You can purchase these things from Hatanaka, but it looks like they're currently out of stock.

Posted By: Alex - Sun Dec 07, 2014 - Comments (6)
Category: Fashion, Food

Natural Body Brace

Unnatural is more like it!

Original ad here.

Posted By: Paul - Sun Dec 07, 2014 - Comments (4)
Category: Body, Injuries, Inventions, 1920s

Flashcube!

I remember when Flashcube and I protested the war at the Pentagon, dropped acid with Timothy Leary, and saw the Grateful Dead at Fillmore West. What an integral part of that decade he was!

Posted By: Paul - Sat Dec 06, 2014 - Comments (5)
Category: Business, Advertising, Products, Photography and Photographers, 1960s

Unrequited Love

I assume this pick-up technique didn't work for Saturnius Villaflor.


Source: The Cuba Patriot - Nov 28, 1935

Posted By: Alex - Sat Dec 06, 2014 - Comments (1)
Category: 1930s, Love & Romance

Kangaroo Boxing

Why has this noble sport of kings been discontinued?

Posted By: Paul - Fri Dec 05, 2014 - Comments (7)
Category: Animals, Sports, Martial Arts, 1930s, Australia

Marital Bliss

Source: The Coshocton Tribune - Mar 20, 1937

Posted By: Alex - Fri Dec 05, 2014 - Comments (4)
Category: Husbands, Wives, Marriage, 1930s

Camp Bow Wow

If you want to work as a "counselor" at Camp Bow Wow, dog-sitting service, you're first going to have to sign an "employee confidentiality and non-compete agreement." According to this document, if you ever leave the company, you're forbidden from working at any other pet-sitting service within a 25-mile radius of any Camp Bow Wow for two years. The company explains that it needs to "prevent unauthorized disclosure of our trade secrets." Camp Bow Wow counselors mostly make just above minimum wage. Their chief responsibilities are picking up dog poop and other cleaning duties. [Huff Post]

Posted By: Alex - Thu Dec 04, 2014 - Comments (9)
Category: Business, Dogs

CAPTIVE BEAUTY

Documentary on Colombian prison beauty pageant.

Posted By: Paul - Thu Dec 04, 2014 - Comments (4)
Category: Beauty, Ugliness and Other Aesthetic Issues, Contests, Races and Other Competitions, Sex Symbols, Documentaries, South America