Weird Universe Archive
March 2016
March 14, 2016
Miss Optometry of 1956
In line with Alex's ceaseless quest for oddball beauty queens, may we present Kipp Hamilton, who actually had a career. But she must have misremembered this honor, for all sources quote Kipp as claiming it happened in the year 1953. But such data has become easier to verify or disprove since Google added its newspaper archives.
Original story here.
Posted By: Paul - Mon Mar 14, 2016 -
Comments (7)
Category: Beauty, Ugliness and Other Aesthetic Issues, Contests, Races and Other Competitions, Movies, 1950s, Eyes and Vision
March 13, 2016
News of the Weird (March 13, 2016)
News of the WeirdWeirdnuz.M466, March 13, 2016
Copyright 2016 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
Take That, Portland! Seattle’s ambitious Office of Arts & Culture has allocated $10,000 this year to pay a poet or writer to create a work while present on the city’s Fremont Bridge drawbridge. The Office’s deputy director told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer in January that the city wants to encourage “public art” and that the grant will oblige the recipient to create a work of prose or poetry from the Bridge’s northwest tower, to help the people of Seattle understand the function of art in the city. (The artist will not be “in residence,” for the tower has no running water.) [Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 1-14-2016]
The Continuing Crisis
The Dominant-Submissive lifestyle soared to higher-brow status in February when the New York Times reported on the recent marriage of the celebrated composer of “moody, queasy” works (and compulsive dominant) Georg Friedrich Haas to Mollena Williams, who blogs introspectively of her own kinky bondage as “The Perverted Negress.” Friedrich had introduced himself to her on a dating site with the note, “I would like to tame you,” and credits her acceptance for his improved productivity--because, he said, “I am not [any longer] disturbed by unfulfilled thoughts.” Although Williams-Haas is a black woman submitting to a white man, she explained that, “To say I can’t play my personal psychodrama out just because I’m black, that’s racist.” [New York Times, 2-24-2016]
New World Order
Exasperated, Columbia County (Pa.) District Judge Craig Long felt the need to post a sign outside his courtroom in January informing visitors that they should not wear pajamas to court. However, even Judge Long acknowledged that his admonition was not enforceable and that he was merely trying to encourage minimal standards. [WNEP-TV (Moosic, Pa.), 1-29-2016]
A “Microaggression”! In its brand-new communications stylebook this year for city workers, San Diego officials noted that the city’s then-upcoming Presidents’ Day announcements should, to avoid offending, never refer to America’s “Founding Fathers”--even though they were all males--but only to “founders.” [Pacific Justice Institute press release, 2-8-2016]
Bright Ideas
“Medical” marijuana will take on a new meaning soon if the Food and Drug Administration approves Foria Relief cannabis vaginal suppositories for relieving menstrual pain (from the California company Foria). Currently, the product is available only in California and Colorado, at $44 for a four-pack. The company claims the inserts are targeted to the pelvic nerve endings, but International Business Times, citing a gynecologist-blogger, noted that the only studies on the efficacy of Foria Relief were done on the uteruses of rats. [International Business Times UK, 2-2-2016]
The roadside billboard giant Clear Channel Outdoor Americas announced in February that it would soon be recording the cell-phone locations of drivers who pass the company’s signs in 11 cities in order to give advertisers more information on how to pitch products to people with those particular travel patterns and behaviors. Clear Channel asserts that no individual identifications would be sought, but privacy advocates fret about potential abuses, and even a Clear Channel executive acknowledged that the program “does sound a bit creepy.” (On the other hand, as Clear Channel pointed out to the New York Times, cell phone users’ locations and characteristics are already being extensively monitored by advertisers.) [New York Times, 2-28-2016]
Not the Usual Suspects
A then-married couple, both graduates of elite California law schools, were convicted of felonies and went to jail briefly two years ago for a criminal scheme inexplicably tawdry--and in February 2016 lost a resultant civil lawsuit for $5.7 million to the scheme’s victim. A woman at their child’s school had referred to the lawyers’ son as “slow,” enraging Kent Easter (Univ. of California at Berkeley) and then-wife Jill (UCLA), who retaliated by planting drugs and paraphernalia in Kelli Peters’s car and then, a man identified via circumstantial evidence as Kent (with an accent as if from India), called in a DUI tip to police, resulting in Peters’s arrest. According to Peters, neither perpetrator has ever expressed remorse, and although Kent admitted to “stupidity,” he now complains that Peters does not deserve her windfall (like a “Powerball winner,” he said). [Orange County Register, 2-6-2016]
The online-pornography colossus Pornhub’s charity fundraising promotion during February benefited the Moclips Cetological Society (“Save the Whales”) in honor of February 13th’s World Whale Day. Its news release celebrated whales’ sexuality--that they, like humans, do not limit their horniness to procreation. The company said it would, from February 8th-29th, donate a penny for every 2,000 videos played on its ubiquitous free websites. (That offer might appear modest, but a Seattle Post-Intelligencer reporter noted, over the first two days, the world’s porn consumers had played 532 million videos--earning the charity $2,660.) [Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 2-10-2016]
Can’t Possibly Be True
Vicky Leyton, 72, announced her retirement recently in Benidorm, Spain, over health concerns, but the lady’s 30-year run in her one-of-a-kind, “Sticky Vicky” magic show can hardly be forgotten by the six million fans who have witnessed it. Trained as a ballerina but emulating magicians who pull rabbits out of top hats, Vicky extracted an impressive array of items, also--from a “body cavity” that is occasionally the subject of News of the Weird stories. One review in Spain’s El Pais newspaper described a typical inventory: fluffy flags, flowers, ping-pong balls, sausages, eggs, a string of razor blades, a bottle, and a light bulb (that was aglow!). [The Local (Madrid), 2-22-2016]
Nothing More to See Here?
Additional Details Needed: (1) Andrew McNeil, 34, was arrested in Lincoln, Neb., in January and charged with disturbing the peace. According to the police report (and lacking follow-up reporting by local news outlets), McNeil was found around 11 p.m. naked and “covered in sawdust.” (2) Rob Moore, 32, was arrested for misdemeanor drug possession in Marathon, Fla., in February, but he had only come to police attention when an officer heard him banging on the trunk of his car from the inside. Without follow-up reporting, Moore’s story was that he was looking for something in the trunk, fell in, and couldn’t get out. [KETV (Omaha), 1-22-2016] [South Florida Sun-Sentinel, 2-4-2016]
Least Competent Criminals
Perps Who Needed to Hit the Gym: (1) Anthony Nemeth, 26, seeking pain medication but lacking a prescription, leaped over the pharmacy counter of a Walgreens in Bradenton, Fla., in February and demanded a supply. Customer David West, 25, standing at the counter with his girlfriend, ended the “robbery” with four quick punches, sending Nemeth to the floor. (West is a competitive boxer and reportedly a former state champion.) (2) Wheelchair-user Betty Jeffery, 76, was briefly the victim of a purse-snatching in Pitsea, England, in February. She appeared vulnerable, but in fact is a former national arm-wrestling champion and slugged the young female thief in the face, slowing her down and leading her to drop the purse as she fled. [WFLA-TV (Tampa), 2-17-2016] [Braintree & Witham Times, 2-18-2016]
Didn’t Think It Through: (1) Simon Chaplin, 62, thought he had cleverly evaded police near Hebron, England, recently (thus avoiding a speeding ticket) by employing a do-it-yourself, James Bond-style smokescreen device on his Peugeot sedan, facilitating a smoggy getaway. Initially, baffled police officers were forced to hang back, but of course as the haze broke, they merely followed the smoke trail up ahead and caught Chaplin (who was convicted in Swansea Crown Court in February). (2) The man who tried to vandalize a cafe in the Richmond suburb of Melbourne, Australia, in February, got away, but surveillance video showed that, in dousing the outside of the building with fire accelerant, he had also doused his own shoes and was spotted running off with his feet on fire. [Daily Mail (London), 2-16-2016] [9News.com (Melbourne), 2-18-2016]
A News of the Weird Classic (August 2011)
Unclear on the Concept: A Singaporean army draftee caused a public stir in March [2011] when he was photographed by a visitor as he underwent physical training in army fatigues but with his maid following behind him carrying his backpack on her shoulders. (Army officials told reporters the draftee had since been "counsel[ed].") [BBC News, 4-5-2011]
Thanks This Week to the News of the Weird Board Editorial Advisors.
Posted By: Chuck - Sun Mar 13, 2016 -
Comments (3)
Category:
The Kabalarian Philosophy
Their page.
Their entry at THE SKEPTIC'S DICTIONARY lets us know: "Since the death of Mr. Parker in 1964, the Kabalarians, headquartered in Vancouver, B.C., have been led by Ivon Shearing who was sentenced to five years in prison in 1997 for sexually abusing several teenage girls over a twenty-five year period."
Posted By: Paul - Sun Mar 13, 2016 -
Comments (3)
Category: Frauds, Cons and Scams, Lies, Dishonesty and Cheating, Paranormal, Religion, Myths and Fairytales, 1930s
California’s Serious Draught
Scott Allen Meek is running for President, and he's not afraid to call attention to serious issues. For instance, right at the top of his campaign website he points out that "California is in it's 5th year of a Serious Draught."
He's the only candidate I'm aware of who's ever drawn attention to this problem, but as a California resident, I can confirm that it's absolutely true. Sometimes it gets so draughty here that I have to put on a sweatshirt. And as someone who's spent quite a bit of time in the UK, I appreciate his use of the British spelling of the word.
Other issues important to Meek include the promotion of desalination and hemp farming.
Posted By: Alex - Sun Mar 13, 2016 -
Comments (6)
Category: Politics, Strange Candidates
March 12, 2016
Pat-On-The-Back Machine
After you've put in your time with Paul's self-kicking machine, you can give yourself a pat on the back, using this pat-on-the-back machine invented by Heinz Stöver of Bremen, Germany. Or, as it's called in German, a Schulterklopfmaschine.Not sure when this picture was taken, but I'm guessing sometime in the 1980s.
It seems like the Germans like pat-on-the-back machines, because a Google search pulls up a variety of them. And if you do a search for "Arschtrittmaschine" you'll find quite a few self-kicking machines, which they also apparently like.
Posted By: Alex - Sat Mar 12, 2016 -
Comments (4)
Category: Inventions
“I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke!”
Egyptian swingers get down with Coke.
Posted By: Paul - Sat Mar 12, 2016 -
Comments (1)
Category: Business, Advertising, Products, Foreign Customs, Soda, Pop, Soft Drinks and other Non-Alcoholic Beverages, 1950s
March 11, 2016
Human Flesh Cure
The 1999 film Ravenous (starring Guy Pearce and Robert Carlyle) is about cannibalism. It's loosely inspired by the stories of the Donner Party and Alferd Packer. But it also includes the idea that eating human flesh can cure any wound or disease.I was reminded of that film when I came across this real-life case, from 1932, of someone trying the human-flesh cure, apparently successfully. But I wonder why the husband fed his wife only a third of his thigh steak? What did he do with the rest? Does eating too much human flesh turn someone into a vampire?
The Des Moines Register - Dec 25, 1932
In Fukuoka prefecture, Japan, banking on the superstition that to eat of human flesh cures all ills, a Korean whose wife had neuralgia cut a half-pound slice of flesh off his thigh, cut the slice in three parts, cooked one part, fed it to his wife, telling her it was rabbit. His wife improved; he went to the government hospital with an infected thigh.
Posted By: Alex - Fri Mar 11, 2016 -
Comments (7)
Category: Cannibalism, Medicine, 1930s
Tom Haywood’s Self-Kicking Machine
Look at the sorry state of this fine invention nowadays.
Posted By: Paul - Fri Mar 11, 2016 -
Comments (8)
Category: Eccentrics, Humor, Inventions, Regionalism, 1950s
March 10, 2016
Name That List, #29
What is this a list of? The answer is below in extended.- Intelligent Bullet
- Andante con Moto
- Pastelogram
- Bullet Cloisonné
- Intelligent Whale
- Thunderblender
- Cresta Lark
- Mongoose Civique
- Symmechromatic
- Utopian Turtletop
More in extended >>
Posted By: Alex - Thu Mar 10, 2016 -
Comments (11)
Category: Name That List
Mystery Illustration 18
What product or service was this groovy illustration touting?
The answer is here.
Posted By: Paul - Thu Mar 10, 2016 -
Comments (12)
Category:
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| Alex Boese Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid. Paul Di Filippo Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1. Chuck Shepherd Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre. Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott. Contact Us |
