Carolyn Clark claims that playing with make-believe crooks helps young children avoid becoming real one. To that end, Clark and her partner, Rennie Resmini, both Philadelphians, have designed “Thuggies,” a line of 17 dolls.

Each comes packaged in a cardboard “jail cell” with a “rap sheet” describing his or her crime — and the penalty being paid. For instance, “Bonnie Ann Bribe” is said to be serving time by reading to senior citizens an hour a day. Bonnie, who did not read in first grade, wanted to bribe her way through school. “Dwight Collared Grimes,” who wears a pin-striped suit and a tie and, according to his rap sheet, used to have his hand in other people’s cookie jars, is said to be “presently on cookie-baking duty.”

According to Clark, the positive effect of cuddling these criminals comes from the notion that the doll’s young owner plays a role in “reforming” them. She explained that the dolls, expected to cost about $35 each, have a report card that explains what they have to do to go straight.

Since his involuntary retirement, Gorbachev has raised money for worthy causes, attempted to make a comeback in Russian politics, and, notoriously, made an advertisement for Pizza Hut. The ad would have become a footnote were it not for its long second life online, where it’s rediscovered every few years. There’s an undeniable voyeuristic frisson of seeing a man who once commanded a superpower hawking pizza.

The whole ash thing was a complete fluke when we wrote up our wills in 1992; he put in a direction to have me cremate him and put his ashes into a comic book. Yeah, yeah…that will never happen, I thought to myself. Little did I know, four years later I’d be doing just that. And Marvel cooperated and we did it! I drove up to the plant in Connecticut and stirred the ashes into the ink that was used for Squadron Supreme, his best-selling graphic novel. That all happened between 1996-97.

Running over a cat is a sign you're about to have a spiritual crisis.

Running over a deer means you're about to hurt someone you love.

Crushing a crow with your car means you're not prepared for the future.

Rolling over a snake could mean you're about to have a heart attack or other serious accident.

If you run over a dog, expect your friendships to take a turn for the worse.

If a bee collides with your windshield, you need to make more time for yourself.

... mashed mosquitos have no effect whatsoever on your future.