Tampa Times - Jan 4, 1939
Wisconsin State Journal - Dec 30, 1957
The Munster Times - Dec 20, 1965
What would Christmas be without Santa dying?
Back in 2016, I posted
a list of various Santas that have died over the years, often collapsing in front of crowds of horrified children.
The Moscow Times reports that it's happened again:
A Russian Santa Claus has reportedly died during New Year’s festivities at a kindergarten in Siberia.
Known as Ded Moroz, or Father Frost, Russian versions of Santa Claus host children’s holiday parties with the fairy tale snow maiden Snegurochka, in a still-popular Soviet-era tradition.
A man in a Ded Moroz costume died during festivities at a kindergarten in the Siberian city of Kemerovo, the local sibdepo.ru news website reported Tuesday.
“The man felt ill in the kindergarten, he was taken in an ambulance but died on the way to the hospital,” the outlet cited an unnamed medical source as saying.
The unidentified 67-year-old Ded Moroz “complained of chest pain” and died before the ambulance arrived, Interfax cited another unnamed source as saying.
Not entirely true.
Newsweek - Feb 15, 1965
Arizona Daily Star - Dec 25, 2013
La Crosse Tribune - Dec 18, 1966
Hazleton Standard-Speaker - Nov 24, 1990
We've touched before on the theme of the death of Santa Claus, such as
the metaphorical death of Santa portrayed in an ad, or
a man who had changed his name to Santa finally giving up the ghost.
However, there's another recurring weird news theme in which Santa Claus literally drops dead, often in front of a crowd of horrified children. What happens is that if you take a guy who's out of shape and overweight, dress him up in a hot costume, and make him do an unaccustomed level of exertion, the odds of him collapsing from a medical condition increase dramatically. Although Santas have also perished from non-medical causes (beard catching on fire, helicopter crash).
Fort Wayne Daily News - Dec 26, 1898
Belvidere Daily Republican - Dec 23, 1912
Taylor Daily Press - Dec 27, 1920
Indianapolis Star - Dec 24, 1922
San Bernardino County Sun - Dec 19, 1932
Oakland Tribune - Dec 13, 1925
Carbondale Daily Free Press - Dec 26, 1925
Hammond Times - Dec 19, 1937
Abilene Reporter-News - Dec 23, 1945
Rushville Republican - Dec 11, 1967
Louisville Courier-Journal - Dec 7, 1983
Over at about.com, I gathered together some of the more memorable moments in the long history of people battling over whether or not Santa exists. There were so many I had to do it in a 2-part series:
PART ONE and
PART TWO.
Some of my favorites:
- The french woman who divorced her husband because of his insistence on believing in Santa (which was his excuse for not giving her any presents — because Santa was supposed to bring them).
- The Freudian psychologist who argued that Santa really is a representation of the father figure, inserting himself into the chimney, which is a symbol of mom's hoochie coochie.
- Spy magazine's classic 1991 "statistical investigation" of Santa which noted that if Santa traveled fast enough to deliver gifts to millions of children in one night, the air resistance at that speed would cause his reindeer to burst into flames.
How would it be for you if your car had killed Santa Claus?
Source: Kansas City Times - Dec 9, 1969
Here's a treat from weird news of Christmases past. Published in the
Miami Herald,
Jan 4, 1984:
A disgruntled investor dressed as Santa Claus abducted his broker from a Christmas party and punished him for 12 days in a homemade torture chamber because $500,000 in deals had gone sour, police said Tuesday. Broker Robert J. Haye, 49, of Mount Lebanon was freed by police Monday at a farm 50 miles south of Pittsburgh. He was found chained and handcuffed to a bed in the makeshift torture chamber...
Haye was kept in a small trailer inside the building that contained the bed, an electric chair and a pine box resembling a coffin with spikes inside, police said. He had been drugged and shocked repeatedly, police said.
"Over the 12 days, he was beaten and tortured," said Detective Lt. Leo O'Neill. "His nose was broken. He was placed in the chair at various times and interrogated. He had been given junk food. We were lucky to find the victim alive."
Phillippi was arrested at his home, and police later recovered the Santa Claus suit.
Merry Christmas! The snowman just burnt the house down.
Hallmark cards has
recalled 7000 snowman-shaped snow globes which were acting as magnifying glasses when placed in sunlight and igniting nearby materials. Anyone who owns one of these snow globes is advised to keep it out of the light.