Every so often you come across an article in the news that leaves you shaking your head and wondering what the world is coming to. This is one of those stories. Joan Higgens, aged 66, a pet shop owner in northern England has been fined, given a curfew and electronically tagged, because she sold a goldfish to a fourteen year old. Apparently it is illegal to sell pets to anyone under the age of sixteen, as minors are deemed incapable of taking care of the animals.
Hemet, California, has traditionally been known as a quiet retirement community. Until now. For whatever reason, someone (or more likely, several someones) has decided that the police are the bad guys and that they should be dealt with. And while we might not approve of what these anonymous folks are doing, you have to admit that they are going to extraordinary measures: a gas line re-routed directly into the police station, a ballistic contraption designed to go off when the gate is opened, and explosive devices attached to police vehicles. Investigators have no idea who might be behind the recent attacks except to point out that the gang enforcement division has been targeted more than any other. Read more about it on Yahoo.
I live by the code of the parking chair. Someone (the writer didn't even know that the magnificent parking chair had a name, let alone all that it stands for) fired off a letter to my local paper today vilifying the practice, and it had me outraged. I've since submitted a rebuttal. In the course of research for the letter, I found the following recent story from The Morning Call in Allentown, PA detailing what can happen when you don't respect the parking chair. The police may have assured the man he did nothing wrong by moving the chair, but I bet he doesn't do it again. And if you believe in the chair like I do, you can always show it!
Police in North Vernon, Indiana say it is obvious this man had a death wish. That may not be so uncommon for men his age and perhaps in his profession, but he accomplished it in a very disturbing fashion. I've followed the events in The North Vernon Plain Dealer & Sun, but I do find it somewhat unnerving that the story is making the rounds through many newspapers in central and southern Indiana, as I fear widespread dissemination of the story may open the door to copycats. UPDATE: Meth, unsuprisingly, played a role. Greensburg Daily News
Unrelated bonus mugshot from the same paper of Nikkiah C. Weddle, a loving mother, that just appears slothful. I feel that her having smoked marijuana three weeks earlier will play a heavy role in her defense, since we've all smoked a joint that we took almost a full month to recover from.
Talk about dedication to your job. Arizona Department of Public Safety spokesman Bart Graves summed it up pretty well, in fact, when he said "Yeah, that really does suck." He's referring to the recent drug bust the Arizona police made when they discovered more than seven hundred pounds of marijuana stuffed into the septic tank on a truck hauling human waste. Leonard Salcido of Tucson was arrested and charged with possession and transportation of marijuana. Read the article and see the pictures on CNN.
In the body of Florida's laws, there are bound to be quite a few that defy explanation. For example, Florida statute 876.13 which states: No person or persons shall in this state, while wearing any mask, hood, or device whereby any portion of the face is so hidden, concealed, or covered as to conceal the identity of the wearer, enter upon, or be, or appear upon or within the public property of any municipality or county of the state. That said, we can now understand what the cop was thinking when he arrested 18 year old Matthew David Lopez on Tuesday. Because Mr. Lopez was walking down a public street wearing a clown mask and orange wig. You can read about his arrest here. The reader comments range from jokes about the stupidity of the police for turning this into an arrest in the first place, to those who defend the cop's actions, and those who insist that if the police want to arrest anyone for this, it ought to be aimed at Muslim women who wear the niqab (face veil).
Jesse Gonzalez, 24, of Bridgeport Connecticut, was struck by a car and a bus while fleeing the scene of a fatal shooting Monday evening. Apparently Jesse and his father, Joaquin Gonzalez, had a history of domestic violence and officers had been called to their home before to settle disputes. But the argument on February 22 ended badly. Jesse is accused of shooting his father in the head, killing him. The article includes photos and a video.
Was Jesus Gay? Elton John seems to think so. He stated as much in a recent Parade magazine interview. Of course the mere idea struck terror into the hearts of all homophobic Christians and those who choose to interpret the bible as saying "discriminate openly" rather than "love thy fellow man".
And what about those silly gay people who want to serve in the military? Surprisingly, a recent CBS News poll asking about Obama's wish to repeal the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, finds that a majority of the public support allowing openly gay men and women to serve. But what's even more surprising is that the same poll doesn't want homosexuals to serve. I suppose the poll was worded badly. Or maybe the people who answered that poll still think gay means 'having or showing a merry, lively mood'. In that case, who wouldn't want a bunch of merry old souls in the military?
A would be bank-robber in Austria was foiled in his robbery attempt when the bank closed early for a staff training session. The man came equipped with a Barack Obama mask and gun but was stopped at the first hurdle when the locked door refused to open for him. Staff inside initially thought it was part of the training or a joke, and their laughter aggravated the criminal until he eventually fled empty-handed (Digital Spy).
More successful were the thieves that managed to steal several US landmarks, including the Palace of Fine Arts, USS Pampanito and Ghirardelli Square. Models of course, part of an exhibition of Mark and Jannet Benz’s Lego creations on display at the Palo Alto Museum of American Heritage, and worth several thousand dollars. A reward of $500 has been offered by the Benzes (SF Weekly).
But if Jan and Mark are thinking of upping their home security, they should perhaps avoid following the example of Alexander Skopintsew of Primorye in Russia, who decided to deter intruders by planting homemade landmines around his garden. He was inevitably found out when a trespasser was injured when setting off one of these devices, and charged with possession of illegal weapons, receiving a suspended sentence (ABC News).
Of course another alternative might be to have nothing worth stealing. Perhaps something similar occurred to retired lorry driver Ken Strickland, who amassed a collection of over 3000 watering cans, each meticulously documented. Sadly Mr. Strickland died last month aged 78, bequeathing the entire assortment to his niece, who is at a loss as to what to do with them and may in fact sell them on behalf of a charity. One watering can however will not be up for sale, it contains her uncle's ashes (Metro).
Meanwhile hundreds of other women up and down the UK might be feeling a little let down this Monday, after British department store Debenhams recorded a 76% surge in sales of their range of “anatomy boosting” underwear for men ahead of Valentine’s day. Turn around is fair play, I say (Reuters).
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.