Follies of the Mad Men #78

Now that the coffee tastes better and hubby will drink it, wifey can add the poison this idiot so richly deserves.

Posted By: Paul - Wed Dec 09, 2009 - Comments (3)
Category: Business, Advertising, Products, Crime, Domestic, Marriage, Food, 1960s

Wanted:  Fernando Botero Model!

You might have been following this recent case of a stolen baby. I suggest the police interrogate famous Colombian artist Botero. Surely the suspect has previously modeled for Botero at some point.

Posted By: Paul - Sat Oct 03, 2009 - Comments (3)
Category: Art, Crime, Babies and Toddlers, South America

Moment of Decision

Posted By: Paul - Thu Sep 24, 2009 - Comments (6)
Category: Crime, Stupid Criminals, Juvenile Delinquency, 1960s, Cars

Stranger Slaps Toddler

In a Walmart in Stone Mountain, Georgia a complete stranger goes up to the mother of a crying toddler and said, "If you don't shut the baby up, I will shut her up for you." Usually this is an empty threat made out of annoyance, but this time the threat was real. The man, 61 year old Roger Stephens, ended up slapping the little girl in the face several times. The man was later arrested for "first-degree cruelty to children", but not before telling the mother "See, I told you I would shut her up." The man later apologized, but I think that the damage has already been done. CNN

Posted By: mdb777 - Thu Sep 03, 2009 - Comments (10)
Category: Crime, Stupidity, Violence, Babies and Toddlers

Stupid Punts, Cheesy Bankers and the World’s Wurst Museum!

In what looks likely to go down as the slowest naval engagement of all time, rival punting companies in the historic English town of Cambridge are apparently engaging in a clandestine war for the city's annual passenger river-trade, worth an estimated £2.5m ($4m). The latest move in what the locals dub "the punt wars" has seen two of the flat, pole-propelled craft belonging to one local operator sawn through from end to end. Until now, some punt companies have stuck to using stink bombs or liquid soap to incapacitate their rivals' craft, or have severed mooring chains so that the boats must be found and recovered before they can start work, but this latest escalation of the conflict, which caused £10k of actual damage, is worrying many people. Some are now calling for a limit on the number of punts allowed to work on the river (Guardian).

Meanwhile, in Milan in Italy, the loan-collateral held in the vault at Credito Emiliano is not only protected by inches of steel and high-tech alarms systems, it's also maintained at the perfect temperature and humidity, and turned and cleaned by automated systems to ensure that it keeps its value. That's because Credito Emiliano is offering the local cheese-makers loans of up to 60% of the value of any parmesan cheese deposited with them. With each parmesan wheel worth 300 euros ($400), and local producers typically putting up 2000 wheels in a year in collateral, this has meant the bank has lent nearly 420 thousand euros ($600k) to each customer against the cheese in their vault. Which is gouda news for the local cheese industry (AP).

If there is one food that could be intimately linked with the German city of Berlin, it's the currywurst. A twisted cousin to the American chilli-dog, from a parallel universe so evil even the women have goatees, the Berlin currywurst is a sliced pork sausage served with plenty of powdered curry and cayenne and covered in a spicy, curry sauce and sold by street vendors to the passing trade. So popular is this snack in Berlin that the city has just opened the Currywurst Museum to show off the dish's history to tourists and locals alike. Partly this is to support Berlin's claims to be the birthplace of the currywurst, but it is also hoped the museum will promote the snack in the face of increasing competition from more conventional fast food. As one might expect from a museum dedicated to this singular foodstuff, the cafeteria includes an authentic currywurst stand (Times).

(Images from Wikipedia.)

Posted By: Dumbfounded - Sun Aug 23, 2009 - Comments (4)
Category: Business, Crime, Destruction, Museums, Pirates

A Little Light Weirdness - 3

Brazilian TV presenter, Wallace Souza, has brought a whole new meaning to the term "hit show", by allegedly arranging the deaths of at least four people to boost the ratings of his mid-day real crime show. Souza, a former policeman and prominent politician, is accused of being behind a criminal drug network with an estimated turnover of $25m a month, while the murder victims were all either partners who had fallen from favour or from rival outfits. Once the hit had been set up, it is claimed Souza would receive a tip-off so that camera crews for his program could reach the scene before even the police (Guardian).

Someone else who may be meeting with an "accident" pretty soon is Ginger the kune-kune pig, who is not in pensioner Anne Moon's best books after swallowing her $2500 dollar diamond engagement ring right off her hand. Mrs. Moon, who had gone to pet the pig just prior to the impromptu a-la-main meal, immediately alerted the pig's owner, farmer Paul Caygill, and hopes to be reunited with the ring given to her 30 years ago once nature takes its course (Fox News).

And while Anne Moon is left hanging around dumb animals, in the Norwegian town of Helgoysund, it is the dumb animals that are hanging around. For it is there that a ram managed to get its horns entangled in one of the town's overhead electric cables, before losing its footing, astonishing onlookers as it subsequently abseiled down the hill towards the next pole. Locals suspect that this may have been caused by an over rambitious attempt to reach the ewes in a lower field, and after the ram was eventually towed back to higher ground and released unharmed, he was allowed access by way of compensation for his ordeal (Daily Mail).

Still on the subject of dumb animals, that is presumably what one Parisian store is hoping to attract with its latest creation, a fusball table populated entirely by Barbies. The "Barbie Foot", by French "concept-store" Colette, uses 22 of the ubiquitous dolls, in contrasting uniforms of pink and white in its limited edition table football game, which it hopes to sell for 10,000 euros, that is $14,000, each (Guardian).



More in extended >>

Posted By: Dumbfounded - Wed Aug 12, 2009 - Comments (4)
Category: Animals, Crime, Death, Exercise and Fitness, Furniture, Government, Law, Television, Goofs and Screw-ups

Starved of Everything but Luxury!

Coleridge's Rime of the Ancient Mariner includes the line "Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to drink!" to evoke the torment of Tantalus that was visited on the eponymous anti-hero for killing an albatross. It seems a similar punishment may have befallen two fugitives from justice after they starved to death on board the luxury yacht they stole to escape in.

Peter Clarke and Sharon Arthurs-Chegini went on the run in the last weeks of 2005 after being charged and bailed for theft and fraud. Dubbed a modern-day "Bonnie and Clyde", the pair had previously enjoyed a "champagne and cocaine lifestyle", according to Ms Chegini's step-daughter, before one of Clarke's schemes, claiming to be refurbishing a Devon hotel - to include a heliport among other extravagances - so as to serve the celebrity elite, came crashing down. Clarke and Chegini had thrown lavish parties to separate potential investors from hundreds of thousands of pounds, but were caught trying to sneak out of their hotel without settling the £1000 bill and placed under arrest. When Clarke was unable to settle the debt, he and Sharon jumped bail and stole a yacht, only to sail it a scant 25 miles round the coast of England before being caught and charged with its theft. This time when the ran, they made a better job of it, finally making their way to Portugal in May 2006, where they stole another yacht and sailed it out to sea.

They were not seen again until September of that year, when the yacht was spotted drifting off the coast of Senegal, storm-damaged and with a torn sail. On board were the badly decomposed bodies of Clarke and Chegini, along with Chegini's diary, in which she detailed how they had not eaten for weeks and had only urine mixed with sea-water to drink. In her entry for June 19th, Sharon wrote "I dream of my mum’s steak and kidney pie, steak pie and sausage and mash" (Telegraph).

Posted By: Dumbfounded - Thu Jul 23, 2009 - Comments (4)
Category: Boats, Crime, Death, Frauds, Cons and Scams, Body Fluids

Your Historical Daily Loser(s)

Ronald Cousin, Steve Nelon and Jerome Thompson, of Las Vegas, Nevada, along with two underaged pals, decided to try a little breaking and entering. Unfortunately for them, they picked the wrong house. The Story.

Christopher Newton, former reporter for the Associated Press, was fired when it was discovered that he was making up all of his news sources. It only took the AP a few years to catch on... The Story.

Walter Nowakowski, from Canada, was caught driving the wrong way down a one way street. The police say he was distracted. Not such a big deal, you say? How about the fact that he was distracted because he had his pants around his ankles and he was watching child porn on his laptop as he drove. The Story.

If you live in Wrexham, you might want to stay off the roads. Michelle Hughes was arrested after she smashed her car into a parked vehicle and then drove head-on into another. But apparently her erratic driving was caused by her excessive drinking and not because she is legally blind. The Story.

Actually, these guys might be winners for getting away with it... Army and Navy personnel, from the officers down to the enlisted men, were issued travel cards (credit cards paid for by Uncle Sam), and they had a jolly good time using those cards to pay for their visits to brothels and strip clubs. The Story.

Posted By: Nethie - Sun Jun 07, 2009 - Comments (4)
Category: Crime, Sex Lives Worse Than Yours, Your Daily Loser, Goofs and Screw-ups

Weird Wildlife

It's a law of nature that when you've got to go, you've got to go. So if you happen to be a penguin out on the antarctic ice, well, that's where you've got to go. Which turns out to be an extremely useful fact for scientists, who have used piles of penguin poo identified on satellite images to locate where penguin colonies form. Researchers from the British Antarctic Survey hope to use the new technique to follow the penguins over many seasons and determine how much impact global warming is having on the species (Telegraph).

Meanwhile British beekeepers must be cursing that not all animals can be tracked by satellite so easily after an outbreak of bee-rustling has swept the coutryside. The spate of thefts has been provoked by rises in the price of honey combined with a shortage of bees brought about by disease. In the largest bee-heist so far, 18 hives containing over a million bees were stolen from a strawberry field they had been pollinating. According to John Howat of the Bee Farmers Association, pulling off such an audacious crime would require "inside knowledge" (BBC News).

And it's not just beekeepers who are missing their wildlife. A UK radio station that has broadcast nothing but a repeating loop of birdsong for 18 months as "filler" has finally shut down to make way for a new commercial station, and raised howls of protest from many of its half a million regular listeners. The twenty year-old recording, made in a wiltshire garden and used by the radio station free-of-charge, became a massive hit with people from all over Britain, including author Terry Pratchett, who found it a relaxing alternative to the usual radio fare. The replacement broadcast, Amazing Radio, plays music by unsigned bands uploaded to amazingtunes.com (Pocket Lint).

Finally, here's one story that almost missed the boat (ark?), swimming with stingrays may be harmful... for the stingrays. Scientists monitoring the sealife around the Camen islands have found that tourist excursions to pet the wildlife around the islands is leading to weaker immune systems and poorer health in the animals. Christina Semeniuk, an ecologist at Simon Fraser University in Canada, cited collisions with boats, overcrowding and hand-fed squid forming an greater part of their diet as the main suspects. She pointed to other studies on bears, penguins, dolphins, and apes which also showed increased stress and illness due to wildlife tourism (Guardian).

Posted By: Dumbfounded - Tue Jun 02, 2009 - Comments (7)
Category: Agriculture, Animals, Crime, Science

Your Daily Loser & Jury Duty for May 31st

Your Historical Daily Loser - Edward Blaine was having a bad day. How bad was it, you ask? When he tried to rob a bank in Port Royal, Virginia, he dropped half the money on the way out, then discovered he had locked his keys inside the getaway car. That's when the angry civilians caught up to him. He tried to flee but was run down and in the struggle he managed to shoot himself in the leg. The Story.

Jury Duty - The expression on Joseph Monahan's face is priceless. He's been charged with disorderly conduct in a licensed establishment. Disorderly conduct is defined as acts that are of a nature to corrupt the public morals, or outrage the sense of public decency, etc. A licensed establishment is, for lack of a better word, a bar. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but, isn't a bar the perfect place to commit acts that could corrupt the public morals?

Posted By: Nethie - Mon Jun 01, 2009 - Comments (2)
Category: Crime, Your Daily Jury Duty, Your Daily Loser, Goofs and Screw-ups