Shark Petting

If you're ever in New England and wish to dispose of an unwanted rugrat, consider visiting the Biomes marine education facility here in Rhode Island, and participating in one of their "shark petting" programs.

Shark petting? Shark feeding!

Posted By: Paul - Sat Jun 06, 2009 - Comments (0)
Category: Animals, Death, Museums, Nature, Children

The Most Evil Device Ever?

Have you commited a crime lately? Are you on the run from the law? Be glad you don't have this micro-chip implanted. A Saudi Arabian scientist has filed for a patent for a "killer" tracking device, which would be used to trace fugitives from justice, terrorists, illegal immigrants, criminals, political opponents and more. The chip acts like a DPS tracker, but with the added bonus of being able to inject a deadly poison into anyone that becomes a security risk. The Story.

Posted By: Nethie - Thu May 21, 2009 - Comments (4)
Category: Body Modifications, Crime, Death, Inventions, More Things To Worry About

Dead Weird

In what can only be described as going beyond the spirit of friendly competition, undertaker David Wood stole the keys from a business rival's hearse, when the vehicle was - how you say - "occupied". The funeral of Patricia Thorburn was immediately disrupted as the car she had requested to be carried in, a 1968 Rolls Royce Phantom, was too heavy to push. Finally the car's owner, funeral director Joel Kerr, resorted to tearing out the walnut dashboard and hot-wiring the engine (BBC News).

Also in the UK, life-long bike fan Stuart McIntyre got his last wish in April, when friends built him a special "side-car hearse" so that he could take his final journey in the manner he had taken so many previous ones (Craven Herald).

Apparently, bike hearses are all the rage right now. Jay Howard of "Hometown Hearse" in Battle Creek has also recently added one to his line-up (WZZM13).

In fact, hearses seem to be so popular nowadays some people can't wait for the inevitable to take a ride in one. Certainly Sammy Townsley of Perthshire in Scotland was in a bit of a hurry, having stolen the hearse in the early morning hours, Townsley lost control of the car at high speed minutes later and crashed it into a telegraph pole (Perthshire Advertiser).

Finally, if you're up that way, the Montreal "Musée de Château Dufresne" is hosting an exhibition on the subject of death, funerals and their accoutrements; surely the perfect family day out. Called Celebrating the Dead: A Living Heritage, the exhibition is there till the end of August (Château Dufresne).

Posted By: Dumbfounded - Thu May 14, 2009 - Comments (11)
Category: Boredom, Death, Museums, Stupid Criminals

Beware the Worm Lizard!

Every day the news brings me reports of some horrible locale outside my safe and beloved New England, where people are subject to floods, volcanoes, earthquakes--and "worm lizards"...?!?

Yes, it's not bad enough that the poor citizens of a certain region in Brazil have to battle flooding, they also have to contend with the evil Worm Lizard!

You can read about their troubles here. The key sentence:

Like 218,000 others across a swath of northern Brazil three times the size of Alaska, the neighbors have fled the worst rainfall and flooding in decades, braving newly formed rivers teeming with anacondas, alligators and legless reptiles known as "worm lizards" whose bite is excruciating.

Posted By: Paul - Sun May 10, 2009 - Comments (3)
Category: Animals, Death, Destruction, Disasters, Horror, South America, Natural Wonders, Weather

Your Daily Loser & Jury Duty for May 9th

Your Daily Loser - Where's the best place to teach someone to drive? A smooth, flat stretch of road without a lot of cars would be nice, right? And nevermind if that stretch of road has planes taking off and landing on it... they'll be sure to get out of the way. The son of the airport's manager decided to give his girlfriend a driving lesson. On the runway. His father has since been suspended. The Story.

Jury Duty - And you thought Post-It Notes were harmless... truth is, they are accessories to evil. Walter Healey of Troy, New York, used his Post-Its to record the social security numbers of the thousands of people he planned to abuse for his identity theft scheme. It's bad enough that Healey worked for the state's Tax Department. But I guess that was just good training for his future misconduct. The Story. // The Mugshot. (Healey's in the middle.)

Posted By: Nethie - Sat May 09, 2009 - Comments (1)
Category: Death, Your Daily Jury Duty, Your Daily Loser, Goofs and Screw-ups

Too Much Of A Good Thing

You may have heard the warnings that people become more depressed in the winter months because of a lack of sunlight. Now researchers are saying that too much sunlight can be just as bad. The study shows that a lack of sleep is the real culprit. It all comes down to maintaining your circadian rhythm. You can read more about the sunlight issue here, and you can find out what a circadian rhythm is here.

Posted By: Nethie - Sat May 09, 2009 - Comments (2)
Category: Death, Health, Nature, Science, Sleep and Dreams

Midwest Division’s Friday Feast

Turtle Huntin’; Batesville, Ind.: Turtle Huntin’ offers you “the ultimate outdoor adventure,” through guided turtle hunting instruction and hunts. You can read all about turtle hunting at their website, but for a “minor charge” you too can turtle hunt like the pros. Turtle Huntin' Link fixed 2333 May, 9, 2009.

Garbage Clocks; Evanston, Ill: An Evanston man has been featured by CBS Sunday Morning and Thrillist for his clocks made out of garage sale junk. His clocks are available for purchase on Etsy. Thrillist

131 Years of Prayer; La Crosse, Wisc: At the Adoration Chapel of the Franciscan Sisters of Perpetual Adoration in La Crosse, Wisconsin; the Sisters have prayed at a consecrated host, the Holy Eucharist, for the past 131 years. Since 1878 the Sisters have prayed at the Holy Eucharist in shifts around the clock. Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

11 Year Old Steals Car; St. Cloud, Minn.: An 11 year old was arrested in St. Cloud Minnesota for stealing a car in Waite Park, Minnesota and driving it to the next town. Charges are pending. WCCO

Shoplifter Wrote Address On Job App; Dayton, Ohio: A man shoplifting at a clothing store filled out a job application with his real address before he left and set off the alarms. Chicago Tribune via the Associated Press.

Another BB Gun Robbery, Deadly; Chicago Ill: Ernesto Garcia decided to use a BB gun to rob a gas station. The weapon looked like a real handgun. So, one can assume that the police thought it was real when he refused to put it down. Garcia was shot eight times by the Chicago Police Officer. Garcia was a suspect in 25 other robberies. Chicago Tribune

Posted By: chris_cantwell - Fri May 08, 2009 - Comments (3)
Category: Boredom, Cops, Crime, Death, Guns, Religion

Your Daily Loser & Jury Duty for May 7th

Your Daily Loser - Ishmael Makone of Johannesburg, South Africa, paid the ultimate price for his stupidity. Apparently noone bothered to warn Makone that it's a really bad idea to be underneath the structure you're trying to tear down, even though the article claims dozens of witnesses had been watching him for days and worrying about his safety.

Jury Duty - This has to be the happiest drunk guy to ever end up in jail. Chris Carter of St. Petersburg, Florida, doesn't seem to mind that he was cited for violating his parole, driving under the influence and holding an open container of alcohol. The Mugshot.

Posted By: Nethie - Thu May 07, 2009 - Comments (10)
Category: Death, Your Daily Jury Duty, Your Daily Loser, Alcohol, Goofs and Screw-ups

Midwest Crime Round Up

Out of Work Teachers Sell Meth; South Bend, Ind: Twin sisters and out of work school teachers, Maria and Michelle Stancati, have plead guilty to dealing methamphetamine within 1,000 feet of a school. Indy Star

Ex-Public Defender Busted in Child Sex Internet Sting; Marion County, Ind: Ryan W. Snyder, former Marion County Public Defender, was caught in an internet sex sting in February 2008. He has been sentenced to two years in prison. Indy Star

Three Arrested in BB Gun Home Invasion; Wauwatosa, Wisc: Three high school students were arrested in a home invasion after demanding $1,200 at gunpoint. The suspect with the weapon brandished what looked like a handgun, but was really a BB gun. Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Teen Declines Sex for Money, Utilities Shut Off; Chicago, Ill: A West Side teen was solicited for sex for money by her landlord. When she turned him down, he shut off the gas and electric. He now faces charges for interfering with a public utility. Chicago Breaking News

Driver Painting Nails Kills Motorcyclist; Lake Zurich, Ill: According the News Sun Sun Times News Group, Laura Hunt of Morris IL, “told police that she was painting her fingernails and did not notice the light was red.” According to one Officer her vehicle knocked the victim "a couple hundred feet." Sun Times News Group

Posted By: chris_cantwell - Wed May 06, 2009 - Comments (1)
Category: Addictions, Crime, Death, Drugs, Law, Weapons

Monkey Steals the Peach

"Monkey steals the peach" is apparently what ninjas call this move, but I think Chuck has covered cases in which amateurs have performed similar feats purely by accident.

The illustration is from the book Ninja Mind Control by Ashida Kim. (According to Boing Boing which posted about this a couple of years ago.)

Posted By: Alex - Mon Apr 27, 2009 - Comments (13)
Category: Death, Genitals