Roadside Resort offers a collection of cemeteries located in parking lots: patches of grass in seas of asphalt. I believe in every case the cemetery predates the parking lot. The graves simply had the misfortune of being surrounded by strip malls.
What image could possibly be great enough for our milestone fiftieth installment? Only this one!
At one time, during either the seventies or the eighties, I believe, this campaign was ubiquitous. I would run across OJ and his boots in every issue of Playboy I intended to cut up for collages, whereupon I would promptly rip out the page intact and mail it to a friend. That's why I had to find a scan on eBay, for this post, and can't tell you the exact provenance of the advertisement.
Of course, today we laugh because of OJ's appearance. "So that's how he was able to escape so fast after the murders! He deployed his third leg!"
But consider the campaign even without OJ.
First you get the off-color allusion to "third leg = penis." Then you get the Addams-Family-style associations of "Our boots are worn by mutants and freaks."
Hate to break the news to everyone, but Santa Claus died on December 23, 1985 of congestive heart failure. Santa was born in 1927 with the name Leroy Scholtz. He grew up to become the most dedicated mall Santa of all time. He liked the job so much that in 1980 he legally changed his name to Santa C. Claus. FindaDeath.com has a copy of his 1985 death certificate.
Rudolph the Reindeer is also dead. He died of shock in 2005 when two F-16s from the Danish Air Force flew overhead. I assure you, this is a true story.
Along similar lines, I like this 1993 headline from the Dallas Morning News: "Funeral home inviting kids to come visit Santa." The article explains that the funeral home director, Dan Hiett, came up with the idea of inviting kids to sit on Santa's lap in the foyer of the funeral home because "Not every child has the opportunity to go to the mall."
On February 4, 1912 Franz Reichelt fell to his death from the Eiffel Tower. From Wikipedia:
Reichelt, known as the flying tailor, designed an overcoat to fly or float its wearer gently to the ground like the modern parachute. To demonstrate his invention he made a jump of 60 meters from the first deck of the Eiffel Tower, at that time the tallest man-made structure in the world. The parachute failed and Reichelt fell to his death. The jump was recorded by the cameras of the gathered press.
Of course you recall the baseball great, Ted Williams. Decapitated after death and head frozen, once the family quit squabbling in public...?
Well, now many of his possessions are up for sale at auction, including, ironically, a number of severed animal-head trophies. And also some fine "space alien" paintings and drawings by daughter Claudia, like the one at right.
We've been alerted to the serial killer in Japan who's taking revenge for corporate fraud, as described in this article in today's NY TIMES. But what no one seems to have noticed is that we've already seen this scenario in a film. THE BAD SLEEP WELL is one of Akira Kurosawa's masterpieces, and details how a man whose father was killed by corrupt businessmen exacts his revenge. Here's the excellent trailer.
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.