That staple of the “and finally” news item is under threat in the UK today, after a local council handed down an £80 ($130) fine to the owner of a skateboarding dog.
Jonathan Fell of Brighton, England says that his Lakeland Terrier, called Bodhi, likes nothing more than riding his board round the town’s streets, but in doing so he is violating local by-laws that insist all dogs must be kept on a leash. Previously, the council has threatened Fell with an ASBO (a civil restraining order) for failing to control his pet, now he has 14 days to pay the fine or face a court appearance and a potentially much larger fine (Newslite).
I bought this postcard yesterday. The back informs us that the dog is named "Husky" and hails from the Lone Pine Sanctuary in Queensland, Australia. Or did live there these many decades gone by.
I'm not sure this is a good use of spare time and the use of the energy of the dogs. I think we hear what we want to hear, but it really does sound like these three dogs are saying they love their mommas.
If we can get them to dial the phone and then order pizza, I'd buy a talking dog. I think there may be a government grant in here somewhere.
A New York jeweller briefly owned the world’s most valuable pet earlier this year when his golden retriever swallowed a $20,000 diamond by mistake. Sollie, the dog, had accompanied his owner George Kaufman to the latter’s jewellery shop where Mr. Kaufman and his partner were intending to inspect some gemstones. Unfortunately a diamond weighing 3 carats fell to the floor where it was immediately snatched up by Sollie and swallowed. After a vet recommended that nature be allowed to take its course, Kaufman spent the next three days carefully collecting and dissecting everything Sollie produced before finally retrieving the gem (Telegraph).
Perhaps he should have contacted Ireland’s first official dog-waste removal company, Mr. Scoopy-Poo. The brainchild of Irish entrepreneur William O’Brian, Mr. Scoopy-Poo (motto, “Business stinks – but it’s picking up!”) will clean up after your dirty dogs into biodegradable bags and hygienically dispose of them, for a price of course. After all, where there’s muck there’s brass, and occasionally diamonds (Irish Examiner).
But O’Brian may be missing a trick here, why dispose of faeces when you could be selling it as the latest must have fashion item? What sounds like insanity may be an idea whose time has come. How else can you explain not one but two manure-based products in the same week?
First up is London based artist and designer INSA, who has produced a pair of 10” stilettos incorporating elephant dung. And this isn’t just dung from any old elephant either, this is dung from the very same elephant family that produced the infamous extra ingredient for a series of paintings made by artist Chris Ofili in the 90s. Yup, in these shoes you are literally standing on celebrity elephant dung (Huffington Post).
And hot on the precipitous heels of INSA is Geneva based watchmaker Yvan Arpa, who has crafted his latest $11,000 wrist-candy from toad skin and dinosaur doo. The watches, to be made and sold by Swiss watchmakers Artya, feature a face cut from a 100 million year-old “coprolite”, or fossil faeces, left behind by an ancient plant-eater in what is now the United States. And the quality American materials don’t just amount to a pretty face as the strap is lovingly crafted from the hide of an American cane toad. The mechanism though is pure Swiss craftsmanship (Star Tribune).
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.