Smoke if you want to, even though you wear an influenza mask. Corn plasters fitted to the mask, inside and out, supply the necessary hole.

"Disco felon"... was reported to NEJM by Frederick W. Walker and other doctors at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore in July 1979. "A 17-year-old girl came to the emergency room complaining of an infected finger," they wrote. "Physical examination showed... a classic felon [a painful inflammation of the finger, usually near the fingernail] of the left middle finger... the patient had noticed a small crack on her finger... She thought that the crack might have resulted from snapping her fingers while she was disco dancing..."

The doctors treated the girl by draining and bandaging the inflammation. She recovered, but Walker and his associates sounded a dire warning to other disco dancers and their doctors. "Disco dancing may eventually be shown to damage a variety of body systems: namely visual, auditory, orthopedic, and nutritional. [Nutritional] damage might result from self-imposed starvation in an attempt... to wear the latest outfits."

Somers' patients take the powder by sniffing it through a straw or chewing it on a piece of cotton. They take about four doses of 100 milligrams each day, but the frequency is later reduced.

The California licensing board told The Oklahoman... that Somers was placed on probation in 1980 for addiction to demerol and cocaine; that he later was paroled but was placed on probation again in 1984 for 10 years for violating terms of that probation. A complaint signed by the California agency chairman states that Somers was examined by psychiatrists and found to be suffering from a psychosis; that he treated patients with a mixture of cocaine and hydrochloride and that he "manifested a sincere belief in the value of his treatments with cocaine."

HiccAway can instantly stop hiccups by generating enough pressure while sipping from the device to lower the diaphragm while simultaneously activating the leaf-shaped flap in the throat, known as the epiglottis. Doing this stimulates two key nerves, the phrenic and the vagus nerves, which are responsible for the hiccups. This allows the brain to reset and stop hiccups.

For many years, doctors only had one remedy of last resort to offer those suffering from hiccups — to crush the phrenic nerve. This procedure was done on the theory that irritation of this nerve was causing the hiccups.

But in the second half of the 20th century, researchers stumbled upon some less-invasive, but definitely odd, hiccup cures.

The first of these was reported by Dr. Erminio Cardi of Rhode Island in an August 1961 issue of the New England Journal of Medicine. Dr. Cardi had discovered that he was able to cure the hiccups of several patients simply by using a cotton swab to manipulate a hair in their external ear canal. He confessed that this treatment was "seemingly unorthodox," but it worked. He theorized that it did so because the hair had been irritating a nerve that triggered the hiccup response.

And if examination of the ear revealed no hair irritant? No problem. In that case "twirl a stick tipped with cocaine-soaked cotton in the ear," instructed the doctor.

Nowadays doctors are more likely to use lidocaine than cocaine, but the principle remains the same.

The second cure is even more unorthodox, but again, it seems to work. In an August 1988 issue of the Annals of Emergency Medicine, Dr. Francis Fesmire of Jacksonville, Florida reported that a "digital rectal massage" (aka a finger up the bum) had unexpectedly cured a patient of hiccups. Fesmire didn't record what inspired him to think of this technique, but the reason why it worked, he suggested, was similar to the ear method — because it calmed an overactive nerve. Several other doctors have subsequently reported success using this technique.

Cigarets should never be taxed in Ohio. When I was a boy, Joe and I used to go swimming in Willow Creek together. Now he thinks cigarets should be taxed. Sometimes I believe that Joe doesn't realize how hard it is to be a truck driver in Columbus. But I am not getting any better. The radio seemed nice last night although truck driving wasn't mentioned. We will take the whole thing up when we get home, but I'm not getting any better, do you think?