Category:
Holidays

The Gifts of the Magi As An Embalming Kit

Since I attended a church-run high school, I had to sit through plenty of Bible classes as a teenager, but never once in any of those lessons did I hear the theory that the gifts of the Magi (gold, frankincense, and myrrh) were actually meant as an embalming kit. I have no idea if this explanation of the gifts's meaning is widely accepted among scholars, but it struck me as weird, in an interesting way. From SFGate.com:

The Magi brought gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh - odd gifts to give a newborn, but rife with symbolic meaning, for those three elements are related to the funeral and burial of corpses.

A long-standing tradition, dating back to the ancient Greeks, involved placing one gold coin on each eye of the dead, so that his or her soul would have the boat fare to cross the River Styx, that is, pass from the land of the living into the land of the dead.

Frankincense, the scent found in Catholic and Orthodox churches around the world, is a meditative aid, but is also burned in abundance around bodies before burial to cover any unpleasant odors.

Myrrh was an embalming ointment used until the 15th century to dress bodies before funerals. It is also known as "holy oil," and is still used in traditional Eastern Orthodox burial ceremonies. Myrrh, mixed with wine, also would be offered to Jesus before his crucifixion, as this was an intoxicant, which would have made him less susceptible to pain. The gifts of the Magi at Jesus' birth were all in anticipation of his death...

So, as you open your gifts this Christmas morning, think back to the very first Christmas presents. Aunt Flora's pink-and-brown knit tie may not be quite what you were hoping for, but it's a good deal cheerier than an embalming kit.

Posted By: Alex - Wed Dec 26, 2012 - Comments (4)
Category: Death, Holidays

Merry Xmas!

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Posted By: Paul - Tue Dec 25, 2012 - Comments (0)
Category: Holidays, 1930s, Comedians

Have a Merry Weird Christmas!


The image comes from December, 1975:

Posted By: Alex - Tue Dec 25, 2012 - Comments (2)
Category: Holidays

Virginia O’Hanlon, Santa Claus Skeptic

Virginia O'Hanlon is famous as the young girl who wrote a letter to the New York Sun in 1897 asking if Santa Claus was real, prompting a reply from Francis P. Church, "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus." But you have to feel a bit sorry for O'Hanlon, because almost every year after that, until she died in 1971, reporters sought her out to do follow-ups to find out if she still believed in Santa Claus. It must have been frustrating to be asked the same question, year after year.

O'Hanlon as a young girl

O'Hanlon was always very gracious about the repetitive questioning, (seems like she was a very nice lady), and would say that of course she believed in Santa Claus — except for 1935 when she must have been in a dark mood, because in that year she came close to saying that she no longer believed. She told a reporter:

I still keep my faith in the ultimate kindness of human nature, but how can I, or anyone, believe in the Santa I knew as a child when today there is so much misery and suffering in the world?

If Santa lives today, he lives only in the childish joy of those he has made happy. How can he live in the crying hearts of those he has forsaken? Little children, such as I was, trust in Santa Claus as a miraculous munificence through which all things are made possible. There will be a tree, there will be loved ones about, gaiety and cherished toys that have been dreamt about for months.

Those whom Santa visits think of Christmas as a beautiful, sacred occasion which it should be — but today seldom is. But for every child tucked into bed Christmas night with his new toy, there are hundreds, no thousands, who huddle in ragged bed clothing sobbing in the night at a fate at best cruel.




In subsequent years she returned to giving simpler, more upbeat answers. The clip below shows her on the Perry Como show in 1960.


And here she is in 1966, looking slightly frazzled. Perhaps the questioning was finally getting to her.

Posted By: Alex - Mon Dec 24, 2012 - Comments (4)
Category: Customs, Holidays

The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot



What!?! A bummer Christmas song with no happy ending?!? "Last year's broken toys..." Pathetic!

Posted By: Paul - Fri Dec 21, 2012 - Comments (3)
Category: Holidays, Tragedy and Pathos, Children, 1930s, Fictional Monsters, Sadness

Deputy Scrooge McTicket

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Police in Wichita, Kansas act like Scrooge, giving the man who decked out his truck in Christmas lights a $274 fine. He says he will keep the lights, local police say he will keep getting tickets. Bah humbug!

Posted By: Alex - Fri Dec 14, 2012 - Comments (3)
Category: Holidays

The Ballad of the Harp Weaver



If anyone can explain to me what the hell this song is about, its logic and mythical allegory, and why it was included on Johnny Cash's Xmas album The Christmas Spirit, I'd be grateful. Any easy answers regarding too much drug and/or booze consumption by Cash will be rejected as too facile.



Posted By: Paul - Fri Dec 14, 2012 - Comments (14)
Category: Drugs, Holidays, Ineptness, Crudity, Talentlessness, Kitsch, and Bad Art, Children, Parents, 1970s

Oh Christmas Tree

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Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, golden are thy branches! Bet they paid more to Disney in licencing fees than for the gold.

Posted By: Alex - Sun Nov 25, 2012 - Comments (5)
Category: Holidays

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Posted By: Paul - Thu Nov 22, 2012 - Comments (8)
Category: Holidays

Happy 4th of July!

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Posted By: Paul - Wed Jul 04, 2012 - Comments (4)
Category: Fireworks and Pyrotechnics, Holidays

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Who We Are
Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes.

Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

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