Category:
Patents

Dermal Steaming Apparatus for the Head

Full patent here.







Posted By: Paul - Wed Feb 22, 2023 - Comments (0)
Category: Hygiene, Patents, 1900s

Chess Football

Patent No. 5558335. Pretty much like regular chess, but inside a simulated football stadium.

Posted By: Alex - Sun Feb 12, 2023 - Comments (2)
Category: Sports, Patents

Trick Bass Viol

I would have enjoyed seeing the dogs emerge from the viol itself, but--as I interpret the patent--they are in the box at the base of the instrument. Still, a musical instrument filled with beer is also acceptable.

Original patent here.





Posted By: Paul - Mon Feb 06, 2023 - Comments (1)
Category: Magic and Illusions and Sleight of Hand, Music, Patents, Dogs, 1900s, Alcohol

Shoes with Hinged Soles

There must be a good reason why, for millennia now, all shoes have come with unibody-construction soles. But Robert M. Lyden thought differently.

Full patent here.







Posted By: Paul - Tue Jan 17, 2023 - Comments (4)
Category: Body, Inventions, Patents, Shoes, 1990s

Mammiform and Protector

In 1864, Eleanor Marshall was granted Patent No. 43,321 for her "mammiform breast-protectors." From her patent:

Be it known that I, E.M. Marshall, of Hillsdale, Columbia county, in the State of New York, have invented, made, and applied to use a new and improved article for ladies' wear, which I term a "Mammiform and Protector"...

My improved mammiform and protector is formed of wire wound upon these formers, forming two springs, AA, connected together as shown, and being as similar as possible to the natural breasts. These springs AA may be separated and used singly when desired...

My improved mammiform and protector, being thus constructed, will be found to possess the following advantages: light, flexible, and covering the natural breasts without depressing them, and serving to protect them, and yet the springs of my mammiform and protector may be pressed together or onto the natural breasts, or in any other direction, and when relieved from such pressure resume their natural position and save the wearer the relaxing and debilitating effects of pads, answering all the purposes of a protector, and always presenting a natural appearance.

With springs like that, if a woman accidentally fell forward she'd bounce right back up.

Posted By: Alex - Thu Dec 29, 2022 - Comments (4)
Category: Patents, Underwear, Nineteenth Century

Santa Claus Foot

Ian Allison of Santa Rosa received a design patent in 2002 for his "Santa Claus Foot." I assume the foot is supposed to be hung inside a fireplace — the patent description doesn't specify. Though having Santa's severed leg hung beside the tree might add some Christmas cheer.

Posted By: Alex - Wed Dec 14, 2022 - Comments (2)
Category: Patents, Christmas

Hair Coloring Calculator

Pity the poor inventor of the 1980s, who had a notion for something not supported by the clunky digital tech of that era. This elaborate device is today just a free app.

Full patent here.



Posted By: Paul - Fri Nov 25, 2022 - Comments (0)
Category: Inventions, Patents, 1980s, Hair and Hairstyling

Thanksgiving Hair Tonic Cocktail

In 1909, Friedrich Wilhelm Emil Müller of Chicago received a patent for a hair tonic that, so he claimed, would cause hair "to grow on bald spots of the head." All you had to do was thoroughly rub it into the scalp with the tips of the fingers several times a day.

The tonic struck some at the patent office as sounding quite tasty. So it was served as an aperitif at the 1936 Thanksgiving-week banquet in Washington DC celebrating 100 years of the American patent system.



Tacoma News Tribune - Nov 24, 1936

Posted By: Alex - Thu Nov 24, 2022 - Comments (2)
Category: Inebriation and Intoxicants, Patents, Thanksgiving, Hair and Hairstyling, Alcohol

Breakaway Stethoscope

Joshua Allen Stivers of Puyallup, WA recently received a patent for a "breakaway stethoscope." It works like a normal stethoscope, but breaks apart if someone tries to use it as a garrote to strangle a person:

Medical staff, such as doctors, nurses and technicians, are often required to deal with unruly and/or aggressive patients that may become violent and cause injury to themselves or others. Medical staff also often carry and wear a stethoscope while working and tend to rest the stethoscope around the neck and on the shoulders when not in use. Unfortunately, violent patients may see that as an opportunity to harm the doctor, nurse or technician by grabbing the stethoscope that is resting on the wearer's neck and strangle or injure the wearer and in some cases cause death. Thus, there is a need for a breakaway stethoscope that will separate into two or more pieces when forcefully pulled on or forcefully wrapped around a doctor's, nurse's, or technician's throat to prevent injury or death to the doctor, nurse or technician.


A quick google search reveals that stethoscopes become weapons disturbingly often. So it's kind of surprising that breakaway ones aren't already standard issue.

Derby Evening Telegraph - Aug 9, 1948



via Jeff Steck

Posted By: Alex - Thu Nov 17, 2022 - Comments (3)
Category: Crime, Medicine, Patents, Weapons

Circular Boxing Rings

In 1975, Marvin Jenson received a patent (No. 3,876,197) for a circular boxing ring. As he noted in his patent, a circular ring is safer than a square one due to the lack of corners:

Many times during a boxing contest one of the contestants will be trapped in a corner and is unable to escape the ensuing onslaught of his opponent. This may result not only in a serious physical injury to the trapped fighter, but also detracts from the art and skills of the sport.

In a newspaper interview, Jenson further explained that the idea for the round boxing ring had occurred to him after watching the 1961 fight between Benny Paret and Emile Griffith, during which Paret got trapped in a corner and took such a beating that he fell into a coma and died.

Jenson's patent drawing



Jenson's circular ring in use
Jordan Valley Sentinel - June 10, 1976



Jenson was hardly the first person to come up with the idea of a circular boxing ring. The idea has been around for a long time. In fact, way back when fighters used to compete in circles drawn on the ground, which is why boxing rings came to be referred to as 'rings' in the first place, rather than 'squares'.

So how did boxing rings end up being square and continue to be so?

As far as I can tell, it's mostly a matter of convenience. It's easier to string rope in a straight line rather than a circle.

An earlier attempt at a circular ring
Newsweek - May 8, 1944

Posted By: Alex - Thu Oct 27, 2022 - Comments (2)
Category: Sports, Martial Arts, Patents

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Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes.

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