Category:
Patents

Goat-mobile

Not only bucks, but bleats! The inventor's predilection for a goat figure definitely NOT Satanic!

Full patent here.




Posted By: Paul - Sat Oct 22, 2022 - Comments (3)
Category: Animals, Bicycles and Other Human-powered Vehicles, Inventions, Patents, Toys, Nineteenth Century

Louis Duprey’s Trapdoor Theater Seats

One of the minor annoyances of going to a theater is having your view blocked if someone in front of you gets up from their seat. Or having to stand from your seat to let someone get by.

Back in 1924, Louis Duprey patented a solution to this problem. He envisioned a theater in which guests would enter through a subchamber, get into their seats, and then be raised upwards by a hydraulic lift, through a trapdoor, into the theater itself. Anyone who wanted to leave early could simply lower themself back down, disturbing no one else.

It's an over-engineered solution to a minor problem, but I would happily pay extra, at least once, to experience a theater like this. Though I'd probably spend the entire time going up and down in my chair.

More info: Patent No. 1,517,774
Related Posts: Thomas Curtis Gray's horizontal theater, Theater in a Whale, Lloyd Brown's Globe Theater





via New Scientist

Posted By: Alex - Thu Oct 20, 2022 - Comments (6)
Category: Architecture, Entertainment, Theater and Stage, Patents, 1920s

Apparatus for secretly recording the reading behaviour of a person

Herbert Wettig's patent (granted by the UK patent office in 1971 — GB1241156) details how to hide a television camera in a light fixture for the purpose of "secretly recording the reading behaviour of a person unbeknowst to him."

Why would someone want to do this? Apparently for marketing research.

For example, advertisements were tested in this way to discover if they were noticed at all, how much attention they attracted in comparison with other advertisements, how great the spontaneous interest in the advertisement is, how the reader's gaze moves between the various elements of the advertisement, whether he reads the text as well, how long he looks at the advertisement.

Wettig noted that researchers had previously been doing this in specially designed test rooms. The advantage of his invention, he said, was that it was easily transportable and could be set up discreetly in many different places without arousing suspicion. I'm assuming he's talking about spying on library patrons, since libraries are the most obvious place where people spend a lot of time in public reading.

Posted By: Alex - Thu Oct 06, 2022 - Comments (2)
Category: Patents

Combined coat hanger and musical instrument

I wonder if Louis Jacobs thought he was going to strike it rich when he came up with his idea for a "combined hanger and musical instrument." From his 1918 patent:

Be it known that I, Louis Jacobs, a citizen of the United States, residing at San Francisco, in the county of San Francisco and State of California, have invented new and useful Improvements in Combined Hangers and Musical Instruments, of which the following is a specification.

The object of the present invention is to provide a device for hanging shoes and other articles, and which can also be used as a musical instrument.




But how did it work as a musical instrument? Again from his patent:

The device may also be used in the following manner as a musical instrument: Thin pieces of paper are placed on opposite sides of the wire screen frame, and the frame, after the paper has been thus placed, is brought up to the mouth and the performer sings, speaks, or hums through the paper. The sound of the voice is first split up through the fine pores in the paper, striking the front side of the wire screen and causing vibrations therein, then passing through the holes to the rear side of the wire screen, again causing vibrations therein, so that the sound of the voice is magnified. Any tone, or tune, or the sound of any instrument or the phonograph can be imitated thereby. The effect of these vibrations on the nerves is soothing and quieting. It is also useful in talking to deaf persons, as the sound can be heard by them much better than the ordinary voice.

I can just imagine Jacobs talking to deaf people through his musical coat hanger.

Posted By: Alex - Sat Sep 17, 2022 - Comments (4)
Category: Music, Patents, 1910s

Dead Bird Decoy Holder

When a wooden or plastic decoy just won't do!

Full patent here.




Posted By: Paul - Mon Sep 12, 2022 - Comments (0)
Category: Animals, Hunting, Trapping and Other Wilderness Activities, Imitations, Forgeries, Rip-offs and Faux, Patents, 1910s

Face mask with simulated nose hairs

Uday Singh of Bloomfield, NJ was recently granted Patent No. 11413194 for a face mask with simulated nose hairs.

The idea is that having openings protected by "filter material" (aka fake nose hairs) will solve the problem of mask fogging.

Singh refers to his invention as "an aesthetically pleasing covering for protecting otherwise exposed nasal and/or other facial surfaces." Based on the picture below, 'aesthetically pleasing' isn't the first term that comes to mind.



via Jeff Steck

Posted By: Alex - Tue Sep 06, 2022 - Comments (2)
Category: Costumes and Masks, Patents

Instant Facelift Device

In 1971, Leah Heale of San Jose, CA was granted Patent No 3,575,165 for this rather uncomfortable looking "facelift device." From the patent:

A facelift device adapted to be worn on the head in a manner that it may be covered by a wig, the facelift device including an anchor portion adapted to be engaged by the ends of a multiplicity of tension members, the other ends of which are selectively secured to the wearer's skin closely adjacent the hairline and in a position to tension the skin to eliminate lines and wrinkles therefrom.



A discussion of it New Scientist magazine (Aug 15, 1974):

Since opportunity has not yet been afforded for scientific examination of a wrinkled lady wearing this face-lifting top-knot, judgement of its efficacy can only be theoretical. But there does seem the psychological danger that its wearers would suffer under the delusion that they were being continually assailed by scalp-hunting Sioux Indians.

And according to researchers in the General Motors laboratories examining the reactions of the human body in accident situations, some expertise may be vital in judging the degree of tension applied to the temple-grippers. The GM people reported that the scalp, notably tough and elastic, can stand forces up to 610 lb per square inch before tissue damage sets in. Facial covering is less resistant and that over the cheekbones shows wear and tear at a load of 208 lb. So tensing the scalp-hackles to anything much over a third of their overhead capacity might well result in the beauty-seeker finding herself instead with her nose coming away at the seams and her ears getting a divorce from her cranium.

And even if all tensilities were precisely adjusted, one cannot banish the feeling that the taut-faced beauty, though smoother-cheeked than any baby's bottom, would have her brows so steeply arched and her eyes so shockingly widened that she would spend her day bearing a look of permanent surprise and with the mien of one who is being externally goosed.

Posted By: Alex - Thu Sep 01, 2022 - Comments (1)
Category: Beauty, Ugliness and Other Aesthetic Issues, Patents, 1970s, Skin and Skin Conditions

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Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes.

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Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

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