I'm sure everyone recalls when Alex revealed to us the Uroclub, a mock golf club allowing the user to discreetly pee through the shaft.
Well, I hope that any golfer who employs both the Uroclub and the Electronic Drink Caddie does not mix them up by mistake, either drinking from the Uroclub or pissing into the Drink Caddie.
For Christmas this year, I received Picturesque Rhode Island, an 1881 guidebook to my native state. I love such antique manuals, as they often hold quaint forgotten information about familiar places.
Merry Christmas! The snowman just burnt the house down.
Hallmark cards has recalled 7000 snowman-shaped snow globes which were acting as magnifying glasses when placed in sunlight and igniting nearby materials. Anyone who owns one of these snow globes is advised to keep it out of the light.
Half Leg
"The only product on the market that allows an individual to ride the ocean waves, jump off a diving board and swim in a pool or just relax in the tub while keeping their arm or leg completely water free."
Choker Loop Mole Trap
"The fast and easy way to rid yard of moles once and for all."
Gender Neutral Patient Peevy Manikin
"A basic training manikin with subcutaneous and intramuscular injection sites in both deltoids, gluteal, ventro-gluteal and both thighs, interchangeable male and female genitalia for catheterization, rectum with colon reservoir for enema simulation, subclavian, jejunostomy and Hickman openings for placement."
21' Preferred (All Aluminum) Bleachers
"There may be an up-charge of $45 charged by the freight line for shipping to a residential address (needing a lift gate on the truck, taking the product off the truck, putting it inside a house, or taking it up a flight of stairs, etc.)"
Auto Parts Store
"A classic profitable store with experienced people who want to stay. owner will train buyer."
Stop Eating Poop
"Contains Glutamic Acid to deter dogs from eating their own stool... Peppermint and parsley help to eliminate bad breath."
Weird Universe gets a 10% commission if anyone buys something through these links, though it looks like many of the above products are "currently unavailable." The $12,000 bleachers, however, are in stock. If any one of you buys those, Chuck, Paul, and I will be dining on champagne and caviar this Christmas.
Posted By: Alex - Sun Dec 14, 2008 -
Comments (0)
Category: Products
What image could possibly be great enough for our milestone fiftieth installment? Only this one!
At one time, during either the seventies or the eighties, I believe, this campaign was ubiquitous. I would run across OJ and his boots in every issue of Playboy I intended to cut up for collages, whereupon I would promptly rip out the page intact and mail it to a friend. That's why I had to find a scan on eBay, for this post, and can't tell you the exact provenance of the advertisement.
Of course, today we laugh because of OJ's appearance. "So that's how he was able to escape so fast after the murders! He deployed his third leg!"
But consider the campaign even without OJ.
First you get the off-color allusion to "third leg = penis." Then you get the Addams-Family-style associations of "Our boots are worn by mutants and freaks."
Shaft collars have been used on applications from holding up a flag on a flag pole, to positioning devices on medical equipment to the more common industrial applications of holding other shaft components such as bearings, sprockets and pulleys in place.
If you need some shaft clamping collars, consider buying them from Climax Metal Products. Their customers say, "You always have it in stock even on the odd sizes."
I'm not going to make a joke about male chastity belts, or anything like that. via
If you wear one of our sweaters, you'll look like a ridiculous chimp.
"Me Retailer, you Jerk!"
ADDENDUM: Reader Vern notes that the text ridicules the chimp as wearing an older, out-of-style sweater, while the man sports the manufacturer's sleek new model. That's a good point. Nonetheless, how convincing is the comparison, when the human's rival is a monkey?
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.