Weird Universe Gift Guide

There's still time to do some last-minute Christmas shopping. So here's a few gift ideas, all available from Amazon:

Gun Egg Fryer
Gun-shaped stainless steel egg mold.


Half Leg
"The only product on the market that allows an individual to ride the ocean waves, jump off a diving board and swim in a pool or just relax in the tub while keeping their arm or leg completely water free."


Choker Loop Mole Trap
"The fast and easy way to rid yard of moles once and for all."


Gender Neutral Patient Peevy Manikin
"A basic training manikin with subcutaneous and intramuscular injection sites in both deltoids, gluteal, ventro-gluteal and both thighs, interchangeable male and female genitalia for catheterization, rectum with colon reservoir for enema simulation, subclavian, jejunostomy and Hickman openings for placement."


21' Preferred (All Aluminum) Bleachers
"There may be an up-charge of $45 charged by the freight line for shipping to a residential address (needing a lift gate on the truck, taking the product off the truck, putting it inside a house, or taking it up a flight of stairs, etc.)"


Auto Parts Store
"A classic profitable store with experienced people who want to stay. owner will train buyer."


Stop Eating Poop
"Contains Glutamic Acid to deter dogs from eating their own stool... Peppermint and parsley help to eliminate bad breath."


Sugar Free Chocolate Dipped Pork Rinds
"They're sweet with a hint of saltiness and crunchy all wrapped up in one!"


Red and green adult elf tights
"Complete your elf costume with Elf Tights."


Weird Universe gets a 10% commission if anyone buys something through these links, though it looks like many of the above products are "currently unavailable." The $12,000 bleachers, however, are in stock. If any one of you buys those, Chuck, Paul, and I will be dining on champagne and caviar this Christmas.