Weird Science – Invention Is The Mother Of Necessity

Build a better mousetrap, it is said, and the world will beat a path to your door. The implication being that there are some problems which are just crying out for a solution. And then there are the solutions crying out for a problem - those inventions that, while inspired, are just a tad “out there”. It is this later category I shall be celebrating today.

First up, how clean is your cow? This age old problem has nagged at the minds of farmers down the ages, are their cows clean enough? And why isn’t there an easier way to clean cows? Well these merchants of the soil need worry no more thanks to a Swedish company that has developed the fully automated “cow wash”. Supposedly improving the health and yield of cows that use it, the cow wash uses a free swinging revolving brush to groom the cows while simultaneously stimulating their circulation. Apparently the cows enjoy using it and the makers DeLaval have sold over 30,000 in Sweden alone (Daily Mail).

Bigwigs in the US military will also soon be able to sleep sounder in the knowledge that the men under their command are safely in their underpants. We’re not just talking about any undies though, these have been specially designed by University of California professor Joseph Wang. Not only will his techno-trunks monitor the vitals of the personnel wearing them, they can even administer painkillers or antibiotics as the situation demands (Post Chronicle).

And if your pants don’t save you, at least your modesty will be preserved when you are taken to hospital, all thanks to the University of Montreal. For it is from that fine establishment’s School of Industrial Design that our next invention hails, a hospital gown that isn’t quite so revealing. The DUO gown is the brainchild of Noemie Marquis and Denyse Roy and consists of two overlapping panels, front and back, that is easy to put on and requires no fasteners making life simpler for both patients and staff (Medical News Today).

Meanwhile British scientists have been working on an altogether sterner cover. Nicknamed “bullet-proof custard” by its inventors, Bristol based BAE systems have developed a liquid armour consisting of layers of Kevlar combined with a secret “shear-thickening” liquid that hardens as force is applied. The company’s eventual aim is to produce lighter, more-flexible body armour for the military (BBC News).

Another surprisingly flexible invention now, one that netted its creator several awards, the bendy-bike. Obviously the bike doesn’t bend when you ride it, that’d be silly, it’s only when you get off that the ability to twist the bike around comes into play, allowing you to store it more conveniently or fold it around a lamppost for security. A case of Lance Armstrong meets Stretch Armstrong surely (Daily Mail).

Of course for some inventions their time has obviously come. Hence the recent unveiling of not one but three beer delivery robots. Yes, Steve Norris of Norris Labs (3News), Jim Gunderson of Gamma Two (IEEE) and California based Willow Garage (CNet) have all recently rolled out their solution to the age old problem that men have faced since time immemorial. Well, the unmarried ones anyway.

More robots now, and in the wake of the Soccer World Cup, I thought I’d highlight the work of a University of Chile team lead by Javier Ruiz-del-Solar who are busy teaching their soccer playing robot how to take a dive. Of course the more serious purpose is to get the robots to fall and recover “gracefully”, only then can they move on to rolling around in mock agony (New Scientist).

But for weirdness, taking a dive has nothing on a robot taking a dump. Engineers from Bristol Robotics Lab in the UK have been working on a robot powered by waste biomass, which is broken down by “microbial fuel cells” to generate electricity and a certain amount of waste “waste” that has to be eliminated. Cue the artificial gut, a digestive tract for robots that uses gravity and peristalsis to squeeze away the remains of its last meal. Called Ecobot-III, it can feed and water itself from special “fuelling points” and relieves itself once a day into a litter tray, though as lab director Chris Melhuish points out, “Diarrhoea-bot would be more appropriate” (New Scientist).

And finally, simply because it is so cool, here is someone who has invented his own musical instrument…