A Little Light Weirdness - 3

Brazilian TV presenter, Wallace Souza, has brought a whole new meaning to the term "hit show", by allegedly arranging the deaths of at least four people to boost the ratings of his mid-day real crime show. Souza, a former policeman and prominent politician, is accused of being behind a criminal drug network with an estimated turnover of $25m a month, while the murder victims were all either partners who had fallen from favour or from rival outfits. Once the hit had been set up, it is claimed Souza would receive a tip-off so that camera crews for his program could reach the scene before even the police (Guardian).

Someone else who may be meeting with an "accident" pretty soon is Ginger the kune-kune pig, who is not in pensioner Anne Moon's best books after swallowing her $2500 dollar diamond engagement ring right off her hand. Mrs. Moon, who had gone to pet the pig just prior to the impromptu a-la-main meal, immediately alerted the pig's owner, farmer Paul Caygill, and hopes to be reunited with the ring given to her 30 years ago once nature takes its course (Fox News).

And while Anne Moon is left hanging around dumb animals, in the Norwegian town of Helgoysund, it is the dumb animals that are hanging around. For it is there that a ram managed to get its horns entangled in one of the town's overhead electric cables, before losing its footing, astonishing onlookers as it subsequently abseiled down the hill towards the next pole. Locals suspect that this may have been caused by an over rambitious attempt to reach the ewes in a lower field, and after the ram was eventually towed back to higher ground and released unharmed, he was allowed access by way of compensation for his ordeal (Daily Mail).

Still on the subject of dumb animals, that is presumably what one Parisian store is hoping to attract with its latest creation, a fusball table populated entirely by Barbies. The "Barbie Foot", by French "concept-store" Colette, uses 22 of the ubiquitous dolls, in contrasting uniforms of pink and white in its limited edition table football game, which it hopes to sell for 10,000 euros, that is $14,000, each (Guardian).

As to what the following has to do with dumb animals, I leave to your imagination. The British Crown Prosecution Service has this week defended its decision to spend £20,000 trying a man for the theft of a 25 pence banana, after the defendant was acquitted of the charges of theft and burglary. Public prosecutor Martin Lindop said "It is not the cost of the item that determines a prosecution," but whether the prosecution "is in the public interest". Banana owners throughout the UK can no doubt sleep soundly in their beds knowing that people like Lindop will spare the British taxpayer no expense in protecting their precious berries from nefarious fruit rustlers (BBC News).

Finally, let's compare and contrast. First up is the German bride who had to be rescued from the back seat of a car where she had spent the previous night, still wearing her wedding dress, in the company of a crate of vodka. Passers-by became worried that she might overheat as temperatures rose and they were unable to rouse her, so alerted the police. The unnamed bride did not even come round when police smashed in the car's windows and rescued her (Reuters).

Now let's consider 84 year-old Palm Beach grandmother Frances Woofenden, who is looking to defend her water-skiing titles this month at the 67th Goode Water Ski National Championships. Woofenden is current holder of the slalom, tricks and overall titles for her age-group and only took the sport up 34 years ago, aged 50, after seeing a young girl do it. Such is her reputation, Frances was recently asked to star in a commercial for V8, in which she naturally did all her own stunts (Sun Sentinal).

(Image from www.firstamendmentcenter.org.)