A Little Light Weirdness – 8

A would be bank-robber in Austria was foiled in his robbery attempt when the bank closed early for a staff training session. The man came equipped with a Barack Obama mask and gun but was stopped at the first hurdle when the locked door refused to open for him. Staff inside initially thought it was part of the training or a joke, and their laughter aggravated the criminal until he eventually fled empty-handed (Digital Spy).

More successful were the thieves that managed to steal several US landmarks, including the Palace of Fine Arts, USS Pampanito and Ghirardelli Square. Models of course, part of an exhibition of Mark and Jannet Benz’s Lego creations on display at the Palo Alto Museum of American Heritage, and worth several thousand dollars. A reward of $500 has been offered by the Benzes (SF Weekly).

But if Jan and Mark are thinking of upping their home security, they should perhaps avoid following the example of Alexander Skopintsew of Primorye in Russia, who decided to deter intruders by planting homemade landmines around his garden. He was inevitably found out when a trespasser was injured when setting off one of these devices, and charged with possession of illegal weapons, receiving a suspended sentence (ABC News).

Of course another alternative might be to have nothing worth stealing. Perhaps something similar occurred to retired lorry driver Ken Strickland, who amassed a collection of over 3000 watering cans, each meticulously documented. Sadly Mr. Strickland died last month aged 78, bequeathing the entire assortment to his niece, who is at a loss as to what to do with them and may in fact sell them on behalf of a charity. One watering can however will not be up for sale, it contains her uncle's ashes (Metro).

Meanwhile hundreds of other women up and down the UK might be feeling a little let down this Monday, after British department store Debenhams recorded a 76% surge in sales of their range of “anatomy boosting” underwear for men ahead of Valentine’s day. Turn around is fair play, I say (Reuters).

Perhaps a bit of mood music would offset the disappointment, so what better time for Billboard to release their list of the 50 sexiest songs of all time. The unexpected winner (based on sales) being Olivia Newton John’s cheesecake-video driven pop ballard Physical (USA Today).

Schadenfreude is not perhaps the most virtuous of emotions, but it is difficult not to feel it about the recent sacking of several officials from Chile’s National Mint. Both director Gregorio Iniguez and Mint official Pedro Urzua were given the push after it was noticed that several thousand coins minted in 2008 had spelled the country’s name wrong, rendering it as Chiie (ABS/CBC).

Equally inept was the prosthetics “expert” who accidentally fitted the wrong limb to a pensioner from West Lothian in the UK, leaving the poor man with literally two left feet. Not only that, but Patrick Morrison’s new artificial foot was also a different size to his real one and gave the pensioner a permanent lean that he at first thought was all part of “breaking-in” the new limb. Prosthetist Malcolm Griffiths has since been struck off by Britain’s health Professions Council for this and ten other complaints (Orange).

Perhaps Mr. Morrison would have been better off with Barbie, who certainly knows a thing or two about plastic. Sadly “prosthetist” is not one of the many careers Barbie has practised down the years, but soon “computer geek” will be. This year’s Barbie models are set to include the nerd-friendly “Computer Engineer Barbie”, and celeb-wannabe pleasing “TV Host Barbie”, adding yet another two strings to the versatile doll’s already bulging bow (News://Lite).

Finally, next time you visit a casino try looking down. Hideous, isn’t it. Well it’s perhaps meant to be, as some people think the thousands of square yards of stunningly garish carpets of Las Vegas are a deliberate policy to keep the punters awake and playing. Make up your own mind with this gallery of the worst of the worsted (Telegraph).

(Image Source: Microsoft Office)