New Use for Baboon Urine
According to NehandaRadio.com, baboon urine is "selling like hot cakes" in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. The place to go to get it is the Bulawayo City Council run toilets at Egodini commuter omnibus terminus.
The source of its appeal is the belief that "a baboon by its nature urinates only on one spot. Even if it travels from Matopo to Bulawayo, when it gets pressed, it will travel all the way to Matopo before it relieves itself."
Therefore, by extension (and because the ancient medical 'principle of similitude' dictates this must be so), if the stuff is applied to a man it will "start regulating his bedding tendencies." That is, it will make him faithful to one woman.
The article goes into details about how this is done. However, one husband found his wife's vial of baboon urine, got mad, and domestic violence ensued.
The source of its appeal is the belief that "a baboon by its nature urinates only on one spot. Even if it travels from Matopo to Bulawayo, when it gets pressed, it will travel all the way to Matopo before it relieves itself."
Therefore, by extension (and because the ancient medical 'principle of similitude' dictates this must be so), if the stuff is applied to a man it will "start regulating his bedding tendencies." That is, it will make him faithful to one woman.
The article goes into details about how this is done. However, one husband found his wife's vial of baboon urine, got mad, and domestic violence ensued.
Comments
Caveat emptor. Does it come with a guarantee?
Posted by BMN on 03/28/14 at 10:12 AM
So if you have a boboon in your zoo you better hope and pray that he will relieve himself there or your transportation bills will bankrupt you.
Posted by crc on 03/28/14 at 10:17 AM
@CRC: Think exploding baboons, much more entertaining.
And, for our students of EFL that are tuning in:
First the husband was pissed-on then he got pissed then, if you're studying the Queen's English, he went out with his mates and got pissed again.
And, for our students of EFL that are tuning in:
First the husband was pissed-on then he got pissed then, if you're studying the Queen's English, he went out with his mates and got pissed again.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 03/28/14 at 11:34 AM
And then, he pissed off home.
I wonder how much of the baboon urine is actual urine from actual baboons. My guess would be somewhere around the amount of actual oil from actual snakes found in snake oil.
I wonder how much of the baboon urine is actual urine from actual baboons. My guess would be somewhere around the amount of actual oil from actual snakes found in snake oil.
Posted by TheCannyScot in Atlanta, GA on 03/28/14 at 11:47 AM
This uncommon language of ours is a real pisser, Scottie.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 03/28/14 at 11:50 AM
According to Google Maps, Matopo to Bulawayo is 50km.
Posted by TheCannyScot in Atlanta, GA on 03/28/14 at 11:50 AM
Golden shower time honey ... ahhhhhh .. WTF is that ???!!!
Posted by BrokeDad in Midwest US on 03/28/14 at 06:46 PM
So if you cheat after the 'treatment' urine trouble, right?
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 03/29/14 at 07:12 PM
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Category: Medicine | Foreign Customs