Beware of Killer Umbrellas

As people enjoy the beach this Fourth of July weekend, the Ocean City Beach Patrol would like to remind everyone to beware of killer umbrellas.

About five years ago (on June 30, 2010), Lynn Stevens was sitting on the beach, minding her own business, when an umbrella came plummeting out of the sky and impaled her leg. Here's her account of the incident:

"It was a very windy day and the umbrella was lifted straight up in the air. It came straight back down and went through my thigh. The pole went into my leg about four inches and it just missed my femoral artery. It didn’t tumble like you see them do so often. Instead, it went straight up and came straight down... It took four men to hold the umbrella steady in the wind to prevent it from doing more damage. They literally sawed off the pole right there on the beach and left about a 12-inch length of the pole sticking out of my leg. They took me to PRMC and the rest of it was taken out in the operating room. It was a little unnerving because the nurses and doctors looked a little astonished to see the umbrella pole sticking out of my leg because I figured they had probably seen everything."

That's pretty terrifying. The worst part is that there's not much you can do to prevent randomly being attacked by an umbrella that falls silently from the sky, because it's other people's umbrellas (improperly set in the sand) that are going to get you. You're at the mercy of their stupidity.

Image source: Nikos Patsiouris, Flickr.

Who We Are
Alex Boese Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes. Paul Di Filippo Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over forty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. Contact Us

Posted By: Alex - Thu Jul 02, 2015
Category: Death | Violence

Comments

This would make a good "B" or even "C" movie, attack of the killer zombie beach umbrellas.

Posted by Gator Guy on 07/02/15 at 03:13 PM

I witnessed this happen about 25 years ago. It must not be all that uncommon.

Posted by Dirk Diggler on 07/02/15 at 04:25 PM

Jellyfish, sharks, umbrellas. No one is safe at the beach. Might just as well stay home.

Posted by KDP on 07/02/15 at 04:46 PM

Since there are 7 billion people against the one me, the odds prove that every scar I've got is their stupidity!

Posted by BMN on 07/02/15 at 04:48 PM

Not to bring doom & gloom to this site but the guns used in that attack in Tunisia last week were carried onto the beach in umbrellas. We were in Ireland when this happened and it was all over the news for days as 2 of the dead were Irish.

So.... Have a great 4th, be safe, and keep a weather eye out for "people" who are out of place.

Oh, yea.... while I'm at it... Send your $$$ as our accounts are down! 😉

Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 07/03/15 at 12:36 AM

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