Cat-Lady Slavemaster, Cell Phone Follies
and the Morning Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Tuesday
"Pussy-Whipped"
was the New York Post hed on its profile of "Goddess Haley," 28, married, and a full-time dominatrix in a Manhattan S&M parlor, with clients paying up to $180/hour. The "pussy" part refers to the cat shelter she runs out of her two-bedroom apartment (30 kitties at a time), all endorsed by the animal health people. "Being a dom is hard work. I've pulled muscles whipping slaves. . . . Once, I was even flogging a slave and realized it was feeding time [for a cat I had brought to work] and had to excuse myself for a few minutes. But [the client] probably liked the neglect." New York Post
Comments 'pussy_whipped'
Worst-case scenario for dropping your cell phone
On a train in France, drop it in the toilet (those super-suction jobs they have on trains), reach in, get hand stuck, nobody can help, have to stop the train for 2 hours, cut away the toilet, carry you off the train on a stretcher with the toilet still attached. BBC News
Comments 'cellphone_toilet'
Your Daily Loser
In the rural Florida panhandle, Mr. Land Ford Jones was charged with domestic assault, and the best defense he could think of for her cuts and bruises was that, hey, she rammed her head into the refrigerator over and over, and what's a poor guy supposed to do? Northwest Florida Daily News
Comments 'landford_jones'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
A choice one from last week's The Smoking Gun collection, with the downside being that TSG never tells what they're charged with (which is perfect for us, because we don't need to know). TheSmokingGun.com
Comments 'jury_081028'
Eyewitness News
[news videos goin' around]
Manuel Uribe, formerly the world's heaviest man at over 1,200 lbs, who has since slimmed down to the upper-600's, got married, and here are the lovely photos and video, like of him heading off to the church wrapped in sheets on a flatbed truck. ABC News /// BBC News (video)
Comments 'video_uribe'
More Things to Worry About on Tuesday
Recurring Theme: It's inevitable, apparently, that the first thing that occurs to anyone who steals a cell phone is to take a picture of himself. Cincinnati Enquirer
Early leader in the running for next year's Nobel in science: brewing beer with a dash of morphine. Associated Press via San Francisco Chronicle
A UK entertainer who says he's been successful soothing tensions in the Palestinian territories said he'll now try with gangs in Glasgow, with his classes in yoga. (Negative bonus: He says it also worked with Amy Winehouse.) Daily Express (London)
A British county police force, which had recently cut back law-enforcement because of a dwindling budget, announced it would fight crime by spending the equivalent of about $55k to alter its logo slightly. Daily Mail
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Tuesday?
Comments 'worry_081028'
Editor's Note
Since Monday is the slowest weekday in news-news, it's also the slowest in weird news. So, once again, I don't have enough stuff I'm thrilled with to post an afternoon set today. See you tomorrow morning.
Today's Newsrangers: Steve Miller, Sandy Pearlman, Kurt Knochel, Jim Pross, Candy Clouston, and many who spotted the hand-toilet story.
"Pussy-Whipped"
was the New York Post hed on its profile of "Goddess Haley," 28, married, and a full-time dominatrix in a Manhattan S&M parlor, with clients paying up to $180/hour. The "pussy" part refers to the cat shelter she runs out of her two-bedroom apartment (30 kitties at a time), all endorsed by the animal health people. "Being a dom is hard work. I've pulled muscles whipping slaves. . . . Once, I was even flogging a slave and realized it was feeding time [for a cat I had brought to work] and had to excuse myself for a few minutes. But [the client] probably liked the neglect." New York Post
Comments 'pussy_whipped'
Worst-case scenario for dropping your cell phone
On a train in France, drop it in the toilet (those super-suction jobs they have on trains), reach in, get hand stuck, nobody can help, have to stop the train for 2 hours, cut away the toilet, carry you off the train on a stretcher with the toilet still attached. BBC News
Comments 'cellphone_toilet'
Your Daily Loser
In the rural Florida panhandle, Mr. Land Ford Jones was charged with domestic assault, and the best defense he could think of for her cuts and bruises was that, hey, she rammed her head into the refrigerator over and over, and what's a poor guy supposed to do? Northwest Florida Daily News
Comments 'landford_jones'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
A choice one from last week's The Smoking Gun collection, with the downside being that TSG never tells what they're charged with (which is perfect for us, because we don't need to know). TheSmokingGun.com
Comments 'jury_081028'
Eyewitness News
[news videos goin' around]
Manuel Uribe, formerly the world's heaviest man at over 1,200 lbs, who has since slimmed down to the upper-600's, got married, and here are the lovely photos and video, like of him heading off to the church wrapped in sheets on a flatbed truck. ABC News /// BBC News (video)
Comments 'video_uribe'
More Things to Worry About on Tuesday
Recurring Theme: It's inevitable, apparently, that the first thing that occurs to anyone who steals a cell phone is to take a picture of himself. Cincinnati Enquirer
Early leader in the running for next year's Nobel in science: brewing beer with a dash of morphine. Associated Press via San Francisco Chronicle
A UK entertainer who says he's been successful soothing tensions in the Palestinian territories said he'll now try with gangs in Glasgow, with his classes in yoga. (Negative bonus: He says it also worked with Amy Winehouse.) Daily Express (London)
A British county police force, which had recently cut back law-enforcement because of a dwindling budget, announced it would fight crime by spending the equivalent of about $55k to alter its logo slightly. Daily Mail
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Tuesday?
Comments 'worry_081028'
Editor's Note
Since Monday is the slowest weekday in news-news, it's also the slowest in weird news. So, once again, I don't have enough stuff I'm thrilled with to post an afternoon set today. See you tomorrow morning.
Today's Newsrangers: Steve Miller, Sandy Pearlman, Kurt Knochel, Jim Pross, Candy Clouston, and many who spotted the hand-toilet story.
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