Chuck’s Hand-Picked Overnight Weird News for Friday
It’s Good to Be a British Prisoner (continuing series)
Abu Qatada, 47, who is said to be Al Qaeda’s “ambassador to Europe” and implicated in London’s 2005 subway bombings, is out now on house arrest. Britain would love to deport him to Jordan but fear he’ll be mistreated there, and that would be against UK law. So for now, he lives in the family homestead in London (said to be worth the equivalent of $1.6M) and receives beaucoup gov’t assistance, such as the equivalent of $300 a week disability for a bad back (which entitles his wife and their four children who are under age 18 to family support of the equivalent of $1,600 a week more) and relief from the annual local tax of the equivalent of about $4,500. Daily Mail (London)
Comments 'abu_qatada'
The legendary Belleville, Ill., sock bandit is back off the wagon
James Dowdy, 36, has demonstrated beyond a reasonable doubt that he is unable to stop stealing women’s socks. He has already done three prison stretches since 1993 for female-sock-based burglaries, and each time he is released, he starts therapy, and it apparently goes fine for a while, until, eventually, he's overcome by socks. Belleville News-Democrat
Comments 'sock_bandit'
Domestic assault or way-incompetent suicider?
Sikeston, Mo., police say Rodger Tillman simply clobbered his wife on the head with a board, and they thus arrested him for assault. Tillman claimed the issue was more, er, nuanced. Bankruptcy loomed; Mr. and Mrs. Tillman were being evicted; they made a suicide pact; she was supposed to go first; he smacked her around with a board; she failed to die and was in pain; he drove her toward the hospital; he improvised a plan B to ram the car into a utility pole to kill them both; the pole fell on the car with barely an additional scratch to the occupants; he proceeded on to the hospital. Southeast Missourian (Sikeston)
Comments 'rodger_tillman'
The evangelist who even Pentecostal revivalists think is cheap and tacky
Todd Bentley, an uneasy-on-the eyes, short, fat, bald, tattooed (but charismatic!) faith healer, has been drawing big crowds in his campaign under the tent near Lakeland, Fla., with his Emeril-like “Bam!” when he releases the Lord’s healing spirit from his hands into the bodies of the stricken. “Come and get some!” he yells out. Miracles will be “popping like popcorn!” “Someone’s getting a new spinal cord tonight!” (Bonus: He’s has occasionally kneed, slapped, and kicked the afflicted, but according to him, they didn’t mind, and after all, even if they did mind, he’s just following God’s instructions.) Associated Press via Naples (Fla.) Daily News
Comments 'todd_bentley'
Speaking of bashing out those evil spirits . . .
Matt Lincoln, 57, filed a lawsuit in Knoxville, Tenn., against the Lakewind Church because his medical expenses are getting out of hand stemming from the fall he took in 2007 when he was overcome by the spirits in church and fell but that no one was there to catch him, as there had been all those other times he had been overcome. Associated Press via The Tennessean (Nashville)
Comments 'matt_lincoln'
Former State Dept. diplomat with a thing for teenage girls asks for leniency based on culture
Gons Nachman, 42, apparently craved overseas assignments (Brazil, Congo) because that’s where the hot teens were, and he’s about to be sentenced in Virginia for having photos of himself in action with them. He’s trying to muster some experts to tell the judge that teenagers in those countries are all grown up, not sheltered as in the U.S. (Uphill-climb Bonus No. 1: He’s also a longstanding nudist) (Uphill-climb Bonus No. 2: He asked the judge if, before sentencing, he’d perform the marriage ceremony for him and his now-21-yr-old Brazilian girlfriend) Associated Press via MSNBC
Comments 'gons_nachman'
Indonesia's icon of penile enhancement permanently detumesces
Ms. Mak Erot has passed on in Java, at the age of something north of 100, after a lifetime of fame as an advisor who could make men’s stuff grow with traditional herbs and Islamic prayer. In recent years, her likeness had been commandeered by Indonesian companies peddling lengthening and virility products. Agence France-Presse
Comments 'mak_erot'
Two aging Texas professors’ quest for young hotties
The Smoking Gun has embarrassing e-mails from super-horny University of Texas at San Antonio economics professor Ronald Ayers, 60, to pal Duane Conley, 61, a professor of computer information systems at San Antonio’s Palo Alto College, describing in almost-Penthouse-Forum-like language the young ‘uns in his classes. Ayers is awaiting a Board of Regents decision on whether, despite tenure, he can be fired, and Conley’s job’s not so secure, either. (Bonus: The graphic signature block on Ayer's e-mails: "Ronald Ayers, Your Partner in Teaching Excellence") TheSmokingGun.com // San Antonio Express-News, July 5 // San Antonio Express-News, July 10
Comments 'ronald_ayers'
Your Daily Loser
Gregory Smallwood, 46, Anderson Township, Ohio, was charged with almost setting a girlfriend’s van on fire out of anger that she had twice fallen asleep while they were doing the deed. (Bonus: no immature editorial references to the perp’s last name) Cincinnati Enquirer
Comments 'gregory_smallwood'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Robert Martin, 47, was detained at a rest stop on New Jersey’s Garden State Parkway because he had a bunch of lewd stuff visible in his parked car. The porn magazines were bad enough, but then there was a “platter” of women’s underwear on the dashboard and an array of naked Barbie dolls. WKYW-TV (Philadelphia)
Comments 'naked_barbie'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Christopher Penn, 41, Springfield Township, Ohio, who is charged with the awesome crime of walking out of a supermarket with eight (8) packages of T-bone steaks stuffed in his trousers. Cincinnati Enquirer
Comments 'christopher_penn'
More Things To Worry About on Friday
St. Mary’s Airport on Britain’s Isles of Scilly just advertised for an air traffic controller, with the application form also available in Braille . . . . . Prison officials in Austria reported that Josef Fritzl, the guy charged with imprisoning his daughter for 24 yrs in a dungeon, is complaining about being cooped up in his cell all day long (even though it’s mostly for his own safety) . . . . . Dallas, Tex., police revealed that a seized car they’d been using for two months for undercover work hadn’t quite been inspected thoroughly enough, since they just found $400K worth of cocaine still hidden inside . . . . . Police were called to a supermarket in Crawley, England, where two 78-yr-old women, formerly good friends, were ramming each other with their mobility scooters. Today’s Newsrangers: Rob Snyder, Kathryn Wood, Bob Pert, Nick DiNardo, Jerry Whittle, Melissa Cerrito, Doug Hammock, David Melcher
Comments 'worry_080711'
Abu Qatada, 47, who is said to be Al Qaeda’s “ambassador to Europe” and implicated in London’s 2005 subway bombings, is out now on house arrest. Britain would love to deport him to Jordan but fear he’ll be mistreated there, and that would be against UK law. So for now, he lives in the family homestead in London (said to be worth the equivalent of $1.6M) and receives beaucoup gov’t assistance, such as the equivalent of $300 a week disability for a bad back (which entitles his wife and their four children who are under age 18 to family support of the equivalent of $1,600 a week more) and relief from the annual local tax of the equivalent of about $4,500. Daily Mail (London)
Comments 'abu_qatada'
The legendary Belleville, Ill., sock bandit is back off the wagon
James Dowdy, 36, has demonstrated beyond a reasonable doubt that he is unable to stop stealing women’s socks. He has already done three prison stretches since 1993 for female-sock-based burglaries, and each time he is released, he starts therapy, and it apparently goes fine for a while, until, eventually, he's overcome by socks. Belleville News-Democrat
Comments 'sock_bandit'
Domestic assault or way-incompetent suicider?
Sikeston, Mo., police say Rodger Tillman simply clobbered his wife on the head with a board, and they thus arrested him for assault. Tillman claimed the issue was more, er, nuanced. Bankruptcy loomed; Mr. and Mrs. Tillman were being evicted; they made a suicide pact; she was supposed to go first; he smacked her around with a board; she failed to die and was in pain; he drove her toward the hospital; he improvised a plan B to ram the car into a utility pole to kill them both; the pole fell on the car with barely an additional scratch to the occupants; he proceeded on to the hospital. Southeast Missourian (Sikeston)
Comments 'rodger_tillman'
The evangelist who even Pentecostal revivalists think is cheap and tacky
Todd Bentley, an uneasy-on-the eyes, short, fat, bald, tattooed (but charismatic!) faith healer, has been drawing big crowds in his campaign under the tent near Lakeland, Fla., with his Emeril-like “Bam!” when he releases the Lord’s healing spirit from his hands into the bodies of the stricken. “Come and get some!” he yells out. Miracles will be “popping like popcorn!” “Someone’s getting a new spinal cord tonight!” (Bonus: He’s has occasionally kneed, slapped, and kicked the afflicted, but according to him, they didn’t mind, and after all, even if they did mind, he’s just following God’s instructions.) Associated Press via Naples (Fla.) Daily News
Comments 'todd_bentley'
Speaking of bashing out those evil spirits . . .
Matt Lincoln, 57, filed a lawsuit in Knoxville, Tenn., against the Lakewind Church because his medical expenses are getting out of hand stemming from the fall he took in 2007 when he was overcome by the spirits in church and fell but that no one was there to catch him, as there had been all those other times he had been overcome. Associated Press via The Tennessean (Nashville)
Comments 'matt_lincoln'
Former State Dept. diplomat with a thing for teenage girls asks for leniency based on culture
Gons Nachman, 42, apparently craved overseas assignments (Brazil, Congo) because that’s where the hot teens were, and he’s about to be sentenced in Virginia for having photos of himself in action with them. He’s trying to muster some experts to tell the judge that teenagers in those countries are all grown up, not sheltered as in the U.S. (Uphill-climb Bonus No. 1: He’s also a longstanding nudist) (Uphill-climb Bonus No. 2: He asked the judge if, before sentencing, he’d perform the marriage ceremony for him and his now-21-yr-old Brazilian girlfriend) Associated Press via MSNBC
Comments 'gons_nachman'
Indonesia's icon of penile enhancement permanently detumesces
Ms. Mak Erot has passed on in Java, at the age of something north of 100, after a lifetime of fame as an advisor who could make men’s stuff grow with traditional herbs and Islamic prayer. In recent years, her likeness had been commandeered by Indonesian companies peddling lengthening and virility products. Agence France-Presse
Comments 'mak_erot'
Two aging Texas professors’ quest for young hotties
The Smoking Gun has embarrassing e-mails from super-horny University of Texas at San Antonio economics professor Ronald Ayers, 60, to pal Duane Conley, 61, a professor of computer information systems at San Antonio’s Palo Alto College, describing in almost-Penthouse-Forum-like language the young ‘uns in his classes. Ayers is awaiting a Board of Regents decision on whether, despite tenure, he can be fired, and Conley’s job’s not so secure, either. (Bonus: The graphic signature block on Ayer's e-mails: "Ronald Ayers, Your Partner in Teaching Excellence") TheSmokingGun.com // San Antonio Express-News, July 5 // San Antonio Express-News, July 10
Comments 'ronald_ayers'
Your Daily Loser
Gregory Smallwood, 46, Anderson Township, Ohio, was charged with almost setting a girlfriend’s van on fire out of anger that she had twice fallen asleep while they were doing the deed. (Bonus: no immature editorial references to the perp’s last name) Cincinnati Enquirer
Comments 'gregory_smallwood'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Robert Martin, 47, was detained at a rest stop on New Jersey’s Garden State Parkway because he had a bunch of lewd stuff visible in his parked car. The porn magazines were bad enough, but then there was a “platter” of women’s underwear on the dashboard and an array of naked Barbie dolls. WKYW-TV (Philadelphia)
Comments 'naked_barbie'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Christopher Penn, 41, Springfield Township, Ohio, who is charged with the awesome crime of walking out of a supermarket with eight (8) packages of T-bone steaks stuffed in his trousers. Cincinnati Enquirer
Comments 'christopher_penn'
More Things To Worry About on Friday
St. Mary’s Airport on Britain’s Isles of Scilly just advertised for an air traffic controller, with the application form also available in Braille . . . . . Prison officials in Austria reported that Josef Fritzl, the guy charged with imprisoning his daughter for 24 yrs in a dungeon, is complaining about being cooped up in his cell all day long (even though it’s mostly for his own safety) . . . . . Dallas, Tex., police revealed that a seized car they’d been using for two months for undercover work hadn’t quite been inspected thoroughly enough, since they just found $400K worth of cocaine still hidden inside . . . . . Police were called to a supermarket in Crawley, England, where two 78-yr-old women, formerly good friends, were ramming each other with their mobility scooters. Today’s Newsrangers: Rob Snyder, Kathryn Wood, Bob Pert, Nick DiNardo, Jerry Whittle, Melissa Cerrito, Doug Hammock, David Melcher
Comments 'worry_080711'
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