Chuck’s Hand-Picked Overnight Weird News for Friday
Don't look at this video of the "aye-aye"
Denver Zoo's new exotic animal, from Madagascar, has "the body of a monkey, the tail of a squirrel, and a rodent-like face." Bonus: Its middle finger is three times longer than the others! But, don't look! It's not safe for work or for leisure because, in Madagascar, if you see one, you're doomed! Doomed! Rocky Mountain News
Comments 'denver_zoo'
Commissioner Brent Rinehart, the savior of Oklahoma City
Incumbent county commissioner Rinehart released a campaign comic book with himself as hero figure, keeping Satan at bay: "Satan: [I'll win] if I can get the kids to believe homosexuality is normal!" "Angel: Hey, Satan, not with Brent around, you won't!" Said one critic (from Rinehart's own Republican party), "I've really encouraged [Rinehart] on more than one occasion to get professional help. He really needs it." Said a Univ. of Oklahoma political scientist, "I've never seen a comic book with the phrase 'anal sodomy' in it before." Tulsa World // .pdf of the comic book [Safe for Work]
Comments 'brent_rinehart'
Your Daily Loser
David Novick, driving his 3 kids and a pal around Titusville, Fla., despite a .152 blood-alcohol reading, made his worldwide movie debut yesterday, courtesy of a news team from Orlando's WFTV, who arrived just ahead of the cops at the gas station Novick had stopped at and took this footage of him, totally zonked out at the wheel. Not groggy–zonked! WFTV // WFTV video
Comments 'david_novick'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
John Hibbitts, 58, Dayton, Ohio, was grossing out neighbors at 10:20 in the morning, just sitting on his front porch, naked, and making himself feel good. But, he tried to reassure the cops: "It's OK. I'm a nudist. It's hot out." Springfield News
Comments 'john_hibbitts'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Richard Geiger, 63, Parma, Ohio, thought possibly, possibly, to be a child-molester. WEWS-TV (Cleveland)
Comments 'richard_geiger'
More Things to Worry About on Friday
The latest surprise python visit: nesting with the clothes in a woman's washing machine in Gorham, Maine [Ed.: which is convenient, because she can wash her spontaneously-soiled underwear right there!] . . . . . At a military formation review at Kansas's Fort Riley, a parachutist's landing went off-course and took out two tuba players and a trumpeter . . . . . Once more, a Bible stops a stray bullet and saves a life (well, a Bible and a watermelon) . . . . . Headline from an Australian murder trial: "Man used teen's head as bowling ball, court told" . . . . . At a press conference on gun control in Nanchong, China, a cop dropped a gun, which fired and hit three reporters (only three). Today's Newsranger: Philip Urban
Comments 'worry_080718'
Denver Zoo's new exotic animal, from Madagascar, has "the body of a monkey, the tail of a squirrel, and a rodent-like face." Bonus: Its middle finger is three times longer than the others! But, don't look! It's not safe for work or for leisure because, in Madagascar, if you see one, you're doomed! Doomed! Rocky Mountain News
Comments 'denver_zoo'
Commissioner Brent Rinehart, the savior of Oklahoma City
Incumbent county commissioner Rinehart released a campaign comic book with himself as hero figure, keeping Satan at bay: "Satan: [I'll win] if I can get the kids to believe homosexuality is normal!" "Angel: Hey, Satan, not with Brent around, you won't!" Said one critic (from Rinehart's own Republican party), "I've really encouraged [Rinehart] on more than one occasion to get professional help. He really needs it." Said a Univ. of Oklahoma political scientist, "I've never seen a comic book with the phrase 'anal sodomy' in it before." Tulsa World // .pdf of the comic book [Safe for Work]
Comments 'brent_rinehart'
Your Daily Loser
David Novick, driving his 3 kids and a pal around Titusville, Fla., despite a .152 blood-alcohol reading, made his worldwide movie debut yesterday, courtesy of a news team from Orlando's WFTV, who arrived just ahead of the cops at the gas station Novick had stopped at and took this footage of him, totally zonked out at the wheel. Not groggy–zonked! WFTV // WFTV video
Comments 'david_novick'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
John Hibbitts, 58, Dayton, Ohio, was grossing out neighbors at 10:20 in the morning, just sitting on his front porch, naked, and making himself feel good. But, he tried to reassure the cops: "It's OK. I'm a nudist. It's hot out." Springfield News
Comments 'john_hibbitts'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Richard Geiger, 63, Parma, Ohio, thought possibly, possibly, to be a child-molester. WEWS-TV (Cleveland)
Comments 'richard_geiger'
More Things to Worry About on Friday
The latest surprise python visit: nesting with the clothes in a woman's washing machine in Gorham, Maine [Ed.: which is convenient, because she can wash her spontaneously-soiled underwear right there!] . . . . . At a military formation review at Kansas's Fort Riley, a parachutist's landing went off-course and took out two tuba players and a trumpeter . . . . . Once more, a Bible stops a stray bullet and saves a life (well, a Bible and a watermelon) . . . . . Headline from an Australian murder trial: "Man used teen's head as bowling ball, court told" . . . . . At a press conference on gun control in Nanchong, China, a cop dropped a gun, which fired and hit three reporters (only three). Today's Newsranger: Philip Urban
Comments 'worry_080718'
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