Chuck’s Hand-Picked Overnight Weird News for Friday

It had to happen: a fight club to make Chuck Palahniuk's seem for sissy boys

Electrically charged knives hum and crackle as two fighters circle each other on the gym floor, slashing and kicking out. Closing in, they throw punches and swing elbows before crashing to the mat to grapple as the crowd cheers them on. One slips a hand free and sends a several thousand volt jolt into his opponent's ribs to end the fight. Two more fighters quickly take their place, swinging hefty sticks, thwacking, punching, and head-butting each other in a brutal battle accompanied by the rhythmic thumping of drums.

This would be the Los Angeles-area Dog Brothers fight club. No referees, few rules. You can wear a fencing mask. Yee-oww. Reuters // DogBrothers.com
Comments 'dog_brothers'

If Larry Pollard weren't busy helping Michael Peterson, he'd be one of those 9-11 conspiracy guys
Michael Peterson was convicted of killing his wife in 2001 by whomping her with a fireplace poker, but his pal Larry Pollard had a theory that he's stuck with since then, that it was actually an owl gone bad that attacked her, and now he's found a investigator's report that a microscopic piece of feather was found at the crime scene so there ya go! And now that he's looked again at all the evidence against Michael, he sees some things that nobody else seemed to see during Peterson's 14-week trial in Durham with high-paid lawyers! News & Observer (Raleigh)
Comments 'larry_pollard'

Doctor's double-whammy: First, his indecent-exposure conviction was upheld, and second, everybody in Houston knows he's only got "2.8" inches
Fortunately, he has kids at home so the Houston Chronicle doesn't name him, to spare them schoolyard abuse. But, yeah, the Court of Appeals let stand his conviction for fooling around with an undercover officer in a men's room. He tried to say he's too small to have flashed anybody, but the really embarrassing part is his other defense (of innocent explanation), that within a minute or two of meeting a perfect stranger in a men's room, he'd offer to pull up his shirt and compare stomach muscles. Houston Chronicle
Comments '2point8_inches'

Update: That condemned man in Texas gets a 6-month reprieve
A federal judge stayed the execution mentioned here yesterday, ruling that there is an obvious issue of whether Jeffrey Wood is insane. The U.S. Supreme Court has barred the execution of insane people, but Texas law requires that such an insane person prove that he is insane in order to get a hearing on whether he is insane. Federal judge Orlando Garcia says that is "insane." New York Times
Comments 'texas_insane'

Your Daily Loser
William Nguyen, 24, arrested in New Orleans for armed robbery, wrote in a very emphatic confession that the only reason he did it was to bring himself to the attention of Det. Sgt. Roy Phillips of NOPD because, quote, "I WANT TO BE A C.I. ASAP" (meaning confidential assistant [CORRECTION: "informant," of course, not "assistant"], as soon as possible, with those six letters repeatedly underlined). Times-Picayune
Comments 'william_nguyen'

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Brandon Bagnes, 31, of suburban Salt Lake City, has a problem with kids and a problem with diapers. His mom says the latter is a medical problem, but the long arm of the law says the problems are one and the same. KCPX-TV (Salt Lake City)
Comments 'brandon_bagnes'

Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Mr. Igor Kenk has been charged in Toronto with having stolen bicycles in his shop . . as many as, er, 2,396. Police haven't figured out yet exactly what his angle was. But all that's irrelevant to us; we just need to see what the dude looks like. New York Times
Comments 'igor_kenk'

More Things to Worry About on Friday
In Ohio, some election officials are so concerned about keeping voting machines secure that they, er, take them home at night during election season (a "sleepover") to, uh, guard them . . . . . At the Muslim shrine of Khan Jahan Ali in Bangladesh, where pilgrims throw sacrifices (hens, usually) into a five-crocodile pond for blessings, one croc forcibly accepted pilgrim Rubel Sheikh as its blessed lunch . . . . . News That Sounds Like a Joke: Britain's Nat'l Health Service reduced fees paid to dentists, and now, two yrs later, a big drop in crowns and a corresponding rise in extractions! . . . . . The cameraman on that notorious Baltimore "Stop Snitching" video of a couple of yrs ago was sentenced to 30 yrs on drug and gun crimes (Bonus: Yep, somebody snitched on him). Today's Newsrangers: Bob Pert, Gary Goldberg, Christopher Nalty, Tim Farley, Stephen Taylor, Liana McGowan
Comments 'worry_080822'

Editor's Notes
(1) For those on the DailyWeird e-mail list: It appears that certain e-mail platforms do not support the clickable links that you get on this page (and in RSS feeds). I fiddled around with the settings yesterday, which is why you got several copies of yesterday's e-mail. The good thing about Google Groups is that it's free; the bad thing is that if you can't get it to plug 'n' play, you're SOL because there's no support, whatsoever. Please, if you subscribe to DailyWeird, and you do NOT receive clickable links, please send me a message (a) only from the e-mail address on your Google Account and (b) only to this address, for this mission only: [email protected]. Please write me at that address only, and please do not store that address because I'm going to close the box soon. Thank you for your help. (2) In fact, here's a reward for reading this far. Last week, The Smoking Gun posted this police report from Broomfield, Colo., that you probably didn't see: the "massage parlor" arrest of the 48-yr-old Ms., er, Mi Sook Yoo. (3) Reminder: During August, no Saturday post of Chuck's Hand-Picked Overnights.
Comments 'editors_080822'