Chuck’s Hand-Picked Overnight Weird News for Monday
It's good to be a British pris—oops, make that Egyptian prisoner
A "senior security official" said an experimental program during Ramadan would continue indefinitely to allow prisoners to order take-out (at their own expense) from local restaurants instead of eating prison food. It's win-win for the prisons because it helps get those irritating human rights people off their backs, since Egyptian prison food is said to be especially poor. Reuters via Yahoo
Comments 'egyptian_prisoners'
Minister-pimp heavies up his Biblical defense
John LaVoie said he'll appeal the civil forfeiture verdict by the state against his Tucson, Ariz., whore—er, church, because what he does there is have his "angels" engage in providing comfort to the afflicted by "the laying of the hands," which other religions sorta limit to, y'know, the forehead and other benign places. Not like "Oriental Angel," who is 5-foot-2 and whose "Far East delight" will take you "to heaven and back." Arizona Daily Star
Comments 'laying_hands'
"Not many people walk into a bar and walk out with a new leg"
What a great lede! David Huckvale had been saving up for 13 yrs for a bionic leg to replace the amputated one, but hadn't made much progress. At a pub, he happened to run into a surgeon who had a spare leg and offered to fit it for free. I mean . . . whoa . . . Daily Telegraph (London)
Comments 'david_huckvale'
When mindless software-sleuthing becomes more than a bad joke
Yeah, it was a riot to read about that newspaper's software filter's changing the references in a bankruptcy story (the company improving from "red-ink" status to being "in the African-American") or the references to the name of the airplane that dropped the first atomic bomb (to the "Enola homosexual"). Except the city of Tampa gov't's investigation of on-the-job pornography browsing named a fire rescue crew, when apparently all one guy did was access stories about Olympic sprinter Tyson Gay and a sale at the Badcock furniture store. Not that there's anything wrong with that, except that firehouses are not usually the most sexual-orientation-tolerant workplaces. Tampa Tribune
Comments 'software_sleuthing'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
It could be that Peter Lehman, 26, is smart enough to get away with making $20 bills on a copy machine. WPLG-TV (Miami)
Comments 'peter_lehman'
More Things to Worry About on Monday
Turns out that if you get flesh-eating disease, but you're fat enough, you might wear down the bacteria and survive . . . . . The airliner broke down on landing in Zhengzhou, China, and some of the 69 passengers had to help push it to the gate (took 2 hours) . . . . . An Italian lawyer with a part-time gig as a judge took an assignment even though it conflicted with a hearing in court for a client, but fortunately, the lawyer-judge has a twin sister to play the lawyer part (Problem: Sis is not a lawyer) . . . . . Totally Kewl! A tractor-trailer with 26 tons of pudding cups caught fire, and over the following 20 minutes, 60,000 explosions! . . . . . When Fugitives Forget to Keep a Low Profile: Clifford West opened two townfolk-jarring "bikini coffee bars" in Ellensburg, Wash., even though he was on the run from a major sex abuse charge in Oregon. Today's Newsrangers: Paul Music, Bill Warren, Jenny Beatty, Sandy Pearlman, Candy Clouston
Comments 'worry_080929'
A "senior security official" said an experimental program during Ramadan would continue indefinitely to allow prisoners to order take-out (at their own expense) from local restaurants instead of eating prison food. It's win-win for the prisons because it helps get those irritating human rights people off their backs, since Egyptian prison food is said to be especially poor. Reuters via Yahoo
Comments 'egyptian_prisoners'
Minister-pimp heavies up his Biblical defense
John LaVoie said he'll appeal the civil forfeiture verdict by the state against his Tucson, Ariz., whore—er, church, because what he does there is have his "angels" engage in providing comfort to the afflicted by "the laying of the hands," which other religions sorta limit to, y'know, the forehead and other benign places. Not like "Oriental Angel," who is 5-foot-2 and whose "Far East delight" will take you "to heaven and back." Arizona Daily Star
Comments 'laying_hands'
"Not many people walk into a bar and walk out with a new leg"
What a great lede! David Huckvale had been saving up for 13 yrs for a bionic leg to replace the amputated one, but hadn't made much progress. At a pub, he happened to run into a surgeon who had a spare leg and offered to fit it for free. I mean . . . whoa . . . Daily Telegraph (London)
Comments 'david_huckvale'
When mindless software-sleuthing becomes more than a bad joke
Yeah, it was a riot to read about that newspaper's software filter's changing the references in a bankruptcy story (the company improving from "red-ink" status to being "in the African-American") or the references to the name of the airplane that dropped the first atomic bomb (to the "Enola homosexual"). Except the city of Tampa gov't's investigation of on-the-job pornography browsing named a fire rescue crew, when apparently all one guy did was access stories about Olympic sprinter Tyson Gay and a sale at the Badcock furniture store. Not that there's anything wrong with that, except that firehouses are not usually the most sexual-orientation-tolerant workplaces. Tampa Tribune
Comments 'software_sleuthing'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
It could be that Peter Lehman, 26, is smart enough to get away with making $20 bills on a copy machine. WPLG-TV (Miami)
Comments 'peter_lehman'
More Things to Worry About on Monday
Turns out that if you get flesh-eating disease, but you're fat enough, you might wear down the bacteria and survive . . . . . The airliner broke down on landing in Zhengzhou, China, and some of the 69 passengers had to help push it to the gate (took 2 hours) . . . . . An Italian lawyer with a part-time gig as a judge took an assignment even though it conflicted with a hearing in court for a client, but fortunately, the lawyer-judge has a twin sister to play the lawyer part (Problem: Sis is not a lawyer) . . . . . Totally Kewl! A tractor-trailer with 26 tons of pudding cups caught fire, and over the following 20 minutes, 60,000 explosions! . . . . . When Fugitives Forget to Keep a Low Profile: Clifford West opened two townfolk-jarring "bikini coffee bars" in Ellensburg, Wash., even though he was on the run from a major sex abuse charge in Oregon. Today's Newsrangers: Paul Music, Bill Warren, Jenny Beatty, Sandy Pearlman, Candy Clouston
Comments 'worry_080929'
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