Chuck’s Hand-Picked Overnight Weird News for Saturday
Editor's Note
Remember, ladies and gentlemen, Weird Universe's daily news feed will become "new" (the name and format, anyway) and "improved" (editor upping his dosage of Zoloft) starting Monday, and be released in two parts every weekday (roughly, morning and afternoon, Eastern time). Boring explanation here.
In the F State, we take our lawns seriously
Joseph Prudente, 66, reported to jail in Pasco County (the next county up from Weird News Central), where he'll sit for a while, with no bail possible. Crime? His lawn is ugly. (Well, technically, it's because the homeowners association sued, and a judge ordered, and Prudente failed to comply.) On the other hand, his mortgage payments just ballooned up $600 a month, his car was repossessed, and his daughter and two young granddaughters had moved in because of their own hard times. If Prudente can somehow squeeze "resodding the lawn" onto the budget, the judge will spring him. St. Petersburg Times
Comments 'prudente_lawn'
Cambodian couple splits, divides their stuff (including their actual house)
The couple (in a village about 50 miles from Phnom Penh) had decided to divorce after 40 yrs, and neither thought it was a good idea to continue to live in the same house. Husband's friends came over, moved the wife's stuff to one side of the house, then helped him saw off the other half and relocate it to the other side of the village (and yes, there's a photo). [Ed.: Two yrs ago, a New York City couple walled off their townhouse so they could continue to share it, but sawing it in half is hard-core.] Daily Telegraph (London)
Comments 'split_house'
The "phantom limb" sensation among amputees (they feel like that arm's still there) applies to dickectomies, too
Neuroscientists have known for years that after amputation of an arm or leg or finger, it takes the brain a while to rewire the new configuration, so amputees report still feeling like the limb is still there. Now, doctors report that this 52-yr-old woman, who was just recently a 52-yr-old man, continues to think she's getting erections. Neurotopia via ScienceBlogs.com
Comments 'phantom_limb'
Faith-based politics
We were set to make fun of Sarah Khaen, a member of the Norwegian parliament who has just announced her resignation for an addiction to guidance from psychic hotlines, but then . . police in Cobb County, Ga. (suburban Atlanta) said a county commissioner, Annette Kesting, passed two bogus checks (total: $3k) to Ms. George Ann Mills (that's "George"), who happens to be a voodoo high priestess. Mills says the payments were for her to put a death spell on Woody Thompson, who had just beaten Kesting in August in the Democratic primary. Mills said she earned that $3k by sacrificing three hens and a rooster and asking her 14 gods to take over Kesting's request (which Mills said was for "cancer" or a "car accident"). Kesting denied the death stuff, but apparently she did owe Mills $3k for something. Agence France-Presse via Yahoo (Khaen) /// The State (Columbia, S.C.) (Kesting) /// Update on Kesting from Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Comments 'kesting_voodoo'
Your Daily Loser
The robber, in his 20s, strong-armed a guy on the street and forced him to hand over his $50, but then the victim fought back, retook the $50 and then forced the robber to cough up $30 of his own money. (He got away, so it wasn't a total loss.) Macomb Daily
Comments 'robber_robbed'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Muskegon, Mich., pastor Jerry DePoy Jr, 33, who says he's now "a very broken person, desperately in need of grace," after he foisted nude cell phone pictures of himself and his wife upon the gaze of a parishioner, whom he was unwantedly sex-counseling in a restaurant. Muskegon Chronicle
Comments 'jerry_depoy'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Gregory Torres, 19, Sheboygan, Wis., might be the kind of fella who's so clever that, when trying to lie his way out of a "didn't-click-it" traffic ticket, commits enough misdemeanors to qualify for eight yrs in the slammer. Sheboygan Press
Comments 'gregory_torres'
More Things to Worry About on Saturday
Economic tsunami? OK, we'll deal with that, said the Massachusetts legislature, but first, what should be our state's "state book"? . . . . . This guy is way-mentally ill, which is unfortunate because he does have an explanation for the financial-system meltdown that's much easier to follow than any we've heard this week (i.e., CIA stole all the banks' money). Today's Newsrangers: Emory Kimbrough, Pete Randall, Bruce Townley, Kathryn Wood, Scott Langill
Comments 'worry_081011'
Remember, ladies and gentlemen, Weird Universe's daily news feed will become "new" (the name and format, anyway) and "improved" (editor upping his dosage of Zoloft) starting Monday, and be released in two parts every weekday (roughly, morning and afternoon, Eastern time). Boring explanation here.
In the F State, we take our lawns seriously
Joseph Prudente, 66, reported to jail in Pasco County (the next county up from Weird News Central), where he'll sit for a while, with no bail possible. Crime? His lawn is ugly. (Well, technically, it's because the homeowners association sued, and a judge ordered, and Prudente failed to comply.) On the other hand, his mortgage payments just ballooned up $600 a month, his car was repossessed, and his daughter and two young granddaughters had moved in because of their own hard times. If Prudente can somehow squeeze "resodding the lawn" onto the budget, the judge will spring him. St. Petersburg Times
Comments 'prudente_lawn'
Cambodian couple splits, divides their stuff (including their actual house)
The couple (in a village about 50 miles from Phnom Penh) had decided to divorce after 40 yrs, and neither thought it was a good idea to continue to live in the same house. Husband's friends came over, moved the wife's stuff to one side of the house, then helped him saw off the other half and relocate it to the other side of the village (and yes, there's a photo). [Ed.: Two yrs ago, a New York City couple walled off their townhouse so they could continue to share it, but sawing it in half is hard-core.] Daily Telegraph (London)
Comments 'split_house'
The "phantom limb" sensation among amputees (they feel like that arm's still there) applies to dickectomies, too
Neuroscientists have known for years that after amputation of an arm or leg or finger, it takes the brain a while to rewire the new configuration, so amputees report still feeling like the limb is still there. Now, doctors report that this 52-yr-old woman, who was just recently a 52-yr-old man, continues to think she's getting erections. Neurotopia via ScienceBlogs.com
Comments 'phantom_limb'
Faith-based politics
We were set to make fun of Sarah Khaen, a member of the Norwegian parliament who has just announced her resignation for an addiction to guidance from psychic hotlines, but then . . police in Cobb County, Ga. (suburban Atlanta) said a county commissioner, Annette Kesting, passed two bogus checks (total: $3k) to Ms. George Ann Mills (that's "George"), who happens to be a voodoo high priestess. Mills says the payments were for her to put a death spell on Woody Thompson, who had just beaten Kesting in August in the Democratic primary. Mills said she earned that $3k by sacrificing three hens and a rooster and asking her 14 gods to take over Kesting's request (which Mills said was for "cancer" or a "car accident"). Kesting denied the death stuff, but apparently she did owe Mills $3k for something. Agence France-Presse via Yahoo (Khaen) /// The State (Columbia, S.C.) (Kesting) /// Update on Kesting from Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Comments 'kesting_voodoo'
Your Daily Loser
The robber, in his 20s, strong-armed a guy on the street and forced him to hand over his $50, but then the victim fought back, retook the $50 and then forced the robber to cough up $30 of his own money. (He got away, so it wasn't a total loss.) Macomb Daily
Comments 'robber_robbed'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Muskegon, Mich., pastor Jerry DePoy Jr, 33, who says he's now "a very broken person, desperately in need of grace," after he foisted nude cell phone pictures of himself and his wife upon the gaze of a parishioner, whom he was unwantedly sex-counseling in a restaurant. Muskegon Chronicle
Comments 'jerry_depoy'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Gregory Torres, 19, Sheboygan, Wis., might be the kind of fella who's so clever that, when trying to lie his way out of a "didn't-click-it" traffic ticket, commits enough misdemeanors to qualify for eight yrs in the slammer. Sheboygan Press
Comments 'gregory_torres'
More Things to Worry About on Saturday
Economic tsunami? OK, we'll deal with that, said the Massachusetts legislature, but first, what should be our state's "state book"? . . . . . This guy is way-mentally ill, which is unfortunate because he does have an explanation for the financial-system meltdown that's much easier to follow than any we've heard this week (i.e., CIA stole all the banks' money). Today's Newsrangers: Emory Kimbrough, Pete Randall, Bruce Townley, Kathryn Wood, Scott Langill
Comments 'worry_081011'
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