Chuck’s Hand-Picked Overnight Weird News for Thursday
Can’t Possibly Be True (I): The Cow-Fart Collection Device
It was in the newspaper, so it must be true: Researchers at Argentina’s Nat’l Institute of Agricultural Technology, alarmed that methane from cattle produces one-third of the nation’s greenhouse gases, decided that they need to study the actual composition of cow farts. Hence, this plastic tank, strapped on cows’ backs (which, I suppose, is better than trailing behind cows all day with baggies). Daily Telegraph (London)
Comments 'fart_collecting'
Labor strife in the Santa Claus profession
Amalgamated Santas is in turmoil after it grew to over 100 members (only real-bearded men allowed) and elected a manager, who ticked people off by cutting a movie-consultancy deal for himself. There’s major flaming on the Elf Net bulletin board, and one recent live meeting turned physical. Apparently, some Santas are naughty, some are nice, and there should be a list. Wall Street Journal
Comments 'santa_clauses'"} (
People who don’t embarrass easily
Passerby Willie Vickers, 46, saw the woman and the cops struggling to get the car door open after she had locked her keys inside, and he said he could help. Recalled the police chief, later, “[Vickers] told the officers that he had a lot of experience getting into locked cars.” Indeed. He was arrested on several outstanding burglary warrants. WEWS-TV (Cleveland)
Comments 'lookout_experienced'"} (
Can’t Possibly Be True (II): Shoulda set it on vibrate
It says here in the Jamaica Star that Mr. Tesha Miller, reputed leader of the Clansmen gang, was arrested for violating conditions of his bail and that after Miller was searched and the cops ready to move on, they heard a phone ring. Yes, a phone (and charger) were recovered from a non-sunshiny place. Jamaica Star [via Rotten.com]
Comments 'jamaica_vibrate'"} (
Updates (for veteran readers of News of the Weird Daily)
Romania’s highest court voided that parliamentary law requiring that the news be half positive and half negative . . . . . Already the protesters have hit the streets in Sydney trying hard to “annoy” and “inconvenience” people (which will, you recall, be illegal during next week’s Catholic youth pilgrimage) . . . . . The three men who dug up the corpse of a traffic-victim hottie in 2006, to have sex with the body, and who were let go because Wisconsin had no necrophilia law, are back on the docket after the state supreme court reversed.
Comments 'updates_080710'"} (
Your Daily Loser
Michael Mahoney, 25, became the latest alleged rapist to actually think the victim (a total stranger) was into him and wanted to start hooking up with him after the rape. He gave her his phone number. Boston Herald
Comments 'michael_mahoney'"} (
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
David Rourke (or Roark), Taylor, Mich., an ice-cream man accused of molesting children. WDIV-TV (Detroit)
Comments 'david_rourke'"} (
More Things to Worry About on Thursday
Police arrested a man in Hartland, Maine, for “terrorizing” his family in a dispute over a, um, croquet match . . . . . The Chicago Sun-Times somehow got members to talk about a “club” featuring doctors, lawyers, accountants, et al, who get together after work and “fight” each other . . . . . Do you really want to be out in the same traffic with a person who just passed her first driver’s test only because she had to spend about $30,000 on 450 hours’ instruction because she kept failing (12 times) earlier tests? . . . . . Readers’ Choice story: A 43-yr-old woman in Potter Valley, Calif., drawing her .44 Magnum from a holster to shoot a mouse in her trailer home, dropped it on the floor, where it fired, hitting her in the knee and ricocheting through a companion’s pants (and no doubt confusing the mouse) . . . . . And, even though it’s No Longer Weird, here are two stories from yesterday in which one criminal calls up the police to earnestly report that another criminal just robbed him (of the drugs he tried to buy, in Connecticut, and of the money he had just stolen, in Florida)! Today’s Newsrangers: Jeffrey Deutsch, Philip Urban, Susan Prendergast, Donald Campbell, Dave Bonan, Martin Prior, and lots who saw the Readers’ Choice
Comments 'worry_080710'"} (
It was in the newspaper, so it must be true: Researchers at Argentina’s Nat’l Institute of Agricultural Technology, alarmed that methane from cattle produces one-third of the nation’s greenhouse gases, decided that they need to study the actual composition of cow farts. Hence, this plastic tank, strapped on cows’ backs (which, I suppose, is better than trailing behind cows all day with baggies). Daily Telegraph (London)
Comments 'fart_collecting'
Labor strife in the Santa Claus profession
Amalgamated Santas is in turmoil after it grew to over 100 members (only real-bearded men allowed) and elected a manager, who ticked people off by cutting a movie-consultancy deal for himself. There’s major flaming on the Elf Net bulletin board, and one recent live meeting turned physical. Apparently, some Santas are naughty, some are nice, and there should be a list. Wall Street Journal
Comments 'santa_clauses'"} (
People who don’t embarrass easily
Passerby Willie Vickers, 46, saw the woman and the cops struggling to get the car door open after she had locked her keys inside, and he said he could help. Recalled the police chief, later, “[Vickers] told the officers that he had a lot of experience getting into locked cars.” Indeed. He was arrested on several outstanding burglary warrants. WEWS-TV (Cleveland)
Comments 'lookout_experienced'"} (
Can’t Possibly Be True (II): Shoulda set it on vibrate
It says here in the Jamaica Star that Mr. Tesha Miller, reputed leader of the Clansmen gang, was arrested for violating conditions of his bail and that after Miller was searched and the cops ready to move on, they heard a phone ring. Yes, a phone (and charger) were recovered from a non-sunshiny place. Jamaica Star [via Rotten.com]
Comments 'jamaica_vibrate'"} (
Updates (for veteran readers of News of the Weird Daily)
Romania’s highest court voided that parliamentary law requiring that the news be half positive and half negative . . . . . Already the protesters have hit the streets in Sydney trying hard to “annoy” and “inconvenience” people (which will, you recall, be illegal during next week’s Catholic youth pilgrimage) . . . . . The three men who dug up the corpse of a traffic-victim hottie in 2006, to have sex with the body, and who were let go because Wisconsin had no necrophilia law, are back on the docket after the state supreme court reversed.
Comments 'updates_080710'"} (
Your Daily Loser
Michael Mahoney, 25, became the latest alleged rapist to actually think the victim (a total stranger) was into him and wanted to start hooking up with him after the rape. He gave her his phone number. Boston Herald
Comments 'michael_mahoney'"} (
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
David Rourke (or Roark), Taylor, Mich., an ice-cream man accused of molesting children. WDIV-TV (Detroit)
Comments 'david_rourke'"} (
More Things to Worry About on Thursday
Police arrested a man in Hartland, Maine, for “terrorizing” his family in a dispute over a, um, croquet match . . . . . The Chicago Sun-Times somehow got members to talk about a “club” featuring doctors, lawyers, accountants, et al, who get together after work and “fight” each other . . . . . Do you really want to be out in the same traffic with a person who just passed her first driver’s test only because she had to spend about $30,000 on 450 hours’ instruction because she kept failing (12 times) earlier tests? . . . . . Readers’ Choice story: A 43-yr-old woman in Potter Valley, Calif., drawing her .44 Magnum from a holster to shoot a mouse in her trailer home, dropped it on the floor, where it fired, hitting her in the knee and ricocheting through a companion’s pants (and no doubt confusing the mouse) . . . . . And, even though it’s No Longer Weird, here are two stories from yesterday in which one criminal calls up the police to earnestly report that another criminal just robbed him (of the drugs he tried to buy, in Connecticut, and of the money he had just stolen, in Florida)! Today’s Newsrangers: Jeffrey Deutsch, Philip Urban, Susan Prendergast, Donald Campbell, Dave Bonan, Martin Prior, and lots who saw the Readers’ Choice
Comments 'worry_080710'"} (
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