Chuck’s Hand-Picked Overnight Weird News for Wednesday
The F State's rappin' granny
Angela Pusateri, 79, of the east coast's Hallandale Beach, has a CD out (Who's Your Granny?) and makes a few personal appearances in the area (wearing hockey jersey, bling, sunglasses, and baseball cap): I can bring the noise better than P-Diddy/I am older and wiser, I ain't a disguiser/I am condo commando in a high-riser, Who's your granny? Or, how about, Move over, Trick-Daddy, 'cause this is my town/I gotta shuffleboard posse and we're known to get down "Sometimes it's embarrassing," said granddaughter Jenna, 13, in New York, "but she really is a cool grandmother." South Florida Sun-Sentinel [Link Corrected]
Comments 'rappin_granny'
How three naive Chinese men brought uranium into the country
The scrap merchants were on a trip to Kyrgyzstan and found this neat, 600-lb. rock with a little glitter in it, suggesting gold in there somewhere, and brought it home to Xinjiang, in the boonies. They're noticing that, when the lights are off at night, the rock . . well . . stays on. So one guy chipped a piece off and took it all the way to Beijing for an assessment, and, yeah, it's "depleted uranium." Initial reaction: Huh? WTF? Bonus: It's illegal, and you're under arrest for smuggling it in, but finally the prosecutor dropped the charge. "To date, the three [men] had shown no 'physical abnormalities'." The Times (London)
Comments 'uranium_smugglers'
People who really, really want gov't benefits
"Swedish prostitutes want to pay taxes," read the headline on Stockholm's TheLocal.se, because of course the key to the kingdom of generous pensions, sick leave, etc., is filing a tax return. (On the other hand, umm, they're gonna have to give receipts for services, and charge value-added tax.) In North Port, Fla., which is actually nowhere near the north of Florida but does have a port), John Lynn, 52, shot himself in the chest just so he could claim disability benefits (telling cops he had been shot in a robbery). TheLocal.se // Tampa Tribune (with mug shot; might be innocent!)
Comments 'government_benefits'
Various gov't crises for Wednesday
In Thailand, the prime minister got kicked out because, let's see, he had sex with an intern in his office (no), or maybe, he orchestrated a crime cover-up from his office (no)? Actually, he';s out because he kept appearing on his TV cooking show even after taking office, which, according to the constitution, is a disqualifying conflict of interest, whether or not he was merely reimbursed expenses for his appearances. In Iran, Interior Minister Ali Kordan is being investigated for résumé fraud, after Oxford Univ. said they never heard of him and his supposed degree. Associated Press via Los Angeles Times // Washington Post
Comments 'cooking_resume'
Update: Charles Hood's execution postponed, after his trial judge and his prosecutor finally admit they had a secret affair
The now-retired judge still denied that she was actually hooking up during the Hood trial, though. Furthermore, Texas's highest court for criminal cases, which until now almost couldn't dismiss Hood's challenges fast enough, coincidentally . . yeah, that's it, coincidentally yesterday managed to locate an independent reason to postpone the execution, concluding that, let's see, maybe the jury instructions might have been flawed. New York Times
Comments 'hood_update'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Christine Semeraro, 37, Bossier City, La., might have been illegally topless in public on the Red River that afternoon (and possibly she's someone who would permit kids to have sex at her house). Hard to tell. Presumption of innocence.. KTBS-TV (Shreveport)
Comments 'christine_semeraro'
More Things to Worry About on Wednesday
Jews Needed in Alabama: They're down to about 50 Jewish families in Dothan, Ala., so the Blumberg Family Relocation Fund offers forgivable loans (up to $50k) to Jews who'll move there and get active in the temple . . . . . A baggage-handling screwup at American Airlines (and by "baggage" I mean Miguel Olaya's late wife's corpse) caused by a clerk's mistyping the destination (GUA for GYE) (Bonus: New York Daily News twice misspelled the airline) . . . . . Tropical Storm Fay's aftermath along the F State's central Atlantic coast: tree frogs in your toilet! . . . . . In Britain, a Botox substitute is available for the injection-squeamish: a cream made with Malaysian viper venom, to puff out your skin sorta like you've just been bitten . . . . . Britain's Ministry of Defense disclosed that since 2004, it has lost (or had stolen) 120 working portable-memory devices. Today's Newsrangers: Joe Littrell, Candy Clouston, Sandy Pearlman, Paul Blumstein
Comments 'worry_080910'
Angela Pusateri, 79, of the east coast's Hallandale Beach, has a CD out (Who's Your Granny?) and makes a few personal appearances in the area (wearing hockey jersey, bling, sunglasses, and baseball cap): I can bring the noise better than P-Diddy/I am older and wiser, I ain't a disguiser/I am condo commando in a high-riser, Who's your granny? Or, how about, Move over, Trick-Daddy, 'cause this is my town/I gotta shuffleboard posse and we're known to get down "Sometimes it's embarrassing," said granddaughter Jenna, 13, in New York, "but she really is a cool grandmother." South Florida Sun-Sentinel [Link Corrected]
Comments 'rappin_granny'
How three naive Chinese men brought uranium into the country
The scrap merchants were on a trip to Kyrgyzstan and found this neat, 600-lb. rock with a little glitter in it, suggesting gold in there somewhere, and brought it home to Xinjiang, in the boonies. They're noticing that, when the lights are off at night, the rock . . well . . stays on. So one guy chipped a piece off and took it all the way to Beijing for an assessment, and, yeah, it's "depleted uranium." Initial reaction: Huh? WTF? Bonus: It's illegal, and you're under arrest for smuggling it in, but finally the prosecutor dropped the charge. "To date, the three [men] had shown no 'physical abnormalities'." The Times (London)
Comments 'uranium_smugglers'
People who really, really want gov't benefits
"Swedish prostitutes want to pay taxes," read the headline on Stockholm's TheLocal.se, because of course the key to the kingdom of generous pensions, sick leave, etc., is filing a tax return. (On the other hand, umm, they're gonna have to give receipts for services, and charge value-added tax.) In North Port, Fla., which is actually nowhere near the north of Florida but does have a port), John Lynn, 52, shot himself in the chest just so he could claim disability benefits (telling cops he had been shot in a robbery). TheLocal.se // Tampa Tribune (with mug shot; might be innocent!)
Comments 'government_benefits'
Various gov't crises for Wednesday
In Thailand, the prime minister got kicked out because, let's see, he had sex with an intern in his office (no), or maybe, he orchestrated a crime cover-up from his office (no)? Actually, he';s out because he kept appearing on his TV cooking show even after taking office, which, according to the constitution, is a disqualifying conflict of interest, whether or not he was merely reimbursed expenses for his appearances. In Iran, Interior Minister Ali Kordan is being investigated for résumé fraud, after Oxford Univ. said they never heard of him and his supposed degree. Associated Press via Los Angeles Times // Washington Post
Comments 'cooking_resume'
Update: Charles Hood's execution postponed, after his trial judge and his prosecutor finally admit they had a secret affair
The now-retired judge still denied that she was actually hooking up during the Hood trial, though. Furthermore, Texas's highest court for criminal cases, which until now almost couldn't dismiss Hood's challenges fast enough, coincidentally . . yeah, that's it, coincidentally yesterday managed to locate an independent reason to postpone the execution, concluding that, let's see, maybe the jury instructions might have been flawed. New York Times
Comments 'hood_update'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Christine Semeraro, 37, Bossier City, La., might have been illegally topless in public on the Red River that afternoon (and possibly she's someone who would permit kids to have sex at her house). Hard to tell. Presumption of innocence.. KTBS-TV (Shreveport)
Comments 'christine_semeraro'
More Things to Worry About on Wednesday
Jews Needed in Alabama: They're down to about 50 Jewish families in Dothan, Ala., so the Blumberg Family Relocation Fund offers forgivable loans (up to $50k) to Jews who'll move there and get active in the temple . . . . . A baggage-handling screwup at American Airlines (and by "baggage" I mean Miguel Olaya's late wife's corpse) caused by a clerk's mistyping the destination (GUA for GYE) (Bonus: New York Daily News twice misspelled the airline) . . . . . Tropical Storm Fay's aftermath along the F State's central Atlantic coast: tree frogs in your toilet! . . . . . In Britain, a Botox substitute is available for the injection-squeamish: a cream made with Malaysian viper venom, to puff out your skin sorta like you've just been bitten . . . . . Britain's Ministry of Defense disclosed that since 2004, it has lost (or had stolen) 120 working portable-memory devices. Today's Newsrangers: Joe Littrell, Candy Clouston, Sandy Pearlman, Paul Blumstein
Comments 'worry_080910'
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