Chuck’s Weekly Cite-Seeing (January 16, 2012)
Chuck's Weekly Cite-Seeing Tour
The Crème de la Crème, Every Monday
January 16, 2012
(datelines from January 6 or later) (links correct as of January 16)
[Looking for Pro Edition? Here's the explanation.]
Karnataka state, India: The December food-rolling ritual was once again panned by religious leaders. (By century-old tradition, lower-caste people wrap themselves in leftover food from upper-caste people and roll around in it . . to improve the skin. Charming. BBC News
Calabasas, Calif.: The state-of-the-art fertility company PlanetHospital was revealed to have a package for wannabe mothers who are really, really impatient. For an extra fee, they'll up your odds of conception by implanting your eggs into two Indian women at the same time. Downside: Both may work, and it's rude to abort. Slate.com
Athens, Greece: The Labor Ministry beefed up official disability-benefit categories . . to include luckless unfortunates such as kleptomaniacs, exhibitionists, and pedophiles. Associated Press via Washington Post
Texas City, Tex.: An auto accident victim spent 4 hours in the Mainland Medical Center's ER (exam, diagnostic tests) before being released, with the probable bill of $4,850, which is obviously ridiculous but expected. That was before the hospital found out that there would be litigation associated with the accident. New bill: $20,211. Galveston Daily News
Jerusalem: At a big-time world gynecology conference last week, all female doctors had to sit together on one side, and only males were allowed to address the audience (because there's that ultra-Orthodox thingy going on). The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
Kermanshah, Iran: A 21-yr-old man got a bad tattoo on his penis (the inker pricked too deep) and now has a permanent semi-hard. (Doctors tried a shunt to drain excess blood, but it didn't work. "[T]he patient has declined to undergo further therapies and lives with his condition.") Journal of Sexual Medicine via ABC News
eBay: [Not clear whether it's a sale or an auction, but] A seller is offering an 8-oz. bottle of swimming pool water swum in by Tom Cruise and family on 7-16-2011 in Miami Beach. Around $100. Jonathan Turley blog
Las Vegas: NOTW readers know about teledildonics (remote sensoring of your woman's vibrator as if you were right there), and now one TD firm is giving away 1,000 kits to wives of deployed U.S. military. PC Magazine
Washington, D.C. (Why voters love government!): All motor fuel companies will pay a big-bucks statutory penalty this year, and next, because they failed to add a certain mandated biofuel to their gasoline . . even though said mandated biofuel does not yet exist. (That's interesting, said EPA, but irrelevant.) New York Times
Coventry, England: An aggressive, malignant mouth tumor was removed bysurgery the patient's coughing it out of her mouth. She's now cancer-free. (Such a result, said her doctor, is "uncommon.") World's Greatest Newspaper
Dayton, Ohio: Bullets are valid holdup weapons only if they're inside a gun. Dayton Daily News
Southwark, England: British justice lowered the boom on a guy with 1,000,000 child porn images. He got one year (suspended), plus treatment and registration as a sex offender. [F State punishment for a million images would include razoring out his eyeballs followed by death in a fire.] World's Greatest Newspaper
Jacksonville, N.C.: [ed.: not sure about this one] Police in Jacksonville, N.C., say the suspect must've smuggled the .22-caliber pistol into jail inside his wazoo (since, after all, we strip-searched him). However, the gun is 10 inches long, and his wazoo wasn't particularly torn up. He said he found the gun in a cell, which, along with "poor strip-search," would be things cops would rather not cop to. Jacksonville Daily News
Grants Pass, Ore.: After the slightly-smaller Roseburg, Ore., installed locally-funded bus shelters for $11k each. Grants Pass installed five, but because it used federal and state funds, with the usual strings attached (for labor, environmental, due-process, etc., mandates), it will pay $106k each. The Oregonian
Thanks to Geoff Egan, Judith Hicks, Gerald Sacks, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors.
The Crème de la Crème, Every Monday
January 16, 2012
(datelines from January 6 or later) (links correct as of January 16)
[Looking for Pro Edition? Here's the explanation.]
Karnataka state, India: The December food-rolling ritual was once again panned by religious leaders. (By century-old tradition, lower-caste people wrap themselves in leftover food from upper-caste people and roll around in it . . to improve the skin. Charming. BBC News
Calabasas, Calif.: The state-of-the-art fertility company PlanetHospital was revealed to have a package for wannabe mothers who are really, really impatient. For an extra fee, they'll up your odds of conception by implanting your eggs into two Indian women at the same time. Downside: Both may work, and it's rude to abort. Slate.com
Athens, Greece: The Labor Ministry beefed up official disability-benefit categories . . to include luckless unfortunates such as kleptomaniacs, exhibitionists, and pedophiles. Associated Press via Washington Post
Texas City, Tex.: An auto accident victim spent 4 hours in the Mainland Medical Center's ER (exam, diagnostic tests) before being released, with the probable bill of $4,850, which is obviously ridiculous but expected. That was before the hospital found out that there would be litigation associated with the accident. New bill: $20,211. Galveston Daily News
Jerusalem: At a big-time world gynecology conference last week, all female doctors had to sit together on one side, and only males were allowed to address the audience (because there's that ultra-Orthodox thingy going on). The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
Kermanshah, Iran: A 21-yr-old man got a bad tattoo on his penis (the inker pricked too deep) and now has a permanent semi-hard. (Doctors tried a shunt to drain excess blood, but it didn't work. "[T]he patient has declined to undergo further therapies and lives with his condition.") Journal of Sexual Medicine via ABC News
eBay: [Not clear whether it's a sale or an auction, but] A seller is offering an 8-oz. bottle of swimming pool water swum in by Tom Cruise and family on 7-16-2011 in Miami Beach. Around $100. Jonathan Turley blog
Las Vegas: NOTW readers know about teledildonics (remote sensoring of your woman's vibrator as if you were right there), and now one TD firm is giving away 1,000 kits to wives of deployed U.S. military. PC Magazine
Washington, D.C. (Why voters love government!): All motor fuel companies will pay a big-bucks statutory penalty this year, and next, because they failed to add a certain mandated biofuel to their gasoline . . even though said mandated biofuel does not yet exist. (That's interesting, said EPA, but irrelevant.) New York Times
Coventry, England: An aggressive, malignant mouth tumor was removed by
Dayton, Ohio: Bullets are valid holdup weapons only if they're inside a gun. Dayton Daily News
Southwark, England: British justice lowered the boom on a guy with 1,000,000 child porn images. He got one year (suspended), plus treatment and registration as a sex offender. [F State punishment for a million images would include razoring out his eyeballs followed by death in a fire.] World's Greatest Newspaper
Jacksonville, N.C.: [ed.: not sure about this one] Police in Jacksonville, N.C., say the suspect must've smuggled the .22-caliber pistol into jail inside his wazoo (since, after all, we strip-searched him). However, the gun is 10 inches long, and his wazoo wasn't particularly torn up. He said he found the gun in a cell, which, along with "poor strip-search," would be things cops would rather not cop to. Jacksonville Daily News
Grants Pass, Ore.: After the slightly-smaller Roseburg, Ore., installed locally-funded bus shelters for $11k each. Grants Pass installed five, but because it used federal and state funds, with the usual strings attached (for labor, environmental, due-process, etc., mandates), it will pay $106k each. The Oregonian
Thanks to Geoff Egan, Judith Hicks, Gerald Sacks, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors.
Comments
Athens: I'm just surprised they didn't add "work-shy" to the list. Or was it on there already?
Pool Cruise: Hmm, I think I've got a bottle of air from the very atmosphere Tom exhaled into on my desk. What's it worth?
Biofuel: I'm guessing the penalty was partly a 'stimulus' to developing the fuel, but that the cost of the fines is far smaller than that of the R&D.
Gun in the Wazoo: Goatse.cx.
Pool Cruise: Hmm, I think I've got a bottle of air from the very atmosphere Tom exhaled into on my desk. What's it worth?
Biofuel: I'm guessing the penalty was partly a 'stimulus' to developing the fuel, but that the cost of the fines is far smaller than that of the R&D.
Gun in the Wazoo: Goatse.cx.
Posted by Dumbfounded on 01/16/12 at 09:45 AM
They're rolling in it- That is just disgusting. Who suddenly decided this was a good idea 100 years ago? Why do they still do it?
Greece- Yes, but we (USA) give SSI (disability) to drug addicts and alcoholics without seriously requiring rehab (successful rehab).
Hospital bill- The hospital should be charged with fraud, the only way to put a stop to this crap is to make the penalties prohibitive.
Jerusalem- Not cool, but to be fair, I doubt the women be stoned to death for non-compliance there.
Tatoo- What a dumbass for getting one there in the first place.
Cruise pool water- Imagine what it would be worth if he'd have peed in it!
Toys for twats- That's one hell of a long distance remote, half the time my TV remote doesn't want to work from across the room.
fuel additive- Play the same game, turn in paperwork detailing the process of adding the stuff. If the existence of it is not an issue then, like they told us in nursing, it doesn't matter what you actually do as long as the paperwork is done right.
bullet w/o gun- Definitely falls under Not Clear On The Concept.
gun in cell- The guy is screwed, they will never admit to a mistake like that.
Bus shelters- Did the military fund the$106K shelters?!?
Great format Chuck, I love it!! Thanks.
Greece- Yes, but we (USA) give SSI (disability) to drug addicts and alcoholics without seriously requiring rehab (successful rehab).
Hospital bill- The hospital should be charged with fraud, the only way to put a stop to this crap is to make the penalties prohibitive.
Jerusalem- Not cool, but to be fair, I doubt the women be stoned to death for non-compliance there.
Tatoo- What a dumbass for getting one there in the first place.
Cruise pool water- Imagine what it would be worth if he'd have peed in it!
Toys for twats- That's one hell of a long distance remote, half the time my TV remote doesn't want to work from across the room.
fuel additive- Play the same game, turn in paperwork detailing the process of adding the stuff. If the existence of it is not an issue then, like they told us in nursing, it doesn't matter what you actually do as long as the paperwork is done right.
bullet w/o gun- Definitely falls under Not Clear On The Concept.
gun in cell- The guy is screwed, they will never admit to a mistake like that.
Bus shelters- Did the military fund the$106K shelters?!?
Great format Chuck, I love it!! Thanks.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 01/16/12 at 11:37 AM
Thanks for another great week Chuck! I like the new format!
Posted by Tyrusguy on 01/17/12 at 04:11 AM
Athens, Greece Finally! I'm eligible for disability!
Texas City Hosp There was an ad on TV here where the dentist said they gave a discount for people without insurance which is an admission that they gouge the insurance companies!! 😖
e-Bay Water The Church has been using this scam for centuries and, amazingly, it still works!
Big Oil I'm out of Missouri stock, I want to see the cash change hands.
@Chuck: The new format works for me too! Great job.
Texas City Hosp There was an ad on TV here where the dentist said they gave a discount for people without insurance which is an admission that they gouge the insurance companies!! 😖
e-Bay Water The Church has been using this scam for centuries and, amazingly, it still works!
Big Oil I'm out of Missouri stock, I want to see the cash change hands.
@Chuck: The new format works for me too! Great job.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 01/17/12 at 05:59 AM
Chuck,
Thanks for a great week of weird news. Hope all is well.
The new format is cool, although your insightful commentary is missed.
😊
Thanks for a great week of weird news. Hope all is well.
The new format is cool, although your insightful commentary is missed.
😊
Posted by GirlgeniusNYC on 01/17/12 at 08:15 PM
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