District of Calamity, a Rubbermaid Hideout, More Senior Confusion
and the Morning Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Friday, December 5, 2008
[editorial speechlessness]
The severely ink-stained Michael Campbell. The Smoking Gun
Comments 'michael_campbell'
District of Calamity: Still crazy after all these years
One day after settling a lawsuit based on the inexplicably fatal 2004 jailhouse mishandling of quadriplegic Jonathan Magbie (arrested for having medical marijuana, which is not legal in D.C.), here we are again. Three D.C. paramedics/EMT's sent to the home of a 911 caller with chest pains diagnosed him as having acid reflux, advised Pepto-Bismol, and left, and six hours later, the man went belly-up. Washington Post Dec. 3 /// Dec. 2
Comments 'district_calamity'
Your Daily Losers
(1) Joseph Womack, 22, was arrested for burglary, found inside the home hiding in a 3-foot by 3-foot by 2-foot high Rubbermaid-type container. KCRA-TV (Sacramento)
(2) F-Stater Janice Benton of Ocala was charged with murdering a man during a fight that started when he got jealous that she was talking to other men in a bar. The lovely Ms. Benton might be fit for this section, but not as much as anyone who would be possessive of Janice Benton. Ocala Star-Banner
Comments 'womack_benton'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Wesley Cox, 44, was busted in Boulder, Colo., standing outside a stranger's window with a video camera. At his home, police found dozens of undergarments and several Boulder High School cheerleaders' uniforms. KMGH-TV (Denver)
Comments 'wesley_cox'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
The justice system really needs you here. Timothy Havens, 38, was charged with shooting his estranged wife in the head while they were having a little bedroom "reunion," but he swears it was just an unfortunate accident while he was reaching for something. WDTN-TV (Dayton, Ohio) via WLFI-TV (Lafayette, Ind.)
Comments 'timothy_havens'
More Things to Worry About on Friday
Slapstick comes to Austin: A home invader fled on foot to a nearby golf course, with police on his heels. He hopped in a golf cart, police hopped in another, and the Mack Sennett comedy was on, zig-zagging over the course. KVUE-TV (Austin, Tex.)
Armless people who can drive cars with their feet are so 20th century because there's now a licensed armless airplane pilot. NBC via KUSA-TV (Denver)
"I'm a good mother . . . I'm a good decisionmaker," said Angela Honeycutt, 39, to the mother of a boy who she admitted showering with and kissing (but not "touching" and certainly no sex). Philadelphia Inquirer
Recurring Theme: Three seniors, blood-alcohol 0.0, trouble distinguishing "brake" from "gas," plowed their cars into various things and people (in Milwaukie, Ore., age 83, driving 50 feet into a sporting goods' store) (in Dallas, age 82, into a Cub Scout troop in a Christmas parade, wounding 12) (in Austin, age 94 and a former state Supreme Court justice, through a retaining wall and into a downtown lake). (Bonus: His Honor still practices law!) Clackamas County Sheriff's Office /// Associated Press via Houston Chronicle /// KEYE-TV (Austin)
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Friday?
Comments 'worry_081205'
[editorial speechlessness]
The severely ink-stained Michael Campbell. The Smoking Gun
Comments 'michael_campbell'
District of Calamity: Still crazy after all these years
One day after settling a lawsuit based on the inexplicably fatal 2004 jailhouse mishandling of quadriplegic Jonathan Magbie (arrested for having medical marijuana, which is not legal in D.C.), here we are again. Three D.C. paramedics/EMT's sent to the home of a 911 caller with chest pains diagnosed him as having acid reflux, advised Pepto-Bismol, and left, and six hours later, the man went belly-up. Washington Post Dec. 3 /// Dec. 2
Comments 'district_calamity'
Your Daily Losers
(1) Joseph Womack, 22, was arrested for burglary, found inside the home hiding in a 3-foot by 3-foot by 2-foot high Rubbermaid-type container. KCRA-TV (Sacramento)
(2) F-Stater Janice Benton of Ocala was charged with murdering a man during a fight that started when he got jealous that she was talking to other men in a bar. The lovely Ms. Benton might be fit for this section, but not as much as anyone who would be possessive of Janice Benton. Ocala Star-Banner
Comments 'womack_benton'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Wesley Cox, 44, was busted in Boulder, Colo., standing outside a stranger's window with a video camera. At his home, police found dozens of undergarments and several Boulder High School cheerleaders' uniforms. KMGH-TV (Denver)
Comments 'wesley_cox'
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
The justice system really needs you here. Timothy Havens, 38, was charged with shooting his estranged wife in the head while they were having a little bedroom "reunion," but he swears it was just an unfortunate accident while he was reaching for something. WDTN-TV (Dayton, Ohio) via WLFI-TV (Lafayette, Ind.)
Comments 'timothy_havens'
More Things to Worry About on Friday
Slapstick comes to Austin: A home invader fled on foot to a nearby golf course, with police on his heels. He hopped in a golf cart, police hopped in another, and the Mack Sennett comedy was on, zig-zagging over the course. KVUE-TV (Austin, Tex.)
Armless people who can drive cars with their feet are so 20th century because there's now a licensed armless airplane pilot. NBC via KUSA-TV (Denver)
"I'm a good mother . . . I'm a good decisionmaker," said Angela Honeycutt, 39, to the mother of a boy who she admitted showering with and kissing (but not "touching" and certainly no sex). Philadelphia Inquirer
Recurring Theme: Three seniors, blood-alcohol 0.0, trouble distinguishing "brake" from "gas," plowed their cars into various things and people (in Milwaukie, Ore., age 83, driving 50 feet into a sporting goods' store) (in Dallas, age 82, into a Cub Scout troop in a Christmas parade, wounding 12) (in Austin, age 94 and a former state Supreme Court justice, through a retaining wall and into a downtown lake). (Bonus: His Honor still practices law!) Clackamas County Sheriff's Office /// Associated Press via Houston Chronicle /// KEYE-TV (Austin)
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Friday?
Comments 'worry_081205'
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