Follies of the Madmen #211

Yes, aliens probably have never had a cup of cocoa until they visit Earth; and if individuals of their kind live for hundreds of years, that would indeed be a very long time to go without cocoa.

But you know what? Aliens, cocoa...? Forget it! I still don't get the connection, no matter how hard I try.

Original ad here. (Scroll down.)

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Alex Boese Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes. Paul Di Filippo Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over forty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. Contact Us

Comments

All the weirder because Nestlé's cocoa-ish drinks are "warmed-up kid's stuff".

Posted by Richard Bos on 09/25/13 at 10:29 AM

"How long has it been since your last alien abduction and probing?" She does look pretty happy to see the little guy.

Posted by KDP on 09/25/13 at 11:45 AM

What Nestles (and Hershy's) does to the cocoa bean should be outlawed & their CEOs shot for wasting essential Earth resources!

BTW, I just had a couple of pieces of 70% Greek Dark Chocolate! :coolsmile:

Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 09/25/13 at 11:52 AM

Both companies have tried to get it so an item sold as chocolate does not have to contain actual cocoa. Fortunately they have failed for the time being. It is that way in Europe though.

Posted by BrokeDad in Midwest US on 09/25/13 at 03:47 PM

What nationality is the other 30%?

Posted by ScoutC on 09/25/13 at 07:45 PM

Who says that's an alien? Look at the ad's date. This may be one of the first thalidomide children. Though the drug apparently made the kid age quickly.

Posted by Phred22 on 09/25/13 at 07:57 PM

OMG Phred!!

Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/25/13 at 09:03 PM

@Scout: When/If I come down off this chocolate high I'll look into it.

Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 09/25/13 at 11:55 PM

70% Greek Chocolate, 30% manna from the heavens! 😛

Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/26/13 at 12:02 AM

He has a mighty long penis.

Posted by dumbledoor on 09/26/13 at 03:28 AM

EUROPE? Europé is a large place with alot of countries and they do differ. Sweden doesn´t fit your comment.

Posted by F.U.D. on 09/26/13 at 03:45 AM

Wait, she has just been gardening, is in the garden, is holding fresh picked flowers, is still wearing her gardening gloves and tool apron, and can suddenly produce a cup of hot brown liquid. That ain't chocolate...

Here's mud in your eye!

Posted by Jim on 09/26/13 at 08:58 AM

Oh, Jim, you, obviously, weren't around when women were REAL wives and mothers and did magical things like cure all ills, await their man at the door with a Martini as he arrived home from a hard day's labor, make hot cocoa while vacuuming the salon, prepared a full five course meal in half an hour because her hubby phoned and told her the boss was coming for supper, and other great feats.

Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 09/26/13 at 09:29 AM

Brokedad: you're thinking of the UK, where chocolate is officially a sub-type of cheese. In the rest of the EU, chocolate means more chocolate than it does in the USA. I've tasted Hershey's, and that stuff wouldn't be made by any firm from Switzerland, Germany, or the Netherlands, let alone Belgium - at least, not under the name of "chocolate". British chocolate, by contrast, is even worse than Hershey's. Cadbury's Yorkie Bars... words fail.

Captcha: eur86ope!

Posted by Richard Bos on 09/26/13 at 01:48 PM

Thanks for the information on it being just UK. I do know that Godiva, Dove, Kirchmayr etc chocolates have gotten me out of the "doghouse" on many an occasion.

Posted by BrokeDad in Midwest US on 09/26/13 at 05:28 PM

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