Follies of the Madmen #437

1) A bicycle tire confusingly has the same name as a razor blade company.

2) The mascot for the tire is a hyper-dimensional polar bear. These creatures apparently represent all that is desirable in a tire.

3) Even with its magic powers, the hyper-dimensional polar bear does not act to save the victim directly, but makes the human boy do all the work.

4) Moral: buy our tires to avoid snake bites?

Source (page 20).

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Alex Boese Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes. Paul Di Filippo Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over forty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. Contact Us

Comments

Keep your tires in warranty or learn first aid?

Posted by Virtual in Carnate on 07/28/19 at 08:24 AM

5) The bear resembles a cat.

Posted by ges on 07/28/19 at 09:52 AM

Ha, ha! The joke's on me. I just glanced at the sponsor's name in the lower right and didn't get past the Gillette name and then read the copy. I wondered why there was no mention of a razor blade until I got to the end of the copy.

Posted by KDP on 07/28/19 at 09:58 AM

So either the bear doesn't have a mouth that allows suction or he's just a hallucination caused by the snake venom. Also, good thing this snake didn't bite the boy in the nether region, or the question of where to put the tourniquet would have been quickly forgotten while the other boy just bike away.

Posted by Yudith on 07/29/19 at 05:52 AM

The kid who's hallucinating isn't the one who was bitten. BTW, Gillette was bought out by U.S. Rubber, which eventually became Uniroyal, which merged with B.F. Goodrich under the Goodrich name. Shortly later that was bought by Michelin. It's all here: http://digicoll.library.wisc.edu/cgi/f/findaid/findaid-idx?c=wiarchives;cc=wiarchives;view=reslist;rgn=main;didno=uw-whs-ec00cb;subview=standard;focusrgn=bioghist;byte=588408327

Posted by ges on 07/29/19 at 09:35 PM

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