Lawyers paid

If lawyers got paid by the word
Associated Press ran a blurb yesterday about a Tacoma, Wash., judge who, frustrated with a humongously long pleading (465 pages; usually, they’re just a couple of pages), dismissed it with a limerick. Particulars of the filing: The title is 8 pages long; the six defendants are described in the next 18 pages. “Plaintiffs allegations continue for 87 pages,” wrote the judge, “including a 37-page pit-stop to quote emails.” Here’s one of the lawyer’s paragraphs:

Plaintiffs, for a Fifty-Fourth Claim for Relief, reallege and incorporate herein Paragraphs 1 through 105, including the First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, Ninth, Tenth, Eleventh, Twelfth, Thirteenth, Fourteenth, Fifteenth, Sixteenth, Seventeenth, Eighteenth, Nineteenth, Twentieth, Twenty-First, Twenty-Second, Twenty-Third, Twenty-Fourth, Twenty-Fifth, Twenty-Sixth, and Twenty-Seventh Claims for Relief alleged under the federal Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act of 1970 [“RICO”] [Title 18, U.S.C.A. Sections 1981 et seq], and the Twenty-Eighth, Twenty-Ninth, Thirtieth, Thirty-First, Thirty-Second, Thirty-Third, Thirty-Fourth, Thirty-Fifth, Thirty-Sixth, Thirty-Seventh, Thirty-Eighth, Thirty-Ninth, Fortieth, Forty-First, Forty-Second, Forty-Third, Forty-Fourth, Forty-Fifth, Forty-Sixth, Forty-Seventh, Forty-Eighth, Forty-Ninth, Fiftieth, Fifty-First, Fifty-Second, and Fifty-Third Claims for Relief.

A Comments thread is open for constructing personality profiles of the attorney, Dean Browning Webb. Hit him with your best shot. U.S. District Court Order [link from HowAppealing.Law.com blog] [via Wall Street Journal Law blog]