The Loved One Launcher

Starting at $375.00 from CremationSolutions.com.

The Loved One Launcher is the only device of its kind that will shoot earthly remains over seventy feet into the air!!, allowing for a wide dispersal of ashes that can be observed by all in attendance. To add to the celebration, ashes can be mixed with confetti or even streamers for a dreamy visual effect, creating a beautiful, joyful scene that sets the perfect tone. Paying homage to a loved one’s life is simple and intimate with what feels almost like a daytime fireworks display in their honor. The Launcher should not be aimed at any structure or living thing as its blast is powerful.

They should next come out with a catapult model for non-cremated loved ones.

via Dave Barry

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Alex Boese Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes. Paul Di Filippo Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over forty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. Contact Us

Posted By: Alex - Sun May 08, 2022
Category: Death

Comments

Hunter S. Thompson was sent off this way. Obviously, going out with a bang is the way to go!

Posted by KEVIN D POTTORFF on 05/08/22 at 10:33 AM

Like a potato gun. What a way to go. I like it but do not think the wife would go for it. 😉

Posted by Mike on 05/08/22 at 11:22 AM

I just want to be scattered over my favorite places.
Also, no cremation.

Posted by Mike on 05/08/22 at 08:03 PM

When I was but a lad, I read a poem about an elderly man whose will stipulated he be cremated and how his remains were to be handled. The only line I remember is: ". . . a tart young trustee to carry his ashes once more." I was old enough to figure out it was dirty, but I didn't know what it meant. To be honest, I still don't understand the reference. Unfortunately, Google is no help at all.

Posted by Phideaux on 05/08/22 at 10:11 PM

I want to be buried without a coffin, and have a beech tree planted on top of me.

Posted by Richard Bos on 05/14/22 at 03:24 PM

Mike, maybe you could be freeze-dried? I heard of a company that freeze-dries your loved ones in an attempt to be more ecological than cremation. Then, I also heard about freeze-dried cat treats...

Posted by Yudith on 05/15/22 at 05:36 AM

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