[News] More Things to Worry About Today

Misunderstood the question
I understand the 'having the house to yourself' thing but, geesh! Does it have to be in front of the window?

I guess after a few times the window would have frosted glass. 🙄

live in same apartment complex
What, being turned down by one wife isn't enough?

because of flagrant farting
It's not fair to drop a bomb like that on the kid's parents. This story is a gas.

Dog feces - I guess I'm just ignorant, but I've never heard of a dog needing an enema. The uptight owner, maybe, but not the dog.

Misunderstood the question - Fun Fact: Here in Canada (Ontario, anyway), it is entirely legal to masturbate in your home, with the lights on, with the windows/blinds open. People aren't required to look at you, so the onus is on them to ignore your... doings.

Two wives - Bigger balls, smaller brain.

dog poo I guess she just used whatever came to hand in the moment.

Calf. Whacker Speaking of whatever comes to hand.

Bigamist Guess he never heard the old saw about not sh1tt1ng in you own back yard.

Farting We seem to be stuck on poo today for some reason.

Wenthral, what brought all this on?

Maxx, can't speak to dogs needing an enema but I've had to give one to a horse. Seriously not fun!

Wenthral, yikes dude...I'm surprised you're not dead.

Expat, yikes dude...I'm surprised you're not dead.

Dog - Have me all missed the nema was at the mall?? WTF?? Of all the things in this story, no one thought that was weird? The words "When I give my dog an enema, he prefers to be on the bench located between the Gap and Abercrombie and Fitch" have never before even crossed my mind. But now the have and I feel strangely relieved.

Window - So... Garden gnomes. I really have nothing to say about this.

Bigamist - I know most of us have trouble keeping one person happy, why would you want to double the aggrivation. And just how dimwitted are the ladies not to see him with the other? This dude must have some serious ninja skills.

Farting - Flagrant? I figured that was any farting. And how do you categorize excessive. What if the poor lad had sauerkraut and baked beans the night before? He would be a victim of circumstance. The picture of him is funny though. He looks like his dad just farted and the smell just hit his nostrils. :lol:

Actually, Maxx, I got quite a kick out of it.

Well I crawled out the door of a soda truck going 55mph down the highway, climbed up on top, grabed a couple of drinks, passed them down to the driver, then crawled back in the door as my #1 right of passage into adulthood.

when i was a kid we had a mentally challenged man living in the neighborhood. he would expose himself to anyone from his front porch and i saw him a few times (i was about 12 or so). it was really no big deal. the cops would talk to him, he would stop for a few weeks, then start again, the cops would talk to him, it was a routine. in fact we all got used to it. granted, he wasn't diddling himself but still...it just wasn't a big deal. and i turned out just fine. oooohhhhh, wait, i do read WU as my primary form of internet entertainment...uh-oh.... :gulp:

Wenthral - No offense but you sound like the kid in the neighborhood that all the parents wouldn't want their kids hangin' around with. But hey, every neighborhood needs at least one. 😉

Rule #1 - Never pour a large glass container full of powdered explosive (magnesium powder/potassium perchlorate) onto a board near a fire with the wind blowing.

Kay - I know about the dogs' anal glands. My neighbor has an english bulldog that gets excessively smelly if her glands are not squeezed. The chihuahua we had when I was growing up never once had its glands squeezed. I assume, at this point, that the (dire) need to do so may be dependent on breed. My dog is a mutt so I'll play it by ear and follow the advice of our vet.

patty, yes it's disgusting I'm sure. I expect that you, like myself, have never owned a breed that needed it.

To give legitimacy to the practice, here's an article about it.
http://www.raisingspot.com/health_care/dog_anal_gland.php

Let me chime in (as many of you know, as a former Vet Tech) on the whole enema/anal glad thing...

Yes, they need enema's if they get consitapted, as they most certainly can, just like any other being that poops.
The action of pooping is supposed to express the contents of the anal glands onto the feces on its way out by design of nature. This doesn't always happen. Some pets get the genetic short stick in the area and need their loving owners to do, or have it done, otherwise they can get impacted and become even nastier than they naturally are. Expressing them is done by sticking 1 finger an inch or two into the bum, crooking it, and pulling out. With gauze to catch the dead-fish-smelling substance on its way out of course.

Enough with that - the main point is I had the same initial thought as DownCrisis...this was in a mall? WTF!

Thanks for clearing that up Jules. I felt like the conversation was getting a bit constipated. Thanks for moving it along.

patty, I didn't get upset. I was learning a little bit myself about a subject I never gave much thought to before. And I agree that if my dogs needs it done, someone will be getting paid to do it.

wenthral, the only thing you missed were aerosol cans and a cigarette lighter. (or did you?) I managed to set my basement on fire putting on a flamethrowing show for a crowd of neighborhood kids.

mrjazz - A kid I went to school with burned his whole house down when he was with his friends on his enclosed porch spraying bugs with WD-40 until they stopped moving then lighting them on fire. We were in 10th grade when he did this.

patty - I gave it up for a variety of completely uninteresting reasons. Suffice to say, I miss working with animals, but the job I have now is where I belong.