News of the Weird (12-18-2012)
The News of the Weird Blog
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Hand-Picked and Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
© 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Belgium: Bless Huffington Post’s heart. They found a boutique hotel at about $150 a night, and by “boutique,” I mean shaped like a human colon, a brown human colon, lying out in a field, with heat and showers and rather cramped rooms. Somebody had to think up this idea. Must have been “an artist.” Huffington Post
Springfield, Mass.: How befuddled a person do you have to be to go to city hall to pay a traffic ticket and wind up on jury duty in an assault case? The Republican (Springfield)
Tobyhanna Township, Pa.: The driver was DUI so the cops searched passenger Jasmine Ackerman, 33, whose bra housed 170 “packets of heroin” and some marijuana. Boobular symmetry would require 85 per cup, but maybe that’s being too picky. The Morning Call (Allentown)
UK: The “human Barbie,” Sarah Burge, who has had 100 cosmetic procedures over the yrs and has been tricking up her two daughters, 15 and 8, announced she’d spend about $29,000 on tarting up the two and their older sibling for Christmas this yr. World’s Greatest Newspaper
Spartanburg, S.C.: Could Benjamin Greene, 22, have reached the most dismal state of masculinity? He (1) clumsily tried to shoplift something from a (2) Spencer’s Gifts store. It was a (3) blow-up doll. Of (4) Miley Cyrus. Spelled “Milie Cyrus” and (5) didn’t even resemble her in the least except for the packaging. And on top of all that, he got caught. And on top-top of all that, he has to live with a bully-goading babyface. The Smoking Gun
Boca Raton, Fla.: Pity the defense counsel, who might have to argue to a jury that Jesse Russell, 31, is innocent of selling drugs. South Florida Sun Sentinel
Perspective: Two yrs down the road after passage of the federal fund for World Trade Center first responders’ healthcare costs, the Staten Island Advance laments that that borough’s claimants have receiveddamned little payout utterly zilch. Staten Island Advance
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Hand-Picked and Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
© 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Belgium: Bless Huffington Post’s heart. They found a boutique hotel at about $150 a night, and by “boutique,” I mean shaped like a human colon, a brown human colon, lying out in a field, with heat and showers and rather cramped rooms. Somebody had to think up this idea. Must have been “an artist.” Huffington Post
Springfield, Mass.: How befuddled a person do you have to be to go to city hall to pay a traffic ticket and wind up on jury duty in an assault case? The Republican (Springfield)
Tobyhanna Township, Pa.: The driver was DUI so the cops searched passenger Jasmine Ackerman, 33, whose bra housed 170 “packets of heroin” and some marijuana. Boobular symmetry would require 85 per cup, but maybe that’s being too picky. The Morning Call (Allentown)
UK: The “human Barbie,” Sarah Burge, who has had 100 cosmetic procedures over the yrs and has been tricking up her two daughters, 15 and 8, announced she’d spend about $29,000 on tarting up the two and their older sibling for Christmas this yr. World’s Greatest Newspaper
Spartanburg, S.C.: Could Benjamin Greene, 22, have reached the most dismal state of masculinity? He (1) clumsily tried to shoplift something from a (2) Spencer’s Gifts store. It was a (3) blow-up doll. Of (4) Miley Cyrus. Spelled “Milie Cyrus” and (5) didn’t even resemble her in the least except for the packaging. And on top of all that, he got caught. And on top-top of all that, he has to live with a bully-goading babyface. The Smoking Gun
Boca Raton, Fla.: Pity the defense counsel, who might have to argue to a jury that Jesse Russell, 31, is innocent of selling drugs. South Florida Sun Sentinel
Perspective: Two yrs down the road after passage of the federal fund for World Trade Center first responders’ healthcare costs, the Staten Island Advance laments that that borough’s claimants have received
Comments
Belgium: Looks like you don't get to go in the back door up there either!
Springfield: D'ho!
Human Barbie: Her kids, her money! BTW, this one looks more like Barbie. See Barbie
Spartanburg: He looks a little wimpy to be a Spartan.
Boca Raton: "Two officers first noticed Russell while conducting surveillance..." Seriously on the ball cops!
Perspective: Most everything surrounding the World Trade Center could be held up as a joke if it weren't such a bureaucratic cluster foul-up.
Thanks Chuck: One for the road!
Springfield: D'ho!
Human Barbie: Her kids, her money! BTW, this one looks more like Barbie. See Barbie
Spartanburg: He looks a little wimpy to be a Spartan.
Boca Raton: "Two officers first noticed Russell while conducting surveillance..." Seriously on the ball cops!
Perspective: Most everything surrounding the World Trade Center could be held up as a joke if it weren't such a bureaucratic cluster foul-up.
Thanks Chuck: One for the road!
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 12/19/12 at 12:23 AM
Chuck!!
Thanks for a great week of weird news.
The World Trade Center mess is particularly sad.
But the blow-up doll and heroin bra made me smile. Ha ha ha.
Rock on!
Thanks for a great week of weird news.
The World Trade Center mess is particularly sad.
But the blow-up doll and heroin bra made me smile. Ha ha ha.
Rock on!
Posted by girlgeniusNYC on 12/19/12 at 11:51 AM
Commenting is not available in this channel entry.
Category: