News of the Weird 2.0 (June 7, 2012)
News of the Weird 2.0
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012
Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
June 7, 2012
(datelines from May 31 or later) (links correct as of June 7)
★ ★ ★ ★!
Movie Cliche Come to Life: In Poplar Bluff, Mo., five teenagers sat in a car parked on railroad tracks, at night, playing "Ghost Train," i.e., telling scary stories. Then what? Anyone? Right, a train comes along. Then what? Anyone? Right, car won't start. Five went out that evening, three came home. St. Louis Post-Dispatch
People Different From Us
Chutzpah! Detroit's chutzpahtic former mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, now on parole after being convicted of lying repeatedly in court, objected to the part of his sentence that requires 16 hours' community service a month. Gee, he wrote (as he awaits his federal corruption trial), "16" is really gonna mess my schedule up, what with all the paid speeches I'm booked for. Associated Press via Statesman.com (Austin, Tex.)
Stillwater, Minn.: Yikes. Supposedly, Nicholas Doyle and Ashley Brooker got all their blemishes from days-long meth use. Ewwww! City Pages (Minneapolis)
Funny Old Country
A school official in Middleboro, Mass., got in trouble for actually accepting a "note from home" excusing little Gannon, 6, from a school activity. It was written in "fluorescent yellow marker on finger-paint paper" and read [sic], "Dery Mrs. Trorryry: Gannon is not going to the program." WCVB-TV (Boston)
Houston: "Blanca," a mother of four, got caught in the middle of a Chase bank robbery, got scared to death, ran from the bank, saw an idling car, jumped in, and floored it for a safe distance before abandoning it. And the car belonged to? Anyone? Yes, it was the getaway car. KHOU-TV (Houston)
Aurora, Colo.: Police enforcing a seat-belt law stopped a car because the front-seat people weren't belted. In the back seat, though, was a gas can belted into a child-safety seat, and a diaper-wearing toddler free-ranging. Awkward. TheDenverChannel.com
News of the Weird 1.0
Again: In Edinburgh, Scotland, Scott Western, 44, was charged with beating up on his wife--even though, Scott points out, she had signed an S&M contract allowing him to punish her for breaking certain household rules. The Scotsman
Update: A small gathering in Shingo, Japan, staged their annual celebration at the site of Jesus's tomb. Wait, what? (You must be behind the curve. Jesus moved to Shingo after the Resurrection, lived quietly, and died of natural causes.) The Japan Times
Your Daily Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
Surprise, Ariz.: Kristopher Harvey, 32, stands charged with administering tough love to his early-teen sons, who had raided dad's liquor cabinet. Do we need a trial? AzFamily.com (Phoenix)
Thanks to Paul Peterson, Harry Thompson, and Sandy Pearlman, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors.
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012
Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
June 7, 2012
(datelines from May 31 or later) (links correct as of June 7)
★ ★ ★ ★!
Movie Cliche Come to Life: In Poplar Bluff, Mo., five teenagers sat in a car parked on railroad tracks, at night, playing "Ghost Train," i.e., telling scary stories. Then what? Anyone? Right, a train comes along. Then what? Anyone? Right, car won't start. Five went out that evening, three came home. St. Louis Post-Dispatch
People Different From Us
Chutzpah! Detroit's chutzpahtic former mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, now on parole after being convicted of lying repeatedly in court, objected to the part of his sentence that requires 16 hours' community service a month. Gee, he wrote (as he awaits his federal corruption trial), "16" is really gonna mess my schedule up, what with all the paid speeches I'm booked for. Associated Press via Statesman.com (Austin, Tex.)
Stillwater, Minn.: Yikes. Supposedly, Nicholas Doyle and Ashley Brooker got all their blemishes from days-long meth use. Ewwww! City Pages (Minneapolis)
Funny Old Country
A school official in Middleboro, Mass., got in trouble for actually accepting a "note from home" excusing little Gannon, 6, from a school activity. It was written in "fluorescent yellow marker on finger-paint paper" and read [sic], "Dery Mrs. Trorryry: Gannon is not going to the program." WCVB-TV (Boston)
Houston: "Blanca," a mother of four, got caught in the middle of a Chase bank robbery, got scared to death, ran from the bank, saw an idling car, jumped in, and floored it for a safe distance before abandoning it. And the car belonged to? Anyone? Yes, it was the getaway car. KHOU-TV (Houston)
Aurora, Colo.: Police enforcing a seat-belt law stopped a car because the front-seat people weren't belted. In the back seat, though, was a gas can belted into a child-safety seat, and a diaper-wearing toddler free-ranging. Awkward. TheDenverChannel.com
News of the Weird 1.0
Again: In Edinburgh, Scotland, Scott Western, 44, was charged with beating up on his wife--even though, Scott points out, she had signed an S&M contract allowing him to punish her for breaking certain household rules. The Scotsman
Update: A small gathering in Shingo, Japan, staged their annual celebration at the site of Jesus's tomb. Wait, what? (You must be behind the curve. Jesus moved to Shingo after the Resurrection, lived quietly, and died of natural causes.) The Japan Times
Your Daily Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
Surprise, Ariz.: Kristopher Harvey, 32, stands charged with administering tough love to his early-teen sons, who had raided dad's liquor cabinet. Do we need a trial? AzFamily.com (Phoenix)
Thanks to Paul Peterson, Harry Thompson, and Sandy Pearlman, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors.
Comments
With the price of gas these days I can totally understand the one. It went up here today 26 cents from the price yesterday. I don't understand the massive sudden fluctuations.
I'm gonna start on my gas can safety seats right now !!!
(Really though I bet it was because it's so hard to fill one and not have it spill or splash as most have crappy seals etc. We always just fill ours half way to avoid it. It's a smell that lasts forever in your car too if you've ever experienced it.)
I'm gonna start on my gas can safety seats right now !!!
(Really though I bet it was because it's so hard to fill one and not have it spill or splash as most have crappy seals etc. We always just fill ours half way to avoid it. It's a smell that lasts forever in your car too if you've ever experienced it.)
Posted by BrokeDad in Midwest US on 06/07/12 at 03:52 PM
My compatriot has apparently taken 50 Shades of Grey a little to much to heart. :roll:
Meth binge: Love the final paragraph: "You don't ever want to end up looking like either of these two, right kids? So stay away from crank, and if your face happens to itch for a non-meth related reason, remember to scratch it gently. " Plus, it looks like his Mom was right - his face *did* stay like that. Or, at least his left eye did.
Surprise!: he's practicing that look so he can look mean in prison pink.
Meth binge: Love the final paragraph: "You don't ever want to end up looking like either of these two, right kids? So stay away from crank, and if your face happens to itch for a non-meth related reason, remember to scratch it gently. " Plus, it looks like his Mom was right - his face *did* stay like that. Or, at least his left eye did.
Surprise!: he's practicing that look so he can look mean in prison pink.
Posted by TheCannyScot in Atlanta, GA on 06/07/12 at 04:58 PM
Is it only in America that politicians who break the law still book speaking engagements? Clinton, Marion Barry (people pay him to speak, right?) Oh dear.
Can I blame a Kardashian? Or Snooki? (ha ha ha)
Can I blame a Kardashian? Or Snooki? (ha ha ha)
Posted by girlgeniusNYC on 06/07/12 at 05:24 PM
Meth - Pro-Tip for those prone to chemical refreshment or insomnia: It's not the meth that makes you this crazy, it's not sleeping for 6 days.
Posted by BHicks on 06/07/12 at 09:34 PM
Ghost Train Yo! God! We'll have a couple of Darwins over here.
6yo Forger Found photo - Watch This
Tx. Bank Robbery We've not said the words for a while so here goes: "ONE CRIME AT A TIME".
Safe Gas Can Dumb and dumber - She decided to explain why! Watch This
Jury Duty Sorry, not enough facts to come to a conclusion. Sounds like age-old punishment method.
6yo Forger Found photo - Watch This
Tx. Bank Robbery We've not said the words for a while so here goes: "ONE CRIME AT A TIME".
Safe Gas Can Dumb and dumber - She decided to explain why! Watch This
Jury Duty Sorry, not enough facts to come to a conclusion. Sounds like age-old punishment method.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 06/08/12 at 01:34 AM
train- Most of the time its funny when kid do dumb stuff. But when a dumb kid's mistake costs them their lives it is simply tragic.
ex mayor- Well maybe he should be required to donate a substantial portion of his speaking fees in lieu of the community service.
Meth- OMG! At least the same one doesn't have the blemishes AND the screwy eye.
note- Well, have you seen how some of these teeny bopper parents write?
Run Forr..Blanca- That is so great! Did the bank robbers want to press charges for their stolen vehicle?
S&M- I'd guess that if the cops found out she was no longer a willing participant.
Jesus in Japan- Sounds like the Japanese version of the book of Mormon.
jury duty- He looks like a pudgy version of the guy with the screwy eye.
ex mayor- Well maybe he should be required to donate a substantial portion of his speaking fees in lieu of the community service.
Meth- OMG! At least the same one doesn't have the blemishes AND the screwy eye.
note- Well, have you seen how some of these teeny bopper parents write?
Run Forr..Blanca- That is so great! Did the bank robbers want to press charges for their stolen vehicle?
S&M- I'd guess that if the cops found out she was no longer a willing participant.
Jesus in Japan- Sounds like the Japanese version of the book of Mormon.
jury duty- He looks like a pudgy version of the guy with the screwy eye.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 06/08/12 at 10:47 PM
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