News of the Weird 2.0 (September 23, 2013)
News of the Weird 2.0
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
September 23, 2013
(datelines September 14-September 21) (links correct as of September 22)
Tacky Tacky: A colleague ratted out Beverly Hills, Calif., police Sgt. Terry Nutall for sneaking a peek (for “no legitimate law enforcement purpose”) in February 2012 as ambulance personnel were hauling away the nude body of Whitney Houston. “Damn, she’s still looking good, huh [after briefly pulling the sheet down past her hoo-hahtic area]?” Los Angeles Times via Kansas City Star
The Hipster Industry: (1) Gawker came across a Brooklyn woman trying to create a job for herself as a “book therapist” ($30 an hour for helping clients figure out what to read, buy, give). (2) The Brooklyn restaurant Eat has begun featuring a Sunday dinner at which conversation is banned. Purpose: contemplation, focus. Gawker /// Wall Street Journal
“UCLA Doctors Successfully ‘Vacuum’ 2-foot Blood Clot Out of Patient’s Heart” (as an alternative to open-heart surgery). Whoa! UCLA Press Release
The city council of Topeka, Kan., empowered the Human Rights Commission to do even more things that horrify its homies at Westboro Baptist Church. (Bonus: One councilman is openly bi-sexual, and it’s not even chairman Chad Manspeaker.) Predictably, Westboro then poured a big pitcher of hate on ‘em. Huffington Post
Perspective: Floridians have been under water-use restriction ever since I moved here in the early 1990s. (Basically, it’s a miracle of nature that all these people and golf courses magically get water whenever they turn on the tap.) Now, the water management district in central Florida is about to allow Niagara Bottling Company to double its water contract, taking more than 300m gallons of my water a year out of state. Officials: What crisis? Orlando Sentinel
Round Up the Usual Suspect: Indicted for child rape in Chattanooga, Tenn., was Mr. John A. Raper, 19. Times Free Press (Chattanooga)
Christopher Deas has been banned from the University of North Carolina-Greensboro campus after one too many incidents of foot worship . . crawling around on the floor under library tables. WGHP-TV (Greensboro)
A UK appeals tribunal reinstated a Welsh cop, ruling that he had every right to take a break once in a while for a “spot of tea’--or to nail a married woman not his wife, either one. (Bonus: He conscientiously kept his gun at the ready, i.e., around his ankles, the whole time.) BBC News
[Editor’s Note: Still futzing with NOTW 2.0 style and format. More stories tomorrow.]
Your Weekly Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . . until the mug shot is released]
Tori Manger, 19, and Tawny Manger, 23, were charged with assisting their mom’s scheme to steal from the animal shelter where mom worked, near N’awlins. Damn right they were railroaded! Free the Manger Two! Yowza! Hubba hubba! WWL Radio
Newsrangers: Sandy Pearlman, Neb Rodgers, Steve Dunn, John McGaw, David Swanson, and the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
September 23, 2013
(datelines September 14-September 21) (links correct as of September 22)
Tacky Tacky: A colleague ratted out Beverly Hills, Calif., police Sgt. Terry Nutall for sneaking a peek (for “no legitimate law enforcement purpose”) in February 2012 as ambulance personnel were hauling away the nude body of Whitney Houston. “Damn, she’s still looking good, huh [after briefly pulling the sheet down past her hoo-hahtic area]?” Los Angeles Times via Kansas City Star
The Hipster Industry: (1) Gawker came across a Brooklyn woman trying to create a job for herself as a “book therapist” ($30 an hour for helping clients figure out what to read, buy, give). (2) The Brooklyn restaurant Eat has begun featuring a Sunday dinner at which conversation is banned. Purpose: contemplation, focus. Gawker /// Wall Street Journal
“UCLA Doctors Successfully ‘Vacuum’ 2-foot Blood Clot Out of Patient’s Heart” (as an alternative to open-heart surgery). Whoa! UCLA Press Release
The city council of Topeka, Kan., empowered the Human Rights Commission to do even more things that horrify its homies at Westboro Baptist Church. (Bonus: One councilman is openly bi-sexual, and it’s not even chairman Chad Manspeaker.) Predictably, Westboro then poured a big pitcher of hate on ‘em. Huffington Post
Perspective: Floridians have been under water-use restriction ever since I moved here in the early 1990s. (Basically, it’s a miracle of nature that all these people and golf courses magically get water whenever they turn on the tap.) Now, the water management district in central Florida is about to allow Niagara Bottling Company to double its water contract, taking more than 300m gallons of my water a year out of state. Officials: What crisis? Orlando Sentinel
Round Up the Usual Suspect: Indicted for child rape in Chattanooga, Tenn., was Mr. John A. Raper, 19. Times Free Press (Chattanooga)
Christopher Deas has been banned from the University of North Carolina-Greensboro campus after one too many incidents of foot worship . . crawling around on the floor under library tables. WGHP-TV (Greensboro)
A UK appeals tribunal reinstated a Welsh cop, ruling that he had every right to take a break once in a while for a “spot of tea’--or to nail a married woman not his wife, either one. (Bonus: He conscientiously kept his gun at the ready, i.e., around his ankles, the whole time.) BBC News
[Editor’s Note: Still futzing with NOTW 2.0 style and format. More stories tomorrow.]
Your Weekly Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . . until the mug shot is released]
Tori Manger, 19, and Tawny Manger, 23, were charged with assisting their mom’s scheme to steal from the animal shelter where mom worked, near N’awlins. Damn right they were railroaded! Free the Manger Two! Yowza! Hubba hubba! WWL Radio
Newsrangers: Sandy Pearlman, Neb Rodgers, Steve Dunn, John McGaw, David Swanson, and the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
Comments
Tacky Tacky Shameful Eyeful. I'd never peek! :coolsmile:
Book Therapist Hell, why not?!? These kids today can't seem to make a decision all on their own anyhow. Que Dr. John Bridge, "A foole and his money is soone parted.".
A UCLA Vacuum' It couldn't have been that hard most of Mexafornia is living in a vacuum anyhow.
Westboro Church May the bird of paradise fly up their a....s!
Flow-Ridda Water Problems Ain't hurricane season about to hit? That should fill the cricks, ponds, and sink-holes back up.
Christopher Deas "One too many"????? That number should have been exactly ONE to start with.
Jury Duty Not Guilty!!!! There can be no other decision.
Book Therapist Hell, why not?!? These kids today can't seem to make a decision all on their own anyhow. Que Dr. John Bridge, "A foole and his money is soone parted.".
A UCLA Vacuum' It couldn't have been that hard most of Mexafornia is living in a vacuum anyhow.
Westboro Church May the bird of paradise fly up their a....s!
Flow-Ridda Water Problems Ain't hurricane season about to hit? That should fill the cricks, ponds, and sink-holes back up.
Christopher Deas "One too many"????? That number should have been exactly ONE to start with.
Jury Duty Not Guilty!!!! There can be no other decision.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 09/23/13 at 09:54 AM
no peeking- There is a small town locally here where it was rumored (years ago, I was in high school at the time) the city cops got a 'special' viewing of a teen girl who was killed in a hit and run accident. That crap goes on all the time.
books- aleves the need for independent thought.
dinner quiet- Relieves the need to express independent thought.
blood clot- Yea Hoover!
Westboro- They have gotten more press than they deserve already f%&k 'em.
Florida- $$$$$
Raper- Doomed by a name?
UNC- Maybe he was studying podiatry.
Welsh cop- A spot of tea and some spotted dick?
jury duty- They are blondes, someone must have tricked them into it.
books- aleves the need for independent thought.
dinner quiet- Relieves the need to express independent thought.
blood clot- Yea Hoover!
Westboro- They have gotten more press than they deserve already f%&k 'em.
Florida- $$$$$
Raper- Doomed by a name?
UNC- Maybe he was studying podiatry.
Welsh cop- A spot of tea and some spotted dick?
jury duty- They are blondes, someone must have tricked them into it.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/23/13 at 11:01 PM
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