News of the Weird (April 26, 2015)
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M420, April 26, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
World’s Worst Sculptor: It seemed like a good idea when the town of Celoron, N.Y., agreed in 2009 to pay for a bronze statue honoring the village’s only celebrity. Lucille Ball had spent her childhood years there, and even today, everyone “Love[s] Lucy.” The result was apparently a monstrosity, described today in news reports as “frightening” and unrecognizable by anyone who has ever watched Lucy’s TV shows or movies. http://bit.ly/1OmMjl4). The original sculptor first suggested a fee of $8,000-$10,000 to make a better one, but after Mayor Scott Schrencengost started a fundraising compaign, the sculptor offered to make another one for free. [CNN, 4-7-2015] [Google Images]
Wait, What?
Tough Love: A Catholic priest (unnamed in news reports) in Taranto, Italy, was removed recently after reports that, attempting to minister to an unemployed laborer, he arranged for online role-playing in which the man was Judas and the priest had dispatched him to gay orgies to be punished (for betraying Jesus) by members of the Vatican security force. [Daily Mail (London), 4-8-2015]
Paulo Silva, 51, facing bestiality charges in April in Framingham (Mass.) District Court, insisted that the charges be reduced only to attempted larceny. Yes, he was caught fondling the male purebred pitbull, but he had no sexual motivation, his lawyer explained. Actually, he said a friend of Silva’s owned a female pitbull and had asked the male’s owner if the two dogs could mate, but when the friend declined, Silva said he was simply trying to collect the sperm, himself. Judge Jennifer Stark was unmoved and set the case for trial. [Metrowest Daily News (Framingham), 4-10-2015]
Leading Economic Indicators
In additional fallout from the budget cuts and personnel reductions at the IRS, the supervisory revenue official for the Dallas region disclosed in April that his office had so few collectors that it would only pursue scofflaws who owe the government at least $1 million. “I have to say,” the supervisor told a reporter, “nobody’s ever going to knock on [the] door” of anyone who owes from $100,000 to $999,999. [Washington Post, 4-8-2015]
Unclear on the Concept
At Australia’s sixth annual National Disability Summit in Melbourne in March, all of the speakers except one were able-bodied. That person, in a wheelchair, had to be lifted up to the stage because there was no ramp. Furthermore, disabled activists in attendance told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. that the “disabled” section’s table was at the back of the room, the food tables were elevated to accommodate standers, and one accessible toilet was being used as storage space. [Australian Broadcasting Corp. News, 3-26-2015]
Bright Ideas
German high school student Simon Schrader, 17, preparing for the all-important “Abitur” advanced-level tests to identify top-performing students, filed a formal request in April, under North Rhine-Westphalia state’s generous freedom-of-information law, for an advance copy of the test. “I just wanted to see what they would say,” he said. (He filed a little late, in that the state’s deadline for responding came after most of the testing.) [The Guardian (London), 4-9-2015]
Raising Our Most Delicate Generation: In preparation for the March National Union of Students Women’s Conference in Solihull, England, some attendees requested that clapping for any of the speakers be discouraged but that approval from the audience be expressed by “jazz hands”--open hands, palm directed to the stage, and the fingers extended wildly. Using “jazz hands” would show compassion for however many attendees have anxiety and other disorders, and for speakers who might be distracted by the din of approval. [BBC News, 3-24-2015]
People Different From Us
Venezuelan women’s well-known obsession over bodily beauty usually focuses on face, breasts, and buttocks (and model Aleira Avendano has certainly had those surgeries). However, Avendano’s signature feature is her 20-inch waist, which she says has been maintained by wearing an absurdly tight corset for 23 hours a day for the past six years. “I wash myself and rest for an hour, and then I put it on again. At first, it was terrible, then I got used to it, and [it] became a necessity.” [Medical Daily, 3-30-2015]
Compelling Explanations
California Law: A jury in Tascadero, Calif., having already convicted Mark Andrews, 51, of murder, concluded in March that he was legally sane at the time he shot his neighbor to death even though he claimed she was a vampire and that he himself had been, for 20 years, a werewolf. (A month later, a judge in San Francisco acquitted Santino Aviles, 41, of robbery and other felony charges after he claimed that the apartment he broke into was a spaceship that would take him to safety before the imminent explosion of the earth. His lawyer called his condition a “meth-fueled psychosis,” and he was convicted only of misdemeanors.) [KEYT-TV (Santa Barbara), 3-10-2015] [KPIX-TV (San Francisco, 4-9-2015]
Readers’ Choice
(1) No charges were filed in the April incident in Lee County, Ga., even though a 74-year-old woman was shot by her son-in-law. Deputies accepted the explanation that Larry McElroy shot at an armadillo with his 9mm handgun, killing it, but that the bullet richocheted, traveled about 100 yards, first off of a fence and then through the woman’s mobile home, hitting her in the back. She was not seriously hurt. (2) Robert Abercrombie became the most recent practitioner of DIY tooth-extraction when he yanked out a front tooth of his 8-year-old son Jason by tying the tooth to his Camaro and driving away. Jason was perfectly cool with the stunt, which was captured on video and Internet-posted. “It came out!” Jason is seen shouting joyously (and bloodily) into the camera. [WALB-TV (Albany, Ga.), 3-14-2015] [WTVT (Tampa), 4-1-2015]
Recurring Themes
Too Much Information: The most recent fatwa, announced in April by the Directorate of Religious Affairs in Turkey, declared that “toilet paper” is now acceptable for pious Muslims. The Directorate had previously decreed that only water could be used for such cleaning (or, if none was available, the left hand). (Toilet etiquette, called “Qadaa al-Haajah,” which obviously predates the invention of the actual “toilet,” requires entrance by the left foot, exit by the right, a post-ablution prayer, and, most challengingly, “no reading.”) [Jerusalem Post, 4-9-2015]
No Longer Weird
Adding to the list of stories that once were captivatingly weird but have since occurred with such frequency that they must be retired from circulation: (1) Desperate thieves steal what’s handy, and after a botched attempt on April 8th to steal a truck, the perp grabbed the only item he could take with him as he fled. The owner told the Des Moines, Iowa, police it was a bag of to-be-discarded dog feces. (2) The first joyous “fertility” festival you heard about, where giant penis-float parades and candy souvenir phalluses are treasured by giddy children, was perhaps in Japan. Actually, several Asian nations have had their own, as News of the Weird has tried to keep up with, such as Jeju park in South Korea. Now, Taiwan is capitalizing, with the more subdued, under-construction “Romantic Boulevard” park with gardens featuring statues of copulation (animal and human) and a giant stone phallus that children seem tickled to be photographed riding on. [Des Moines Register, 4-9-2015] [Metro (London), 1-26-2015]
A News of the Weird Classic (November 2010)
In June [2010], the roller coaster at the Funtown Splashdown in Saco, Maine, unexpectedly came to a halt, stranding riders for all of 15 minutes. A reportedly "furious" Eric and Tiffany Dillingham said later that their 8-year-old daughter was so frightened that she had to be taken to a hospital and had nightmares constantly since then, and a lawsuit was a possibility. (Since the purpose of a roller coaster ride is to induce fright, it was not known whether “hospital visit” and “fury” would also have ensued if the ride had been working perfectly.) [WGME-TV (Portland), 6-24-2010]
Thanks This Week to Steve Bellovin, Jim Weber, Bruce Alter, and John McGaw, and to the News of the Weird Senior Advisors (Jenny T. Beatty, Paul Di Filippo, Ginger Katz, Joe Littrell, Matt Mirapaul, Paul Music, Karl Olson, and Jim Sweeney) and Board of Editorial Advisors (Tom Barker, Paul Blumstein, Harry Farkas, Sam Gaines, Herb Jue, Emory Kimbrough, Scott Langill, Bob McCabe, Steve Miller, Christopher Nalty, Mark Neunder, Sandy Pearlman, Bob Pert, Larry Ellis Reed, Peter Smagorinsky, Rob Snyder, Stephen Taylor, Bruce Townley, and Jerry Whittle)
Weirdnuz.M420, April 26, 2015
Copyright 2015 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
World’s Worst Sculptor: It seemed like a good idea when the town of Celoron, N.Y., agreed in 2009 to pay for a bronze statue honoring the village’s only celebrity. Lucille Ball had spent her childhood years there, and even today, everyone “Love[s] Lucy.” The result was apparently a monstrosity, described today in news reports as “frightening” and unrecognizable by anyone who has ever watched Lucy’s TV shows or movies. http://bit.ly/1OmMjl4). The original sculptor first suggested a fee of $8,000-$10,000 to make a better one, but after Mayor Scott Schrencengost started a fundraising compaign, the sculptor offered to make another one for free. [CNN, 4-7-2015] [Google Images]
Wait, What?
Tough Love: A Catholic priest (unnamed in news reports) in Taranto, Italy, was removed recently after reports that, attempting to minister to an unemployed laborer, he arranged for online role-playing in which the man was Judas and the priest had dispatched him to gay orgies to be punished (for betraying Jesus) by members of the Vatican security force. [Daily Mail (London), 4-8-2015]
Paulo Silva, 51, facing bestiality charges in April in Framingham (Mass.) District Court, insisted that the charges be reduced only to attempted larceny. Yes, he was caught fondling the male purebred pitbull, but he had no sexual motivation, his lawyer explained. Actually, he said a friend of Silva’s owned a female pitbull and had asked the male’s owner if the two dogs could mate, but when the friend declined, Silva said he was simply trying to collect the sperm, himself. Judge Jennifer Stark was unmoved and set the case for trial. [Metrowest Daily News (Framingham), 4-10-2015]
Leading Economic Indicators
In additional fallout from the budget cuts and personnel reductions at the IRS, the supervisory revenue official for the Dallas region disclosed in April that his office had so few collectors that it would only pursue scofflaws who owe the government at least $1 million. “I have to say,” the supervisor told a reporter, “nobody’s ever going to knock on [the] door” of anyone who owes from $100,000 to $999,999. [Washington Post, 4-8-2015]
Unclear on the Concept
At Australia’s sixth annual National Disability Summit in Melbourne in March, all of the speakers except one were able-bodied. That person, in a wheelchair, had to be lifted up to the stage because there was no ramp. Furthermore, disabled activists in attendance told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. that the “disabled” section’s table was at the back of the room, the food tables were elevated to accommodate standers, and one accessible toilet was being used as storage space. [Australian Broadcasting Corp. News, 3-26-2015]
Bright Ideas
German high school student Simon Schrader, 17, preparing for the all-important “Abitur” advanced-level tests to identify top-performing students, filed a formal request in April, under North Rhine-Westphalia state’s generous freedom-of-information law, for an advance copy of the test. “I just wanted to see what they would say,” he said. (He filed a little late, in that the state’s deadline for responding came after most of the testing.) [The Guardian (London), 4-9-2015]
Raising Our Most Delicate Generation: In preparation for the March National Union of Students Women’s Conference in Solihull, England, some attendees requested that clapping for any of the speakers be discouraged but that approval from the audience be expressed by “jazz hands”--open hands, palm directed to the stage, and the fingers extended wildly. Using “jazz hands” would show compassion for however many attendees have anxiety and other disorders, and for speakers who might be distracted by the din of approval. [BBC News, 3-24-2015]
People Different From Us
Venezuelan women’s well-known obsession over bodily beauty usually focuses on face, breasts, and buttocks (and model Aleira Avendano has certainly had those surgeries). However, Avendano’s signature feature is her 20-inch waist, which she says has been maintained by wearing an absurdly tight corset for 23 hours a day for the past six years. “I wash myself and rest for an hour, and then I put it on again. At first, it was terrible, then I got used to it, and [it] became a necessity.” [Medical Daily, 3-30-2015]
Compelling Explanations
California Law: A jury in Tascadero, Calif., having already convicted Mark Andrews, 51, of murder, concluded in March that he was legally sane at the time he shot his neighbor to death even though he claimed she was a vampire and that he himself had been, for 20 years, a werewolf. (A month later, a judge in San Francisco acquitted Santino Aviles, 41, of robbery and other felony charges after he claimed that the apartment he broke into was a spaceship that would take him to safety before the imminent explosion of the earth. His lawyer called his condition a “meth-fueled psychosis,” and he was convicted only of misdemeanors.) [KEYT-TV (Santa Barbara), 3-10-2015] [KPIX-TV (San Francisco, 4-9-2015]
Readers’ Choice
(1) No charges were filed in the April incident in Lee County, Ga., even though a 74-year-old woman was shot by her son-in-law. Deputies accepted the explanation that Larry McElroy shot at an armadillo with his 9mm handgun, killing it, but that the bullet richocheted, traveled about 100 yards, first off of a fence and then through the woman’s mobile home, hitting her in the back. She was not seriously hurt. (2) Robert Abercrombie became the most recent practitioner of DIY tooth-extraction when he yanked out a front tooth of his 8-year-old son Jason by tying the tooth to his Camaro and driving away. Jason was perfectly cool with the stunt, which was captured on video and Internet-posted. “It came out!” Jason is seen shouting joyously (and bloodily) into the camera. [WALB-TV (Albany, Ga.), 3-14-2015] [WTVT (Tampa), 4-1-2015]
Recurring Themes
Too Much Information: The most recent fatwa, announced in April by the Directorate of Religious Affairs in Turkey, declared that “toilet paper” is now acceptable for pious Muslims. The Directorate had previously decreed that only water could be used for such cleaning (or, if none was available, the left hand). (Toilet etiquette, called “Qadaa al-Haajah,” which obviously predates the invention of the actual “toilet,” requires entrance by the left foot, exit by the right, a post-ablution prayer, and, most challengingly, “no reading.”) [Jerusalem Post, 4-9-2015]
No Longer Weird
Adding to the list of stories that once were captivatingly weird but have since occurred with such frequency that they must be retired from circulation: (1) Desperate thieves steal what’s handy, and after a botched attempt on April 8th to steal a truck, the perp grabbed the only item he could take with him as he fled. The owner told the Des Moines, Iowa, police it was a bag of to-be-discarded dog feces. (2) The first joyous “fertility” festival you heard about, where giant penis-float parades and candy souvenir phalluses are treasured by giddy children, was perhaps in Japan. Actually, several Asian nations have had their own, as News of the Weird has tried to keep up with, such as Jeju park in South Korea. Now, Taiwan is capitalizing, with the more subdued, under-construction “Romantic Boulevard” park with gardens featuring statues of copulation (animal and human) and a giant stone phallus that children seem tickled to be photographed riding on. [Des Moines Register, 4-9-2015] [Metro (London), 1-26-2015]
A News of the Weird Classic (November 2010)
In June [2010], the roller coaster at the Funtown Splashdown in Saco, Maine, unexpectedly came to a halt, stranding riders for all of 15 minutes. A reportedly "furious" Eric and Tiffany Dillingham said later that their 8-year-old daughter was so frightened that she had to be taken to a hospital and had nightmares constantly since then, and a lawsuit was a possibility. (Since the purpose of a roller coaster ride is to induce fright, it was not known whether “hospital visit” and “fury” would also have ensued if the ride had been working perfectly.) [WGME-TV (Portland), 6-24-2010]
Thanks This Week to Steve Bellovin, Jim Weber, Bruce Alter, and John McGaw, and to the News of the Weird Senior Advisors (Jenny T. Beatty, Paul Di Filippo, Ginger Katz, Joe Littrell, Matt Mirapaul, Paul Music, Karl Olson, and Jim Sweeney) and Board of Editorial Advisors (Tom Barker, Paul Blumstein, Harry Farkas, Sam Gaines, Herb Jue, Emory Kimbrough, Scott Langill, Bob McCabe, Steve Miller, Christopher Nalty, Mark Neunder, Sandy Pearlman, Bob Pert, Larry Ellis Reed, Peter Smagorinsky, Rob Snyder, Stephen Taylor, Bruce Townley, and Jerry Whittle)
Comments
Lucy- I've seen Lucille Ball, who is that woman in the sculpture?
Pit bull- How was he going to administer the purloined semen to his dog? Wait, I don't wanna know.
IRS- Over $1 mil or if the administration wants you hassled.
Aussie disability- Reminds me of those Fosters commercials.
No applause- Nobody likes the clap.
Meth- To quote Rick James "Its a hell of a drug!"
Mother-in-law- Wow, he really put some English on that bullet to get her.
Tooth- Surprising CPS hasn't yanked the kid from the home over it yet.
8yr old- I thought you had to be a certain height to ride. At 8 she should have been too short you'd think. Call CPS the parents let her get on the ride in the first place.
Pit bull- How was he going to administer the purloined semen to his dog? Wait, I don't wanna know.
IRS- Over $1 mil or if the administration wants you hassled.
Aussie disability- Reminds me of those Fosters commercials.
No applause- Nobody likes the clap.
Meth- To quote Rick James "Its a hell of a drug!"
Mother-in-law- Wow, he really put some English on that bullet to get her.
Tooth- Surprising CPS hasn't yanked the kid from the home over it yet.
8yr old- I thought you had to be a certain height to ride. At 8 she should have been too short you'd think. Call CPS the parents let her get on the ride in the first place.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 04/26/15 at 09:03 PM
The Lucille Ball statue fiasco reminds me of a similar bad statue of British footballer Ted Bates that was executed several years ago. It's so badly proportioned that I've used a photo of it (along with a fashion drawing of a woman who is nine heads tall and a medieval painting of Virgin and Child) to teach proportion to high school students in math class. Google "Ted Bates statue" to see how bad it was.
Posted by ges on 04/26/15 at 10:01 PM
Lucy's Statue That was almost as bad a deal as this one.
Tough Love The devil made him do it. No! Really!
Pit Bull Hand Job I'm not sure that works in dogs. It's a matter of how the ball of seman is delivered into the bitch.
IRS scofflaw: the pot calling the kettle black
Disability Summit The Greeks have a word to describe this... οργάνωση (organosy) which most misinterpreted.
German “Abitur” Many, many Greeks have immigrated to Germany over the years.
Most Delicate Generation Sheep are pretty easily controlled.
Aleira Avendano Luckily she doesn't live in the US or the UK where is it illegal to attempt to remove yourself from the tax pool.
"California Law" A perfect example of an oxymoron where the emphasis is on the 'moron'.
Readers’ Choice So, this guy shot a Camaro and the bullet ricocheted and killed an armadillo that was trying to pull some grandmother's tooth while some kid was yelling? Now, that's weird!
Tough Love The devil made him do it. No! Really!
Pit Bull Hand Job I'm not sure that works in dogs. It's a matter of how the ball of seman is delivered into the bitch.
IRS scofflaw: the pot calling the kettle black
Disability Summit The Greeks have a word to describe this... οργάνωση (organosy) which most misinterpreted.
German “Abitur” Many, many Greeks have immigrated to Germany over the years.
Most Delicate Generation Sheep are pretty easily controlled.
Aleira Avendano Luckily she doesn't live in the US or the UK where is it illegal to attempt to remove yourself from the tax pool.
"California Law" A perfect example of an oxymoron where the emphasis is on the 'moron'.
Readers’ Choice So, this guy shot a Camaro and the bullet ricocheted and killed an armadillo that was trying to pull some grandmother's tooth while some kid was yelling? Now, that's weird!
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 04/27/15 at 03:16 AM
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