News of the Weird (February 10, 2013)
The News of the Weird Blog
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Hand-Picked and Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
Sunday, February 10, 2013
© 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Paris: France, bless its heart, is trying to save the wolf from extinction, but the beasts keep killing sheep. Hence, the quintessentially French solution: Try toreason with “educate” wolves not to kill the sheep! They have a plan. (“You might as well try to educate a shark,” said one critic.) The Local (Paris)
St. Petersburg, Fla.: Another season of “My Strange Addiction” on the TLC cable channel is upon us. First up, next Wednesday: the couple hooked on caffeine. [ed.: Huh? That could be me.] Actually, they’re addicted to coffee enemas! [ed.: That’s not me.] Four times a day, “a sense of euphoria.” ABC News
Clarksville, Tenn.: It wasn’t a great job--maintenance worker--but Walter Slonopas, 52, didn’t want to give it up, but he had no choice. The company that did their tax work sent him his W-2, and somebody had to be the 666th person on the list, and it was Walter. “I’m not going to hell,” Walter said, as he walked out the door. Is Walter being ridiculous? (It turns out that this was the 3rd time the same company had made him the 666th something-or-other. Walter's going to hell.) USA Today via AzCentral.com
Ystad, Sweden: A man who was arrested with blood alcohol at 5x the legal limit recited to the judge his typical daily alcohol intake (beginning at breakfast) and convinced the envious jurist that, indeed, the man is so prodigious that he can handle 5x the legal limit. Case dismissed. (LINK REPAIRED) The Local (Stockholm)
Brooklyn, N.Y.: A goat escaped from a slaughterhouse and eluded police, who had no idea how to track goats. Fortunately, Bedford-Stuyvesant is such a melting pot of immigrants that there just happened to be a West African goat herder walking down the street. He was pressed into service; problem solved. New York Daily News
San Luis Obispo, Calif.: If you swindle a bank using the old pennies-in-a-dime roll of coins once, that’s basically it. The next time you walk in the door, you’re done. Especially if the next time is the very next day. Carl Bellenir, 48, was arrested. Tribune News (San Luis Obispo)
San Antonio: The iconic, frequently-sighted “unknown black/Hispanic male” who shot the guy escaped--again. (He’s always escaping.) Could it be that the victim’s pal in the backseat was the one who shot him, accidentally, while he was playing with the gun? Naw, man, I was shot by an “unknown black/Hispanic male.” KENS-TV
Are You Scared Yet?
Rome: Selections from the [Finger]Nail Olympics (now in its 12th year) TheWeek.com
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Hand-Picked and Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
Sunday, February 10, 2013
© 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Paris: France, bless its heart, is trying to save the wolf from extinction, but the beasts keep killing sheep. Hence, the quintessentially French solution: Try to
St. Petersburg, Fla.: Another season of “My Strange Addiction” on the TLC cable channel is upon us. First up, next Wednesday: the couple hooked on caffeine. [ed.: Huh? That could be me.] Actually, they’re addicted to coffee enemas! [ed.: That’s not me.] Four times a day, “a sense of euphoria.” ABC News
Clarksville, Tenn.: It wasn’t a great job--maintenance worker--but Walter Slonopas, 52, didn’t want to give it up, but he had no choice. The company that did their tax work sent him his W-2, and somebody had to be the 666th person on the list, and it was Walter. “I’m not going to hell,” Walter said, as he walked out the door. Is Walter being ridiculous? (It turns out that this was the 3rd time the same company had made him the 666th something-or-other. Walter's going to hell.) USA Today via AzCentral.com
Ystad, Sweden: A man who was arrested with blood alcohol at 5x the legal limit recited to the judge his typical daily alcohol intake (beginning at breakfast) and convinced the envious jurist that, indeed, the man is so prodigious that he can handle 5x the legal limit. Case dismissed. (LINK REPAIRED) The Local (Stockholm)
Brooklyn, N.Y.: A goat escaped from a slaughterhouse and eluded police, who had no idea how to track goats. Fortunately, Bedford-Stuyvesant is such a melting pot of immigrants that there just happened to be a West African goat herder walking down the street. He was pressed into service; problem solved. New York Daily News
San Luis Obispo, Calif.: If you swindle a bank using the old pennies-in-a-dime roll of coins once, that’s basically it. The next time you walk in the door, you’re done. Especially if the next time is the very next day. Carl Bellenir, 48, was arrested. Tribune News (San Luis Obispo)
San Antonio: The iconic, frequently-sighted “unknown black/Hispanic male” who shot the guy escaped--again. (He’s always escaping.) Could it be that the victim’s pal in the backseat was the one who shot him, accidentally, while he was playing with the gun? Naw, man, I was shot by an “unknown black/Hispanic male.” KENS-TV
Are You Scared Yet?
Rome: Selections from the [Finger]Nail Olympics (now in its 12th year) TheWeek.com
Comments
Satan changed the link in the drunk driver story point to the 666 story.
That bastard!
http://www.thelocal.se/46030/20130206/
I wonder how big the "small snapps (yes, that is how the article spells it) bottles" were.
That bastard!
http://www.thelocal.se/46030/20130206/
I wonder how big the "small snapps (yes, that is how the article spells it) bottles" were.
Posted by Tom on 02/10/13 at 07:16 PM
educate wolves- Sounds like a PETA program to me.
coffee enimas- Coffe will make you go if you drink it. That is entirely unnecessary!
666- If the company generates employee paperwork alphabetically (like most do) then it makes sense that he would fall in the same numeric place if no changes are made to the employee roster. But I agree with him, having that number turn up repeatedly is creepy.
Drunken Swede- Obviously they don't have MADD over there.
coins- We have to open and count rolled money if we take it where I work.
blame the brown guy- Typical.
Nail art- They look ridiculous!
coffee enimas- Coffe will make you go if you drink it. That is entirely unnecessary!
666- If the company generates employee paperwork alphabetically (like most do) then it makes sense that he would fall in the same numeric place if no changes are made to the employee roster. But I agree with him, having that number turn up repeatedly is creepy.
Drunken Swede- Obviously they don't have MADD over there.
coins- We have to open and count rolled money if we take it where I work.
blame the brown guy- Typical.
Nail art- They look ridiculous!
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 02/10/13 at 08:12 PM
Paris: If some critter was eating our national symbol we'd be trying all kinds of wacky ideas too!
666: I had to get the home office to issue a member a new acct# because the one he initially got ended in 666!
Fingernail War I'm for whatever keeps them penned up in one place.
@Patty: Drunken Swede No, but it sounds like they've go common sense.
666: I had to get the home office to issue a member a new acct# because the one he initially got ended in 666!
Fingernail War I'm for whatever keeps them penned up in one place.
@Patty: Drunken Swede No, but it sounds like they've go common sense.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/11/13 at 12:53 AM
Wolf education -- not quite as insane as it sounds, actually. Western US states are already attempting this with grizzlies, and of course Churchill, Manitoba is famous for its polar bear reeducation program (aka "bear jail"). Mostly, you teach them that humans and livestock are totally not worth it, by making them utterly miserable every time they show up where you don't want them. In Churchill, nuisance polar bears are live-trapped (yes, they seriously have live traps that big) or darted. When the bear wakes up, it's in a concrete enclosure. It is not fed while it is there. It spends several days there. Then they dart the bear again, drive it out onto the tundra, and release it. Reoffenders are supposedly rare.
Posted by Calli Arcale on 02/11/13 at 12:25 PM
There's no doubt that animals learn. Why, even my wife has learned to open the door when the dog barks!
(Fortunately, I'll have supper done before any of you can tell her.) :coolsmile:
(Fortunately, I'll have supper done before any of you can tell her.) :coolsmile:
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/11/13 at 01:15 PM
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