News of the Weird (February 3, 2013)
The News of the Weird Blog
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Hand-Picked and Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
Sunday, February 3, 2013
© 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Berlin: The upper Parliament passed Germany’s first anti-bestiality law, and it wasn’t easy, in that the “zoophiles” are organized (“Zoophilic Engagement for Tolerance and Enlightenment”) and busy educating Germans that human-animal sex is entirely consensual and that their own “partners” always get moist/erect. Major point: How can Germans allow the slaughterhouse but denounce “romance”? New York Times
Soweto, South Africa: Bands of middle-class-and-below teenagers prance around town in designer clothes, dropping wads of cash (ripped from their parents), then sometimes trashing the duds for fun. They are izikhotanes, and they gross out many people who are apartheid-survivors. “This isn’t what we struggled for.” BBC News
Bettendorf, Iowa: Sherwin Shayegan [NOTW M258] has apparently relapsed. He’s hanging around college and high school locker rooms again, either asking for, or tricking boys into giving him, piggyback rides. Deadspin.com /// Grantland.com (Sherwin Shayegan profile)
Seoul: Defectors report that North Korean women genuinely (not jealously) dislike large chests. One said she added chives to her diet because she heard it prevents gazongas from developing. Global Post via Fox News
Kensington, Australia: Prison researchers re-discovered the phenomenon of jerry-built inmate penile implants. Not every inmate goes for it, of course, but the incidence is high enough to be study material. Conclusion, according to TheAtlantic.com, after synthesizing the research: The prisoners are risk-takers, anyway, and they get bored in prison, and this seems like an exciting thing to do. (Implant materials:silicone, sutures, buttons, dice, deodorant roller balls, melted toothpaste caps, "sticky tape") TheAtlantic.com
Burbank, Calif.: Jorge Sanchez, 35, shoplifted 24 quarts of motor oil by strapping them to his body and dashing out of the Costco. (Bonus: Security guards couldn’t catch him, even though, when spotted, he still had 15 quarts strapped in. Dude’s in shape!) Turns out he’s in the auto-servicing business, and oil is just too expensive to even buy wholesale. KCBS-TV (Los Angeles)
Memphis: Evidence is coming out in the massive cheating scandal by schoolteachers, paying people to take standardized qualifications tests for ‘em. The major ring was busted when the same impersonator showed up for the morning test and the afternoon test at the same site and both times was wearing the same pink baseball cap. New York Times
Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
Chattanooga: Laura Morgan was charged with the fatal beating of her 73-yr-old live-in guy, using the butt of a shotgun. But our dainty Laura actually loves men (for a price, anyway), plus she uses a wheelchair, plus she has no legs. Couldn’t be Laura. WBIR-TV (Nashville)
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Hand-Picked and Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
Sunday, February 3, 2013
© 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Berlin: The upper Parliament passed Germany’s first anti-bestiality law, and it wasn’t easy, in that the “zoophiles” are organized (“Zoophilic Engagement for Tolerance and Enlightenment”) and busy educating Germans that human-animal sex is entirely consensual and that their own “partners” always get moist/erect. Major point: How can Germans allow the slaughterhouse but denounce “romance”? New York Times
Soweto, South Africa: Bands of middle-class-and-below teenagers prance around town in designer clothes, dropping wads of cash (ripped from their parents), then sometimes trashing the duds for fun. They are izikhotanes, and they gross out many people who are apartheid-survivors. “This isn’t what we struggled for.” BBC News
Bettendorf, Iowa: Sherwin Shayegan [NOTW M258] has apparently relapsed. He’s hanging around college and high school locker rooms again, either asking for, or tricking boys into giving him, piggyback rides. Deadspin.com /// Grantland.com (Sherwin Shayegan profile)
Seoul: Defectors report that North Korean women genuinely (not jealously) dislike large chests. One said she added chives to her diet because she heard it prevents gazongas from developing. Global Post via Fox News
Kensington, Australia: Prison researchers re-discovered the phenomenon of jerry-built inmate penile implants. Not every inmate goes for it, of course, but the incidence is high enough to be study material. Conclusion, according to TheAtlantic.com, after synthesizing the research: The prisoners are risk-takers, anyway, and they get bored in prison, and this seems like an exciting thing to do. (Implant materials:
Burbank, Calif.: Jorge Sanchez, 35, shoplifted 24 quarts of motor oil by strapping them to his body and dashing out of the Costco. (Bonus: Security guards couldn’t catch him, even though, when spotted, he still had 15 quarts strapped in. Dude’s in shape!) Turns out he’s in the auto-servicing business, and oil is just too expensive to even buy wholesale. KCBS-TV (Los Angeles)
Memphis: Evidence is coming out in the massive cheating scandal by schoolteachers, paying people to take standardized qualifications tests for ‘em. The major ring was busted when the same impersonator showed up for the morning test and the afternoon test at the same site and both times was wearing the same pink baseball cap. New York Times
Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
Chattanooga: Laura Morgan was charged with the fatal beating of her 73-yr-old live-in guy, using the butt of a shotgun. But our dainty Laura actually loves men (for a price, anyway), plus she uses a wheelchair, plus she has no legs. Couldn’t be Laura. WBIR-TV (Nashville)
Comments
beastiality- So you can eat animals but you can't EAT animals!
teens- Apparently teens are out of control all over the world.
big ones- Talk about a cultural divide! The US is totally opposite.
oil- He's in shape or low wage security guards really aren't.
testers- Book knowlege but no common sense!
beat to death- Well she certainly couldn't bite him!
teens- Apparently teens are out of control all over the world.
big ones- Talk about a cultural divide! The US is totally opposite.
oil- He's in shape or low wage security guards really aren't.
testers- Book knowlege but no common sense!
beat to death- Well she certainly couldn't bite him!
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 02/03/13 at 07:26 PM
Re: Laura Morgan
The story at the other end of that link says she used a crowbar, not a shotgun.
The story at the other end of that link says she used a crowbar, not a shotgun.
Posted by Patty on 02/03/13 at 07:45 PM
Penile Implants Ach... Boys and their toys.
Schoolteachers Well, there's another bunch sent to the rubber room for 15, or so, years.
Jury Duty Even if found guilty she'll not be running from the law!
@Patty: Shotgun or crowbar what's the difference they're both weapons of mass destruction only equal to drones and atomic bombs.
Schoolteachers Well, there's another bunch sent to the rubber room for 15, or so, years.
Jury Duty Even if found guilty she'll not be running from the law!
@Patty: Shotgun or crowbar what's the difference they're both weapons of mass destruction only equal to drones and atomic bombs.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/04/13 at 12:03 AM
Laura Morgan: at least she has plenty of upper body strength to wield tje crowbar with.
Expat, not these schoolteachers. Falsifying official documents (which is what the Atlanta test scandal folks were charged with) is a major crime. OTOH, since they were out there teaching, someone will undoubtedly say that they have proven their ability in the field, and so should be excused.
Patty, my money's on the low wage security guards being in excellent shape. For a bowling pin.
Expat, not these schoolteachers. Falsifying official documents (which is what the Atlanta test scandal folks were charged with) is a major crime. OTOH, since they were out there teaching, someone will undoubtedly say that they have proven their ability in the field, and so should be excused.
Patty, my money's on the low wage security guards being in excellent shape. For a bowling pin.
Posted by TheCannyScot in Atlanta, GA on 02/04/13 at 03:54 AM
@Scottie: What's wrong with bowling pins that you've got to bad mouth them?
RE: Teachers... You're right, the union couldn't, possibly, object to felons being responsible for kids.
RE: Teachers... You're right, the union couldn't, possibly, object to felons being responsible for kids.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/04/13 at 03:59 AM
If we are talking high school then half the kids are probably felons anyway.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 02/04/13 at 09:35 AM
I agree, but they're only children and not responsible for their actions; and I don't care if they CAN join the Army at 17.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/04/13 at 09:43 AM
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