News of the Weird (February 6, 2013)
The News of the Weird Blog
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Hand-Picked and Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
© 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Kila Raipur, India: The annual, four-day “Rural Olympics” is a big deal in northern Punjab state--similar to the “redneck olympics” held in a couple of places in America. Events include holding bicycles with or pulling heavy equipment with your teeth or your hair or your earlobes; speed turban-tying; and letting tractors drive over you. Wall Street Journal (photos!) /// World’s Greatest Newspaper (photos!)
Albuquerque: Mortician Lester Salazar apparently kinda lost it (again) last week, first sighted running down a road naked and later playing bumper cars and trying to ram two sheriff’s deputies. A neighbor told KOB-TV that last year Salazar was caught naked with a phone cord wrapped around his package, which the police report helpfully tells us was to make him feel in control and powerful. KOB-TV
Belo Horizonte, Brazil: In this exciting city [NOTW M283, where entrepreneurs set up a “love hotel” for horny dogs], three people arrested last month in separate incidents were John Lennon Ribeiro Siqueira, John Lennon Fonseca Ferreira, and John Lennon Camargos Gomes. Plus, a drug dealer was found dead, a Mr. John Lennon Sebastiao da Silva. World’s Greatest Newspaper
Saudi Arabia: Another crazy-uncle Muslim cleric has spoken, on al-Majd TV: Saying that he’s heard of sexual assaults on very young girls, he says the Quran actually requires (though no one knew this) face-veil burqas even for babies. Al-Arabiya consulted other religious authorities, who all want Sheikh Abdullah Daoud to shut up. AlArabiya.net (Dubai)
Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
New Port Richey, Fla.: Mr. Bienvenido Cintron, 34, was charged with attempted kidnaping. (Would anyone out there have any particular grooming tip for Mr. Cintron that might make a jury less hostile to him?) BayNews9 (St. Petersburg-Tampa)
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Hand-Picked and Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
© 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Kila Raipur, India: The annual, four-day “Rural Olympics” is a big deal in northern Punjab state--similar to the “redneck olympics” held in a couple of places in America. Events include holding bicycles with or pulling heavy equipment with your teeth or your hair or your earlobes; speed turban-tying; and letting tractors drive over you. Wall Street Journal (photos!) /// World’s Greatest Newspaper (photos!)
Albuquerque: Mortician Lester Salazar apparently kinda lost it (again) last week, first sighted running down a road naked and later playing bumper cars and trying to ram two sheriff’s deputies. A neighbor told KOB-TV that last year Salazar was caught naked with a phone cord wrapped around his package, which the police report helpfully tells us was to make him feel in control and powerful. KOB-TV
Belo Horizonte, Brazil: In this exciting city [NOTW M283, where entrepreneurs set up a “love hotel” for horny dogs], three people arrested last month in separate incidents were John Lennon Ribeiro Siqueira, John Lennon Fonseca Ferreira, and John Lennon Camargos Gomes. Plus, a drug dealer was found dead, a Mr. John Lennon Sebastiao da Silva. World’s Greatest Newspaper
Saudi Arabia: Another crazy-uncle Muslim cleric has spoken, on al-Majd TV: Saying that he’s heard of sexual assaults on very young girls, he says the Quran actually requires (though no one knew this) face-veil burqas even for babies. Al-Arabiya consulted other religious authorities, who all want Sheikh Abdullah Daoud to shut up. AlArabiya.net (Dubai)
Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
New Port Richey, Fla.: Mr. Bienvenido Cintron, 34, was charged with attempted kidnaping. (Would anyone out there have any particular grooming tip for Mr. Cintron that might make a jury less hostile to him?) BayNews9 (St. Petersburg-Tampa)
Comments
Jury duty- So that's where my identical twin disappeared to.
Posted by BMN on 02/06/13 at 04:09 PM
Brazil- They must love John Lennon down there.
baby burkas- What a ridiculous ass!
jury duty- What a freak! Thank goodness those teens helped her.
baby burkas- What a ridiculous ass!
jury duty- What a freak! Thank goodness those teens helped her.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 02/06/13 at 08:51 PM
Jury Duty: since he's in the Land O' Lakes jail, surely he can get something to grease down that hair. Like Patty said, thank Goodness for those teens.
Albuquerque: Apparently ol' Salazar *did* take a left at Albuquerque. Remind me not to die there.
Albuquerque: Apparently ol' Salazar *did* take a left at Albuquerque. Remind me not to die there.
Posted by TheCannyScot in Atlanta, GA on 02/07/13 at 10:55 AM
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