News of the Weird, November 16, 2014
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M397, November 16, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
The Other World Series: In October, another premier world sports events reached its climax, with one team left standing, rewarded for months of grueling practices, to the cheers of adoring, frenzied fans. The “world series” of professional team computer games was settled on a stage in a packed, 40,000-seat stadium in Seoul before three gigantic TV screens and an Internet audience of millions. The powerhouse Samsung White team out-mouse-and-keyboarded the Chinese Starhorn Royal team at “League of Legends” (which 27 million gamers, worldwide, play every day) using its fantasy characters to destroy opponents’ bases. The winning team took home $1 million of corporate money, but future earnings should escalate when idolized world-class players unionize and swing merchandising endorsement deals. [New York Times, 10-19-2014; Playboy, November 2014]
Can’t Possibly Be True
Carnell Alexander at one point owed about $60,000 in child support for a kid he did not father (according to a DNA test) and knew nothing about, but despite “successfully” challenging the claim 20 years ago, he still owes about $30,000. The mother who accused him long ago admitted lying (in that naming a “father” was necessary to get welfare benefits), and while a judge thus wiped out Alexander’s debt to her, the state of Michigan nonetheless still demands that Alexander repay benefits it had paid to the mother. [WXYZ-TV (Detroit), 10-27-2014]
America’s largest pornography website, PornHub.com, decided recently to erect a public billboard prominently encouraging the use of its service, first selecting as its location the New York City neighborhood formerly the smut epicenter of the city in Times Square. However, that area is now respectably tourist-friendly, and the billboard had to be relocated--to Los Angeles’s West Hollywood, near the headquarters of PornHub’s parent, MindGeek. The sign features a person’s two thumbs and two index fingers forming a rough version of a heart, beside the message (inspired by a Beatles song), “All You Need Is Hand.” [LA Weekly, 10-31-2014]
Brits Behaving Britishly Bad
(1) Literature professor Thomas Docherty was back at work in October following his nine-month suspension from the University of Warwick for “inappropriate sighing” during meetings with a senior colleague, along with “making ironic comments” and “negative body language.” (2) In October, Andrew Davies, 51, was ordered by magistrates in High Wycombe, England, not to lie down in public places anymore (unless genuinely stricken by emergency). Previously, he had a habit of making bogus “999" (911) calls to get attention, and when police confiscated his phone, he began compensating by lying in roads until compassionate passersby called for ambulances. [Daily Telegraph, 10-24-2014] [Daily Mirror, 10-30-2014]
The New Math
More than six million students have downloaded the new iPhone app, PhotoMath, to solve Algebra I and Algebra II problems by pointing the phone’s camera at a printed equation. The answer, and the explanation, quickly appear on a screen, as a teaching tool--or for the students to show “their” work if PhotoMath is used on exam questions. The Croatian-based developer told the Quartz website in October that it is working on upgrades for higher-level math equations (though no relief is in sight for those chronically pesky “word problems”). Meanwhile, the debate has been triggered over whether PhotoMath is a dynamic technological advance in education--or a cheating-enabler. [Quartz, 10-31-2014; CultofMac.com, 11-7-2014]
Bright Ideas
Neighbors in the Mandarin neighborhood of Jacksonville, Fla., complained to the city recently about a resident who scattered hundreds of mothballs--over 400 now, at least--around her front yard, even driving over them in her car to crush them open and extend their noxious odor. The National Pesticide Information Center warned that the mothballs were hazards to plants, wildlife, water, and air, but the female resident (unnamed in a report by First Coast News) said she was forced into the tactic in order to prevent neighborhood dogs from defecating in her yard. [First Coast News (Jacksonville), 10-27-2014]
Celebrity Musicals: In September in Hamburg, Germany, “Charles Manson: Summer of Hate--The Musical,” opened at the Thalia Theater, covering the influences and failed musical career of the man convicted in the notorious 1969 Sharon Tate murders. And “I Am Stephon Marbury,” a musical featuring the former star NBA basketball player, ran for 11 nights September in Beijing, where the popular Marbury has led the Beijing Ducks to national basketball championships the last two seasons. Marbury has a role onstage in what is described as a parable about pursuing one’s dreams. [Los Angeles Times, 10-1-2014; New York Times, 8-28-2014]
The most challenging toys this holiday season might be the series of furry human innards from the U.S. firm I Heart Guts--not just the soft and cuddly pancreas, brain, and prostate but especially the rectum and anus. Each part is packaged with a cheekily-written educational description explaining its importance (the rectum being “the butt of many jokes” yet with “a serious role” in waste disposal as the “fecal loading dock”), and each sells for about $20. [Yahoo News, 11-6-2014]
Weird Scenes
(1) Richard Shear, 28, was arrested in Muskegon County, Mich., in October after an apparent violent episode with his mother and girlfriend. Shear had allegedly threatened the two, slashed an SUV tire, and tried to burn down their home with gasoline and a lit candle--but then when it was time to flee the premises, hopped on his moped, ensuring his flight from police would be a short one. (2) A woman (described only as “robust”) in Darmstadt, Germany, fled with the equivalent of about $125 from a pharmacy in October and is still at large. According to the police report, she swiped money from two cash registers by twice lifting her shirt and squirting breast milk at a clerk as a diversion. [WXMI-TV (Grand Rapids, Mich.), 10-27-2014] [The Local (Berlin), 10-28-2014]
The District of Calamity
The Washington, D.C., school system last year declared Avery Gagliano, 13, an habitual truant whose parents somehow require special training to ensure her attendance. The 8th-grader was a straight-A student at Alice Deal Middle School but also a piano prodigy selected for prestigious world exhibitions--which caused her to exceed the maximum-10 “unexcused” absences that trigger the assignment of a truancy officer and a series of relentless threats against the parents (which ultimately provoked them to withdraw Avery and this season to home-school her). (In October, following a Washington Post account, D.C.’s governing Council honored Avery in a public ceremony, and the D.C. Schools Chancellor overnight began begging the Gagliardos to bring Avery and her suddenly-“excused” absences back to school.) [Washington Post, 9-8-2014, 10-7-2014]
The Aristocrats!
(1) Sean Johnson, 19, was arrested in Brooksville, Fla., in October at the Walmart after he was spotted at about 3 p.m. taking a toy stuffed horse into the bedding department and masturbating with it. (2) Paul Mountain, 38, pleaded guilty to burglary in Darwen, England, in October--accused by a homeowner whose shed was vandalized. Among the damaged items was a teddy bear streaked with semen. Mountain told officers that he was coming down off of an amphetamine high and “felt overwhelming need for sexual relief.” [WFLA-TV (Tampa), 10-14-2014] [Lancashire Telegraph, 10-11-2014]
Least Competent Criminals
Daniel Rice, 21, on the lam from jailers in Muscatine, Iowa, found himself in nearby Rock Island, Ill., according to his 911 call to emergency personnel there. Rice had made his way to the Loud Thunder Forest Preserve, where he thought he could safely hole up, but reported that he was being chased by a pack of wild coyotes and begged for help. [WQAD-TV (Davenport, Iowa), 10-24-2014]
Jamie Brown, 29, stole a fish tank from a hardware store in Leeds, England, in August (thus violating a previous hardware-store stayaway order) and made a run for it, but had to be rescued by police and emergency personnel after he stopped to urinate in a bush--and, inadvertently, directly onto a wasps’ nest. Police said he later spent six very unpleasant hours at Leeds General Infirmary. [Daily Mirror (London), 8-12-2014]
Thanks This Week to Robert Zimmer and Cindy Hildebrand, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
Weirdnuz.M397, November 16, 2014
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
The Other World Series: In October, another premier world sports events reached its climax, with one team left standing, rewarded for months of grueling practices, to the cheers of adoring, frenzied fans. The “world series” of professional team computer games was settled on a stage in a packed, 40,000-seat stadium in Seoul before three gigantic TV screens and an Internet audience of millions. The powerhouse Samsung White team out-mouse-and-keyboarded the Chinese Starhorn Royal team at “League of Legends” (which 27 million gamers, worldwide, play every day) using its fantasy characters to destroy opponents’ bases. The winning team took home $1 million of corporate money, but future earnings should escalate when idolized world-class players unionize and swing merchandising endorsement deals. [New York Times, 10-19-2014; Playboy, November 2014]
Can’t Possibly Be True
Carnell Alexander at one point owed about $60,000 in child support for a kid he did not father (according to a DNA test) and knew nothing about, but despite “successfully” challenging the claim 20 years ago, he still owes about $30,000. The mother who accused him long ago admitted lying (in that naming a “father” was necessary to get welfare benefits), and while a judge thus wiped out Alexander’s debt to her, the state of Michigan nonetheless still demands that Alexander repay benefits it had paid to the mother. [WXYZ-TV (Detroit), 10-27-2014]
America’s largest pornography website, PornHub.com, decided recently to erect a public billboard prominently encouraging the use of its service, first selecting as its location the New York City neighborhood formerly the smut epicenter of the city in Times Square. However, that area is now respectably tourist-friendly, and the billboard had to be relocated--to Los Angeles’s West Hollywood, near the headquarters of PornHub’s parent, MindGeek. The sign features a person’s two thumbs and two index fingers forming a rough version of a heart, beside the message (inspired by a Beatles song), “All You Need Is Hand.” [LA Weekly, 10-31-2014]
Brits Behaving Britishly Bad
(1) Literature professor Thomas Docherty was back at work in October following his nine-month suspension from the University of Warwick for “inappropriate sighing” during meetings with a senior colleague, along with “making ironic comments” and “negative body language.” (2) In October, Andrew Davies, 51, was ordered by magistrates in High Wycombe, England, not to lie down in public places anymore (unless genuinely stricken by emergency). Previously, he had a habit of making bogus “999" (911) calls to get attention, and when police confiscated his phone, he began compensating by lying in roads until compassionate passersby called for ambulances. [Daily Telegraph, 10-24-2014] [Daily Mirror, 10-30-2014]
The New Math
More than six million students have downloaded the new iPhone app, PhotoMath, to solve Algebra I and Algebra II problems by pointing the phone’s camera at a printed equation. The answer, and the explanation, quickly appear on a screen, as a teaching tool--or for the students to show “their” work if PhotoMath is used on exam questions. The Croatian-based developer told the Quartz website in October that it is working on upgrades for higher-level math equations (though no relief is in sight for those chronically pesky “word problems”). Meanwhile, the debate has been triggered over whether PhotoMath is a dynamic technological advance in education--or a cheating-enabler. [Quartz, 10-31-2014; CultofMac.com, 11-7-2014]
Bright Ideas
Neighbors in the Mandarin neighborhood of Jacksonville, Fla., complained to the city recently about a resident who scattered hundreds of mothballs--over 400 now, at least--around her front yard, even driving over them in her car to crush them open and extend their noxious odor. The National Pesticide Information Center warned that the mothballs were hazards to plants, wildlife, water, and air, but the female resident (unnamed in a report by First Coast News) said she was forced into the tactic in order to prevent neighborhood dogs from defecating in her yard. [First Coast News (Jacksonville), 10-27-2014]
Celebrity Musicals: In September in Hamburg, Germany, “Charles Manson: Summer of Hate--The Musical,” opened at the Thalia Theater, covering the influences and failed musical career of the man convicted in the notorious 1969 Sharon Tate murders. And “I Am Stephon Marbury,” a musical featuring the former star NBA basketball player, ran for 11 nights September in Beijing, where the popular Marbury has led the Beijing Ducks to national basketball championships the last two seasons. Marbury has a role onstage in what is described as a parable about pursuing one’s dreams. [Los Angeles Times, 10-1-2014; New York Times, 8-28-2014]
The most challenging toys this holiday season might be the series of furry human innards from the U.S. firm I Heart Guts--not just the soft and cuddly pancreas, brain, and prostate but especially the rectum and anus. Each part is packaged with a cheekily-written educational description explaining its importance (the rectum being “the butt of many jokes” yet with “a serious role” in waste disposal as the “fecal loading dock”), and each sells for about $20. [Yahoo News, 11-6-2014]
Weird Scenes
(1) Richard Shear, 28, was arrested in Muskegon County, Mich., in October after an apparent violent episode with his mother and girlfriend. Shear had allegedly threatened the two, slashed an SUV tire, and tried to burn down their home with gasoline and a lit candle--but then when it was time to flee the premises, hopped on his moped, ensuring his flight from police would be a short one. (2) A woman (described only as “robust”) in Darmstadt, Germany, fled with the equivalent of about $125 from a pharmacy in October and is still at large. According to the police report, she swiped money from two cash registers by twice lifting her shirt and squirting breast milk at a clerk as a diversion. [WXMI-TV (Grand Rapids, Mich.), 10-27-2014] [The Local (Berlin), 10-28-2014]
The District of Calamity
The Washington, D.C., school system last year declared Avery Gagliano, 13, an habitual truant whose parents somehow require special training to ensure her attendance. The 8th-grader was a straight-A student at Alice Deal Middle School but also a piano prodigy selected for prestigious world exhibitions--which caused her to exceed the maximum-10 “unexcused” absences that trigger the assignment of a truancy officer and a series of relentless threats against the parents (which ultimately provoked them to withdraw Avery and this season to home-school her). (In October, following a Washington Post account, D.C.’s governing Council honored Avery in a public ceremony, and the D.C. Schools Chancellor overnight began begging the Gagliardos to bring Avery and her suddenly-“excused” absences back to school.) [Washington Post, 9-8-2014, 10-7-2014]
The Aristocrats!
(1) Sean Johnson, 19, was arrested in Brooksville, Fla., in October at the Walmart after he was spotted at about 3 p.m. taking a toy stuffed horse into the bedding department and masturbating with it. (2) Paul Mountain, 38, pleaded guilty to burglary in Darwen, England, in October--accused by a homeowner whose shed was vandalized. Among the damaged items was a teddy bear streaked with semen. Mountain told officers that he was coming down off of an amphetamine high and “felt overwhelming need for sexual relief.” [WFLA-TV (Tampa), 10-14-2014] [Lancashire Telegraph, 10-11-2014]
Least Competent Criminals
Daniel Rice, 21, on the lam from jailers in Muscatine, Iowa, found himself in nearby Rock Island, Ill., according to his 911 call to emergency personnel there. Rice had made his way to the Loud Thunder Forest Preserve, where he thought he could safely hole up, but reported that he was being chased by a pack of wild coyotes and begged for help. [WQAD-TV (Davenport, Iowa), 10-24-2014]
Jamie Brown, 29, stole a fish tank from a hardware store in Leeds, England, in August (thus violating a previous hardware-store stayaway order) and made a run for it, but had to be rescued by police and emergency personnel after he stopped to urinate in a bush--and, inadvertently, directly onto a wasps’ nest. Police said he later spent six very unpleasant hours at Leeds General Infirmary. [Daily Mirror (London), 8-12-2014]
Thanks This Week to Robert Zimmer and Cindy Hildebrand, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
Comments
RPGs It's FPS or nothing for me & I don't need a crew!
MI Welfare These outfits go after "the little" guy because they can get away with it.
PornHub Never heard of it. Can anyone make a recommendation as to if it's any good if it's handy? 🙄
Davies 999 Thump! Thump! Screeeeech! Vroom! Thump! Thump!
PhotoMath Is to cheating as a hammer is to murder.
Moth Balls Her name is Gno Go Poo.
Moped Chase Once again the ignorance of the newsies shines through. The vehicle the dude was on was a scooter. I'm not even sure they make mopeds any more.
Pharmacy Robbery Milked those dudes for all they were worth.
DC School Board How stupid do you have to be to get elected/selected/placed on a school board today? Anybody heard of a smart one lately?
Sean & Paul I think I figured out which 'organs' are missing from that plushy collection Chuck mentioned earlier.
Daniel Rice They should have just ignored his call.
Jamie Brown A stinging example of the wisdom of One Crime At A Time.
A good week, Chuck.
MI Welfare These outfits go after "the little" guy because they can get away with it.
PornHub Never heard of it. Can anyone make a recommendation as to if it's any good if it's handy? 🙄
Davies 999 Thump! Thump! Screeeeech! Vroom! Thump! Thump!
PhotoMath Is to cheating as a hammer is to murder.
Moth Balls Her name is Gno Go Poo.
Moped Chase Once again the ignorance of the newsies shines through. The vehicle the dude was on was a scooter. I'm not even sure they make mopeds any more.
Pharmacy Robbery Milked those dudes for all they were worth.
DC School Board How stupid do you have to be to get elected/selected/placed on a school board today? Anybody heard of a smart one lately?
Sean & Paul I think I figured out which 'organs' are missing from that plushy collection Chuck mentioned earlier.
Daniel Rice They should have just ignored his call.
Jamie Brown A stinging example of the wisdom of One Crime At A Time.
A good week, Chuck.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 11/16/14 at 11:37 AM
Expat, there is a class of vehicle which is legally classed as a moped (at least in some jurisdictions) even though most of them don't have pedals these days.
Posted by Cougar Allen on 11/16/14 at 07:29 PM
And, here in the EU carrots are called 'fruit' but that doesn't make it correct.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 11/16/14 at 11:02 PM
welfare- What happened to the recipient owing it back for lying/misrepresenting to get benefits??
porn hub- bet you could get those other plushy organs from these guys.
sighing- Next eye rolling will be a felony over there.
photo math- One way to fix that, when taking an exam cell phones in a basket on the instructor's desk during it. I know much too simple a solution to implement, maybe a $50,000.00 study will come up with something complex and unworkable to try.
mothballs- Well if the complaining neighbors kept their dogs home or picked up after them they would not have the problem. But, oh yeah, she's nutty too.
moped(scooter)arsonist- Either way he wasn't escaping on it.
breast milk bandit- That is assault with a deadly weapon due to it being a bodily fluid that could be contaminated with a disease.
DC school- It would be interesting to go through records and see who gets harassed for absences and who gets away with the same amount of them.
Wally World- There is always some sh!t going on in WW they are a weirdo/scumbag magnet.
vandalized by semen- Amphetamines make you horny?? Never heard that before.
coyotes- See there, no training at all and they acted as volunteer K-9 deputies!
Never pee on bees!!- I know it was wasps but bees is just even funnier.
Hi guys, the new job is kicking my ass but I will try to get on here more. Weather gave us an early day today. 😊 Love ya!
porn hub- bet you could get those other plushy organs from these guys.
sighing- Next eye rolling will be a felony over there.
photo math- One way to fix that, when taking an exam cell phones in a basket on the instructor's desk during it. I know much too simple a solution to implement, maybe a $50,000.00 study will come up with something complex and unworkable to try.
mothballs- Well if the complaining neighbors kept their dogs home or picked up after them they would not have the problem. But, oh yeah, she's nutty too.
moped(scooter)arsonist- Either way he wasn't escaping on it.
breast milk bandit- That is assault with a deadly weapon due to it being a bodily fluid that could be contaminated with a disease.
DC school- It would be interesting to go through records and see who gets harassed for absences and who gets away with the same amount of them.
Wally World- There is always some sh!t going on in WW they are a weirdo/scumbag magnet.
vandalized by semen- Amphetamines make you horny?? Never heard that before.
coyotes- See there, no training at all and they acted as volunteer K-9 deputies!
Never pee on bees!!- I know it was wasps but bees is just even funnier.
Hi guys, the new job is kicking my ass but I will try to get on here more. Weather gave us an early day today. 😊 Love ya!
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 11/17/14 at 11:25 AM
"after an apparent violent episode with his mother and girlfriend." The article cleared up the fact that these were not the same person.
Posted by RobK on 11/17/14 at 11:40 AM
Mandarin Mothballs - I would suggest a sweet & sour solution to her canine conundrum.
Posted by BHicks on 11/21/14 at 09:01 AM
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