News of the Weird (November 20, 2016)
News of the Weird
Weirdnuz.M502, November 20, 2016
Copyright 2016 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
While "democracy" in most of America means electing representatives to run government, in San Francisco it also on November 8th expected voters to decide 43 often vague, densely-worded "issues" that, according to critics, could better be handled by the professionals who are, after all, elected by those very same voters. Except for hot-button issues like tax increases or hardened legislative gridlock, solutions on these "propositions" (e.g., how certain contractors' fees should be structured; which obscure official has primary responsibility for which obscure job--or the notorious proposition asking whether actors in the tax-paying porno industry must use condoms) would be, in other states, left to elected officials, lessening voter need for a deep dive into civics. [CityLab.com, 1-7-2016">CityLab.com, 11-7-2016]
Police Report
Inexplicable: (1) The police chief of Bath Township, Ohio, acknowledged the overnight break-in on October 10th or 11th at the University Hospitals Ghent Family Practice but said nothing was missing. It appeared that an intruder (or intruders) had performed some medical procedure in a clinical office (probably on an ear) because instruments were left in bowls and a surgical glove and medication wrappings tossed into a trash can (and a gown left on a table). (2) A 35-year-old man was detained by police in Vancouver, British Columbia, in October after a home break-in in which the intruder took off his clothes, grabbed some eggs, and began preparing a meal. The homeowner, elsewhere in the house, noticed the commotion, and the intruder fled (still naked). [WEWS-TV (Cleveland), 10-27-2016] [CTV News (Vancouver), 10-20-2016]
How To Tell If You've Had Too Much To Drink: Ashley Basich, 49, was arrested in Cheyenne, Wyo., in October and charged with DUI after police found her, late at night, using an industrial forklift to pick up and move a van that she explained was blocking her driveway. Problems: She works for the state forestry department and had commandeered a state-owned vehicle; she had a cooler of beer in the forklift and was operating it while wearing flip-flops (OSHA violation!); and the van "blocking" her driveway was her own. [Wyoming Tribune Eagle (Cheyenne), 11-2-2016]
Though most Chicago Police Department officers get no more than five civilian complaints in their entire careers (according to one defense attorney), CPD internal records released in October reveal that some had more than 100, and, of 13,000 complaints over 47 years in which police wrongdoing was conceded, only 68 cases resulted in the officer actually being fired (although the worst police offender, Jerome Finnigan, with 157 complaints over two decades, is now in federal prison). [Associated Press via Chicago Tribune, 10-15-2016]
Compelling Explanations
Two men in rural Coffee County, Ga., told sheriff's deputies in November that they had planned to soon attack a science-research center in Alaska because peoples' "souls" were trapped there and needed to be released (or at least that is what God told Michael Mancil, 30, and James Dryden Jr., 22, causing them to amass a small, but "something out of a movie" arsenal, according to the sheriff). The High Frequency Active Aural Research Facility, run by the University of Alaska Fairbanks, has long been a target of conspiracists, in that "the study of the Earth's atmosphere" obviously, they say, facilitates "mind control," snatching souls. [WALB-TV (Albany, Ga.), 11-1-2016]
Well, Of Course! (1) Motorist Luke Campbell, 28, was arrested near Minneapolis in September and charged with firing his gun at several passing cars, wounding one man (a bus passenger)--explaining to a bystander that shooting at other vehicles "relieves stress." (2) Briton Mark Wright, 45, caught with illegal drugs taped to his penis following his arrest for burglary, told Newcastle Crown Court in September that he had "hidden" them there to keep them secret from his wife (perhaps identifying one place that she no longer visits). [Star Tribune (Minneapolis), 9-23-2016] [The Chronicle (Newcastle), 9-28-2016]
Leading Economic Indicators
Recent Hospital Bills: (1) Paula D'Amore claimed she deserved a discount from the $7,400 "delivery room" charge for the April birth of her daughter at Boca Raton (Fla.) Regional Hospital--because the baby was actually "born" in the backseat of her car in the hospital's parking lot. (Nurses came out to assist D'Amore's husband in the "final stages," but, said D'Amore, only the placenta was delivered inside.) (2) In October, new father Ryan Grassley balked at the $39.95 line-item charge from Utah Valley Hospital (Provo, Utah)--for the mother's holding her new C-section son momentarily to her bare chest (a "bonding" ritual). (Doctors countered that C-section mothers are usually drugged and require extra security during that ritual--but that Utah Valley might rethink making that charge a "line item.") [WPTV (West Palm Beach), 10-31-2016] [CTV News (Toronto), 10-4-2016]
People With Issues
A 49-year-old man was partly exonerated by a court in southern Sweden in September when he convinced the judge that he had a severe anxiety attack every time he received an "official" government letter in the mail (known as "window envelopes" in Sweden). Thus, though he was guilty of DUI and several other minor traffic offenses while operating his scooter, the judge dropped the charge of driving without a license because the man never opened the string of "frightening" letters informing him that operating a scooter requires a license. [The Local (Stockholm), 9-3-2016]
Least Competent Criminals
Jacob Roemer, 20, was arrested in Negaunee Township, Mich., after a brief chase on October 29th following an attempted home invasion. The resident had confronted him, chasing Roemer into the woods, where a State Police dog eventually found him lying on the ground unconscious and bloody, after, in the darkness, running into a tree and knocking himself out. [Marquette Mining Journal, 10-30-2016]
Recurring Themes
(1) The most recent case in which an unlucky cannabis grower came to police attention occurred in Adelaide, Australia, in August when a motorist accidentally veered off the road and crashed into a grow house, collapsing part of a wall. Arriving police peered inside and quickly began a search for the residents, who were not at home. (2) The latest market price for a coveted automobile license plate is apparently the equivalent of $9 million--the amount paid by Dubai developer Balwinder Sahni at government auction recently for plate number "5." [The Advertiser (Adelaide), 8-1-2016] [CNN Money (Dubai), 10-31-2016]
Readers' Choice
For not the first time in history, a fire broke out this year in a hospital operating room caused by the patient's passing gas during a laser procedure. The patient at Tokyo Medical University Hospital, in her 30s, suffered burns across her legs in the April incident, which was finally reported in the Japanese press in October when the hospital completed its investigation. [Asahi Shimbun (Tokyo), 10-30-2016]
The Passing Parade
(1) Asher Woodworth, 30, was charged with misdemeanor traffic obstruction in the Portland, Maine, arts district in October as he stood in a street after covering himself with branches of evergreen trees. A friend described Woodworth as a performance artist contrasting his preferred "slow life" with the bustle of downtown traffic. (2) Aldeburgh Golf Club in England saw fit in September to issue a special rule allowing a no-stroke ball "drop" for players plagued by neighbor Peter Bryson's cat Merlin's habit of snatching about six balls a day from the 14th fairway. [Portland Press Herald, 10-26-2016] [BBC News, 9-19-2016]
A News of the Weird Classic (January 2013)
Anthony Johnson, 49, was convicted in October [2012] in Hartford, Conn., of stealing an improbably large amount of money--as much as $70,000 a weekend, off and on for five years--by crawling on the floor of darkened theaters and lifting credit cards from purses that movie-watching women had set down. The FBI said Johnson was careful to pick films likely to engross female viewers so that he could operate freely, and that he was often able to take the cards, leave the theater, and make cash-advance withdrawals from ATMs before the movie had ended. [Hartford Courant, 10-22-2012]
Thanks This Week to Caroline Lawler, Jenny Van West, Babs Klein, Larry Nixon, Maggie Morgan, Zach Riipinen, Andrew Hastie, and Elaine Weiss, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
Weirdnuz.M502, November 20, 2016
Copyright 2016 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
While "democracy" in most of America means electing representatives to run government, in San Francisco it also on November 8th expected voters to decide 43 often vague, densely-worded "issues" that, according to critics, could better be handled by the professionals who are, after all, elected by those very same voters. Except for hot-button issues like tax increases or hardened legislative gridlock, solutions on these "propositions" (e.g., how certain contractors' fees should be structured; which obscure official has primary responsibility for which obscure job--or the notorious proposition asking whether actors in the tax-paying porno industry must use condoms) would be, in other states, left to elected officials, lessening voter need for a deep dive into civics. [CityLab.com, 1-7-2016">CityLab.com, 11-7-2016]
Police Report
Inexplicable: (1) The police chief of Bath Township, Ohio, acknowledged the overnight break-in on October 10th or 11th at the University Hospitals Ghent Family Practice but said nothing was missing. It appeared that an intruder (or intruders) had performed some medical procedure in a clinical office (probably on an ear) because instruments were left in bowls and a surgical glove and medication wrappings tossed into a trash can (and a gown left on a table). (2) A 35-year-old man was detained by police in Vancouver, British Columbia, in October after a home break-in in which the intruder took off his clothes, grabbed some eggs, and began preparing a meal. The homeowner, elsewhere in the house, noticed the commotion, and the intruder fled (still naked). [WEWS-TV (Cleveland), 10-27-2016] [CTV News (Vancouver), 10-20-2016]
How To Tell If You've Had Too Much To Drink: Ashley Basich, 49, was arrested in Cheyenne, Wyo., in October and charged with DUI after police found her, late at night, using an industrial forklift to pick up and move a van that she explained was blocking her driveway. Problems: She works for the state forestry department and had commandeered a state-owned vehicle; she had a cooler of beer in the forklift and was operating it while wearing flip-flops (OSHA violation!); and the van "blocking" her driveway was her own. [Wyoming Tribune Eagle (Cheyenne), 11-2-2016]
Though most Chicago Police Department officers get no more than five civilian complaints in their entire careers (according to one defense attorney), CPD internal records released in October reveal that some had more than 100, and, of 13,000 complaints over 47 years in which police wrongdoing was conceded, only 68 cases resulted in the officer actually being fired (although the worst police offender, Jerome Finnigan, with 157 complaints over two decades, is now in federal prison). [Associated Press via Chicago Tribune, 10-15-2016]
Compelling Explanations
Two men in rural Coffee County, Ga., told sheriff's deputies in November that they had planned to soon attack a science-research center in Alaska because peoples' "souls" were trapped there and needed to be released (or at least that is what God told Michael Mancil, 30, and James Dryden Jr., 22, causing them to amass a small, but "something out of a movie" arsenal, according to the sheriff). The High Frequency Active Aural Research Facility, run by the University of Alaska Fairbanks, has long been a target of conspiracists, in that "the study of the Earth's atmosphere" obviously, they say, facilitates "mind control," snatching souls. [WALB-TV (Albany, Ga.), 11-1-2016]
Well, Of Course! (1) Motorist Luke Campbell, 28, was arrested near Minneapolis in September and charged with firing his gun at several passing cars, wounding one man (a bus passenger)--explaining to a bystander that shooting at other vehicles "relieves stress." (2) Briton Mark Wright, 45, caught with illegal drugs taped to his penis following his arrest for burglary, told Newcastle Crown Court in September that he had "hidden" them there to keep them secret from his wife (perhaps identifying one place that she no longer visits). [Star Tribune (Minneapolis), 9-23-2016] [The Chronicle (Newcastle), 9-28-2016]
Leading Economic Indicators
Recent Hospital Bills: (1) Paula D'Amore claimed she deserved a discount from the $7,400 "delivery room" charge for the April birth of her daughter at Boca Raton (Fla.) Regional Hospital--because the baby was actually "born" in the backseat of her car in the hospital's parking lot. (Nurses came out to assist D'Amore's husband in the "final stages," but, said D'Amore, only the placenta was delivered inside.) (2) In October, new father Ryan Grassley balked at the $39.95 line-item charge from Utah Valley Hospital (Provo, Utah)--for the mother's holding her new C-section son momentarily to her bare chest (a "bonding" ritual). (Doctors countered that C-section mothers are usually drugged and require extra security during that ritual--but that Utah Valley might rethink making that charge a "line item.") [WPTV (West Palm Beach), 10-31-2016] [CTV News (Toronto), 10-4-2016]
People With Issues
A 49-year-old man was partly exonerated by a court in southern Sweden in September when he convinced the judge that he had a severe anxiety attack every time he received an "official" government letter in the mail (known as "window envelopes" in Sweden). Thus, though he was guilty of DUI and several other minor traffic offenses while operating his scooter, the judge dropped the charge of driving without a license because the man never opened the string of "frightening" letters informing him that operating a scooter requires a license. [The Local (Stockholm), 9-3-2016]
Least Competent Criminals
Jacob Roemer, 20, was arrested in Negaunee Township, Mich., after a brief chase on October 29th following an attempted home invasion. The resident had confronted him, chasing Roemer into the woods, where a State Police dog eventually found him lying on the ground unconscious and bloody, after, in the darkness, running into a tree and knocking himself out. [Marquette Mining Journal, 10-30-2016]
Recurring Themes
(1) The most recent case in which an unlucky cannabis grower came to police attention occurred in Adelaide, Australia, in August when a motorist accidentally veered off the road and crashed into a grow house, collapsing part of a wall. Arriving police peered inside and quickly began a search for the residents, who were not at home. (2) The latest market price for a coveted automobile license plate is apparently the equivalent of $9 million--the amount paid by Dubai developer Balwinder Sahni at government auction recently for plate number "5." [The Advertiser (Adelaide), 8-1-2016] [CNN Money (Dubai), 10-31-2016]
Readers' Choice
For not the first time in history, a fire broke out this year in a hospital operating room caused by the patient's passing gas during a laser procedure. The patient at Tokyo Medical University Hospital, in her 30s, suffered burns across her legs in the April incident, which was finally reported in the Japanese press in October when the hospital completed its investigation. [Asahi Shimbun (Tokyo), 10-30-2016]
The Passing Parade
(1) Asher Woodworth, 30, was charged with misdemeanor traffic obstruction in the Portland, Maine, arts district in October as he stood in a street after covering himself with branches of evergreen trees. A friend described Woodworth as a performance artist contrasting his preferred "slow life" with the bustle of downtown traffic. (2) Aldeburgh Golf Club in England saw fit in September to issue a special rule allowing a no-stroke ball "drop" for players plagued by neighbor Peter Bryson's cat Merlin's habit of snatching about six balls a day from the 14th fairway. [Portland Press Herald, 10-26-2016] [BBC News, 9-19-2016]
A News of the Weird Classic (January 2013)
Anthony Johnson, 49, was convicted in October [2012] in Hartford, Conn., of stealing an improbably large amount of money--as much as $70,000 a weekend, off and on for five years--by crawling on the floor of darkened theaters and lifting credit cards from purses that movie-watching women had set down. The FBI said Johnson was careful to pick films likely to engross female viewers so that he could operate freely, and that he was often able to take the cards, leave the theater, and make cash-advance withdrawals from ATMs before the movie had ended. [Hartford Courant, 10-22-2012]
Thanks This Week to Caroline Lawler, Jenny Van West, Babs Klein, Larry Nixon, Maggie Morgan, Zach Riipinen, Andrew Hastie, and Elaine Weiss, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
Comments
I'm approaching 15 years of living in California and I've got to say I've voted more often (and done more research) here than in any other state I've lived in. My 2016 ballot was four pages, approximately 2 foot tall, and had 17 Propositions plus innumerable (because I didn't count) local and state office races in addition to the Presidential vote.
My favorite propositions are the ones that are purposefully phrased in such a way as to cause mass confusion, i.e Measures that, in order to support the proposition require a "No" vote. Or vice versa. Amazing how they run this state. BUT, I once found myself with the option to vote for Gary Coleman (yes, "Whatchoo Talkin' 'Bout, Willis" Gary Coleman) and that made up for it! He's the only politician that has run for Governor of this state since I moved here who truly measured up to the job.
My favorite propositions are the ones that are purposefully phrased in such a way as to cause mass confusion, i.e Measures that, in order to support the proposition require a "No" vote. Or vice versa. Amazing how they run this state. BUT, I once found myself with the option to vote for Gary Coleman (yes, "Whatchoo Talkin' 'Bout, Willis" Gary Coleman) and that made up for it! He's the only politician that has run for Governor of this state since I moved here who truly measured up to the job.
Posted by PupTentacle on 11/20/16 at 09:56 PM
I wonder if Asher Woodworth (great name!), the guy who dressed as a tree, had been influenced by Macbeth.
Posted by ges on 11/20/16 at 10:41 PM
There are pros and cons to California allowing its residents to vote on measures.
On the one hand, it requires (I use that word loosely) the voter to perform due diligence on the measures up for vote. (Hahahahaha-- gasp-- hahaha...)
On the other, it ensures the foxes don't have total control over the hen house, by ensuring the voters have a degree of direct input into the laws being voted on.
Proposals that change the state's constitution are only decided by voters; the Legislature proposes the amendment, which is then placed on the statewide ballot.
One of the things I'm most frustrated with Congress about is that Congress is the only entity capable of making rules governing Congress: their pay, benefits, allowances, etc. I like to believe they would be a little more attentive to the needs of their constituents if voters had the ability to directly smack them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
On the one hand, it requires (I use that word loosely) the voter to perform due diligence on the measures up for vote. (Hahahahaha-- gasp-- hahaha...)
On the other, it ensures the foxes don't have total control over the hen house, by ensuring the voters have a degree of direct input into the laws being voted on.
Proposals that change the state's constitution are only decided by voters; the Legislature proposes the amendment, which is then placed on the statewide ballot.
One of the things I'm most frustrated with Congress about is that Congress is the only entity capable of making rules governing Congress: their pay, benefits, allowances, etc. I like to believe they would be a little more attentive to the needs of their constituents if voters had the ability to directly smack them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
Posted by Justin S. on 11/21/16 at 12:15 AM
Justin - The problem with Congress is term limits, or the lack thereof. The system was SUPPOSED to be "The people of this state think Joe Rancher would make a good Congressman. Joe Rancher gets the position and goes to Washington. Joe Rancher does the best job he can for the people of his district but the entire time he's worried about and patiently waiting to go home to his ranch and secretly hoping he won't have to go again". Public service. It was never intended to be a CAREER! Now Congresspeople end up in there, beholden to all of the people back home who got him here and stays for forty years, losing touch with the people who put him there in the first place. I'm constantly amazed by the polls that show people HATE Congress...but THEIR guy is OK. It's almost universal.
Posted by PupTentacle on 11/21/16 at 12:10 PM
Trump has Congressional term limits in his list, but good luck with that. Once again, guess who would actually vote on it: the self-plugging swamp.
Posted by Virtual on 11/21/16 at 04:34 PM
It's interesting that that is the thing you're worrying about. Over here, the ones causing problems are not the career politicians, but opinionated amateurs who swan in, spend one term b*&&ering; things up by dint of incompetence, inexperience, and the general impression that this politicking game is child's play, and then return to their cushy CFO-ships before they can be held to account.
Posted by Richard Bos on 11/27/16 at 08:11 AM
How did Mr. Johnson make cash advances without knowing the womens' PINs?
Posted by Hollis Winthrop on 12/15/16 at 09:25 AM
Commenting is not available in this channel entry.
Category: