News of the Weird / Plus, June 9, 2015
News of the Weird / Plus
June 9, 2015 (Part 2) [weird stuff that made me excited (frightened) (ROTFL) (appalled) last week, some of which will appear in News of the Weird soon] [Part 1 on Monday, Part 2 on Tuesday]
The website Quartz reported (with dramatic photos) the lengths to which Chinese test-takers will go to score well on the crucial-to-success gaokao exam by cheating. Like, in-ear radio receivers so small as to be undetected on sight. Fingerprint film to defeat the fingerprint scanners that supposedly keep out impersonators. Cameras in pens, eyeglasses, and beverage cans. However, monitors are in the house--in Luoyang, launching a drone over the cavernous test facilities to pinpoint signals of the designated genius somewhere in the room tapping out answers. Breathtaking. Quartz
Investigating a traffic collision, Oklahoma Highway Patrol troopers (You know the drill--“Pop the trunk”) saw the trunk slowly rise . . and a snapping turtle lurching at them. (Explanation: The driver had a drug stash but feared being robbed.) KOCO-TV (Oklahoma City)
Oh, jeez, in Papua New Guinea, a fish that walks on land, and it’s about to migrate to Australia (which will yawn . . because they have scarier stuff already). Business Insider
“Oops, I Didn’t Realize . .”: (1) a plane crash above the airport at Talkeetna, Alaska, but the Cessna 185 pilot said the “crash” part only dawned on him after he landed. (2) the Ottawa driver was too stinkin’ drunk to realize that he had hit that cyclist--and consequently cannot be guilty of hit-and-run. Alaska Dispatch News /// Ottawa Citizen
Another Day, Another Credulity-Straining Fatwa: No pigeon-breeding (wastes time that should be spent praying, plus God don’t want to see no pigeon genitals, and you shouldn’t see them, either). [ed.: I’m always skeptical of these fatwas, but then, there was a Christian pastor recently telling followers that Starbucks makes its lattes from "sodomite semen," so . . ..] Daily Mail /// Advocate.com
Best Headline: (from BizPacReview.com) Business Owner Takes Bullet To Groin To Prove His Nutshellz Jockstrap Works
In Tarpon Springs, Fla. (near Weird Central), painter Piotr Janowski covered his home in aluminum foil--he had some “reasons”--and neighbors went nuts. ("Reasons" does not include paranoia or radio-frequency sensitivity, apparently.) Said Janowski, “Bad or good opinion is always good for an artist.” Bay News 9 (St. Petersburg)
Behold the Cuckoo! There’s no news hook here (except that Nick Davies’s book was reviewed last week in the Wall Street Journal), but you should be aware that the iconic bellwether bird is also notable in her ability to lay eggs in other birds’ nests--meaning that it slyly dumps the other’s eggs out on the ground, one by one, and subtly substitutes its own in place. Intelligent Design! (What a guy that Lord is!) Wall Street Journal
June 9, 2015 (Part 2) [weird stuff that made me excited (frightened) (ROTFL) (appalled) last week, some of which will appear in News of the Weird soon] [Part 1 on Monday, Part 2 on Tuesday]
The website Quartz reported (with dramatic photos) the lengths to which Chinese test-takers will go to score well on the crucial-to-success gaokao exam by cheating. Like, in-ear radio receivers so small as to be undetected on sight. Fingerprint film to defeat the fingerprint scanners that supposedly keep out impersonators. Cameras in pens, eyeglasses, and beverage cans. However, monitors are in the house--in Luoyang, launching a drone over the cavernous test facilities to pinpoint signals of the designated genius somewhere in the room tapping out answers. Breathtaking. Quartz
Investigating a traffic collision, Oklahoma Highway Patrol troopers (You know the drill--“Pop the trunk”) saw the trunk slowly rise . . and a snapping turtle lurching at them. (Explanation: The driver had a drug stash but feared being robbed.) KOCO-TV (Oklahoma City)
Oh, jeez, in Papua New Guinea, a fish that walks on land, and it’s about to migrate to Australia (which will yawn . . because they have scarier stuff already). Business Insider
“Oops, I Didn’t Realize . .”: (1) a plane crash above the airport at Talkeetna, Alaska, but the Cessna 185 pilot said the “crash” part only dawned on him after he landed. (2) the Ottawa driver was too stinkin’ drunk to realize that he had hit that cyclist--and consequently cannot be guilty of hit-and-run. Alaska Dispatch News /// Ottawa Citizen
Another Day, Another Credulity-Straining Fatwa: No pigeon-breeding (wastes time that should be spent praying, plus God don’t want to see no pigeon genitals, and you shouldn’t see them, either). [ed.: I’m always skeptical of these fatwas, but then, there was a Christian pastor recently telling followers that Starbucks makes its lattes from "sodomite semen," so . . ..] Daily Mail /// Advocate.com
Best Headline: (from BizPacReview.com) Business Owner Takes Bullet To Groin To Prove His Nutshellz Jockstrap Works
In Tarpon Springs, Fla. (near Weird Central), painter Piotr Janowski covered his home in aluminum foil--he had some “reasons”--and neighbors went nuts. ("Reasons" does not include paranoia or radio-frequency sensitivity, apparently.) Said Janowski, “Bad or good opinion is always good for an artist.” Bay News 9 (St. Petersburg)
Behold the Cuckoo! There’s no news hook here (except that Nick Davies’s book was reviewed last week in the Wall Street Journal), but you should be aware that the iconic bellwether bird is also notable in her ability to lay eggs in other birds’ nests--meaning that it slyly dumps the other’s eggs out on the ground, one by one, and subtly substitutes its own in place. Intelligent Design! (What a guy that Lord is!) Wall Street Journal
Comments
“Oops, I Didn’t Realize . .” .. How drunk do you have to be to not realize you have hit another plane ? I flew gliders and my mother's Cherokee 180 so I find this is just nuts.
Pigeon Genitals : So I guess radical Muslims have VERY good eyes. Does this mean they also need to diaper all those sacred cows ?
I have a armor piecing bullet proof ceramic vest with a Velcro groin plate on it but I don't think I want to test it any time soon. It weighs a freakin' ton though compared to my Kevlar pistol proof one the Sheriff reserve provided to me.
Tin foil no longer works .. the gov't has found a way to beam through it to your brain from outer space.
Keep up the good work Chuck :lol:
Pigeon Genitals : So I guess radical Muslims have VERY good eyes. Does this mean they also need to diaper all those sacred cows ?
I have a armor piecing bullet proof ceramic vest with a Velcro groin plate on it but I don't think I want to test it any time soon. It weighs a freakin' ton though compared to my Kevlar pistol proof one the Sheriff reserve provided to me.
Tin foil no longer works .. the gov't has found a way to beam through it to your brain from outer space.
Keep up the good work Chuck :lol:
Posted by BrokeDad in Midwest US on 06/09/15 at 06:15 PM
If I'm not mistaken, it's the cuckoo chicks that chuck out the eggs of the nest owner.
Posted by Robb on 06/09/15 at 10:27 PM
Asians- So, they aren't all that much smarter, they just cheat better.
Guard turtle- Pretty ingenious really, but it didn't work.
Walking fish- Reminded me of those Fosters commercials.
Bird genitals- The crazy is strong with this one!
Ultimate cup- Gotta believe in yourself.
Foil- If they make him take it down he ca say, " Rats, foiled again!"
For the birds- What do you expect, the bird is cuckoo!
Guard turtle- Pretty ingenious really, but it didn't work.
Walking fish- Reminded me of those Fosters commercials.
Bird genitals- The crazy is strong with this one!
Ultimate cup- Gotta believe in yourself.
Foil- If they make him take it down he ca say, " Rats, foiled again!"
For the birds- What do you expect, the bird is cuckoo!
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 06/10/15 at 08:34 AM
Ottawa Driver: When the police screw up that badly, they should be held accountable.
Posted by Billy on 06/10/15 at 08:53 AM
BD,
It's the Hindus that have sacred cattle. I cant keep track of these radical fringe Muslim groups since they keep changing the fatwas rules so often. Living there could get your head removed for violation of any number of recent rule changes. Perhaps we should bomb them with high quality Colorado grass to keep the stress levels down...
It's the Hindus that have sacred cattle. I cant keep track of these radical fringe Muslim groups since they keep changing the fatwas rules so often. Living there could get your head removed for violation of any number of recent rule changes. Perhaps we should bomb them with high quality Colorado grass to keep the stress levels down...
Posted by Gator Guy on 06/10/15 at 06:39 PM
Drop Xanax in the water supply maybe?
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 06/11/15 at 06:53 AM
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