News of the Weird / Pro Edition (October 10, 2011)
News of the Weird/Pro Edition
You're Still Not Cynical Enough
Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
October 10, 2011
(datelines October 1-October 8) (links correct as of October 10)
The Tone-Deaf Head Teacher/Porn Writer, Plus Even More Things to Worry About
★ ★ ★ ★!
Can't Possibly Be True: A prominent education official in Ontario has published a novel for teens that he says is to "empower" them about their sexuality but will surely be a hit on ephebophile websites. Sexteens and the Fake Goddess is set at a school of ultra-horny students, and the Toronto Star calls out its "striptease, breast fondling, bum grabbing [and] orgasms," with a headmaster telling a pep rally that "if he was younger, he would have sex with all the girls in the audience." The author, Jacques Tremblay, is chair of discipline of the Ontario College of Teachers--ruling on charges of misbehavior by teachers. (Bonus: Tremblay's resume says he's a certified trainer in "infant massage.") (Double Bonus: The deputy headmaster in the book is Mr. Harry Dick.) Toronto Star
Fine Points of UK Human Rights Law: Initial reports said a British judge had granted residence to a Bolivian immigrant solely because sending him back home would disrupt his cat's quality of life. Now that we've had a chance to take a deep breath, it turns out that . . um, it's almost true. The judge said he was persuaded that the immigrant had established a "family" relationship with his same-sex partner, and, as exhibit number one for calling the couple a family (rather than a hook-up) there is Maya, the cat! Daily Mail
Urban farms are common, and maybe even urban animal farms (where there are vacant lots and big backyards). Here is urban chicken-farming in a 1BR apartment in New York City's Queens. "I don't think it's the ideal situation," said the farmer. But chickens are "loving," "cute," "fun to [watch] run around," "excited when we come home." Downside: "[T]hey poop everywhere." New York Daily News
He's not done yet. Pastor Harold Camping, recently recovered from the stroke God visited upon him for screwing up the May 21st "rapture," has decided he was off by only five months and that the Day of Doom is October 21st. There is no pressure on y'all this time around, for the Lord's list was already made up by May 21st. Seattle Post-Intelligencer [Bonus: At the link is a video link in which Camping explains his Biblical mix-up]
Absurdities
Tough Jobs: In Thailand, a 10-person shop scans the Internet 24/7 looking for insults, however slight, to the royal family. Hardest part of the job: clever metaphors and code words. New York Times via CNBC
Snoop Dogg posted a YouTube clip calling out Welsh farmer Ian Neale, who made the news for growing an 85-lb. rutabaga. " do vegetation myself [ed.: hint, hint], and I want to know your secret." He offered Ian two tickets to his Cardiff concert last week. (Buried Lede: Snoop Dogg is big in Wales.) Sky News (London)
Childbirth is hard, but the marginal "art" value added must be minuscule. Nonetheless, the very pregnant performance artist Marni Kotak will be on display in Brooklyn, N.Y., for the next five weeks at the Microscope Gallery, where visitors could well be there to see first-hand when, as Ricky Ricardo said, "The time has come!" Kotak has done staged versions of her own birth and the time she lost her virginity, but this will be her initial foray into reality art. New York Post
Some folks think India needs even more people. Several parishes in Kerala state are offering incentives, including the equivalent of $200 for a fifth child. (These are Christians, who along with Hindus are on the decline, as Muslims rise.) BBC News
Tex-ass Justice (continued): In Johnson County, a jury determined that first-time offender Jose Segovia Jr. (who had a shot at probation, even, when he pleaded guilty to possession of 55g of cocaine, less than two ounces), deserved 36 years. Fort Worth Star-Telegram
You might remember that a commuter plane crashed near Buffalo the month after President Obama's inauguration, with the high-profile cause suspected to be pilot fatigue, brought on by low pay that encouraged young commuter pilots to work medical-resident hours. The head of the FAA, and the SecTrans, were horrified and vowed quick action. New definition of "quick": something beyond 31 months. Have a nice flight! Washington Post
Losers
Michael Aurilio, 27, is a loser, but why? Is it because the money jar he swiped was for terminally-ill children? Or is it because he snatched the jar with a cop standing right behind him? Associated Press via Washington Post
People Different From Us: (1) Benito Apolinar, 36, Carlsbad, N.Mex., was charged with roughing up the missus . . because he had recently posted a heartfelt tribute to his late mom on Facebook, and gotten lots of "Likes," but nothing from the missus. "That's amazing [that] everyone 'likes' my status but you. You're my wife. You should be the first one to 'like' my status." So he popped her (allegedly). (2) In Charlotte, N.C., one woman rammed another's car, sending the vic to the hospital--because the vic had said 'Good morning' to the lady's boyfriend (Bonus: in front of the daycare school where both had just dropped off their toddlers). Carlsbad Current Argus /// WSOC-TV (Charlotte)
The Pervo-American Community
Amanda Owens, 18, was charged with three burglaries, which she said she did to get money to buy more porno CDs because she's addicted. (Bonus: with the complexion of a porn addict) WCCO-TV (Minneapolis)
Your Weekly Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . . until the mug shot is released]
Michael Campbell was arrested, still recognizable even though his face is covered with tats. (It doesn't matter what he's charged with.) The Smoking Gun
A slice of life in De Kalb County, Ala.: A large-scale drug bust picked up these 26 refined, genteel residents of northern Alabama, who are conveniently pictured in this quick-look slide strip. WTVC-TV (Chattanooga, Tenn.)
What's wrong with this picture? "'Chick,' 71, and Man, 54, Busted in Naked Car Romp" The Smoking Gun
Oh! Dear!
The first news reports were super-bizarre--that Amish guys were invading homes of other Amish people and cutting off their hair. It turns out that even the Amish can have a "breakaway" sect of the holy irritated and that they may exact strange revenge. (Bonus: This sect of 18 families in the Bergholz, Ohio, area is centered around the "Mullet" family.) WKYC-TV (Cleveland)
It Says Here . . that a Russian woman survived a stab at her heart when the blade was deflected by her breast implant. Daily Mail (London)
As with the immigrant/cat story above, the initial reports of this one, from Leipzig, Germany, were suspicious. Plus, they were only in Germany's super tabloid Bild, which reported that a vendor was routinely selling coats and vests so soft that--check the label!--yes, they were made with cat hair. Then, Germany's news authority, Spiegel Online, sent a reporter to the scene, and . . it's true! (Bonus: The tailor says it takes 18 cats to make a coat.) Spiegel Online
Updates & Recurring Themes
Recurring (sort of): The New York Post outed the pay record of a staff psychiatrist (base salary, $173,000) at a New York City government hospital and found him to have earned nearly $700,000 in 2009 by working a tad of overtime. He averaged 70 O/T hours a week for the year, once pulling 96 hours straight--and authorities contacted by the Post say it is plausible that none of it was fraud. (Doctors can be on the clock and still grab winks here and there if business is slow, and a shrink's work is not exactly Emergency Room frenzy. Still--.) New York Post
Recurring: Kraig Stockard, 54, Delhi, Calif., is the most recent sad sack to report a burglary at his home and be oblivious that the perps had made off with his child-porn stash (who would turn it in to cops) (bonus mugshot of a very unhappy man). KCRA-TV (Sacramento)
Update: Colorado state Sen. Suzanne Williams made News o' the Weird [M198, 1-23-2011] for causing an auto collision in Texas that resulted in a fatality and (according to troopers) her having to rush from her own vehicle to recover her ejected, injured grandson (who had been unbelted) and return him to her vehicle so she could belt him in. This was important to Sen. Williams because she had recently, notoriously, sponsored a child-belting law for Colorado. But then, after allegedly telling the trooper about that, she subsequently changed her mind and denied it. Last week, fatality notwithstanding, she was allowed to plead No Contest solely to a misdemeanor for driving on the wrong side of the road. KMGH-TV (Denver)
Police in Upper Arlington, Ohio, say they've not quite yet ID'd the person responsible for placing collection cups underneath the urinal mats at a Kroger supermarket men's room. News of the Weird readers surely know one "person of interest." WBNS-TV (Columbus) /// Person of Interest
Editor's Notes
A Washington Post reporter latched onto an idea Yr Editor has mused about from time to time over the years: Who are the people at the tail end of survey results? Like, when "98%" of Americans say that "child sacrifice" is wrong, who among the surveyed kept it from being 100%? The Post made a few phone calls to figure out who are the "14%" of Americans who still approve of the job Congress is doing. Yr Editor's Rule of Thumb: Tiny minorities are always more interesting than their majorities. Washington Post
The Nobel committee provided a teachable moment that Mr. Steve Jobs would surely have appreciated by awarding the chemistry prize to Israeli Dan Shechtman for a 1982 discovery that was roundly ridiculed--ridiculed!--by scientists back then and for years afterward. However, Shechtman knew he was right and persevered. Thus is the nature of "science." Baby steps forward, sometimes perhaps a few steps back, then forward, then perhaps back, and so on. It's never over. You never know if you know everything you need to know. Well, except for that global warming thingy of Al Gore's--we do know everything we'll ever need to know about that! (It's settled!) But except for that, science is a neverending journey. Associated Press via SFGate.com
Newsrangers: Paul Kusmierski, Hal Dunham, Sandy Pearlman, Jenny Morlan, Lyle Mariam, Craig Cryer, and Debra Taylor, and the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors
You're Still Not Cynical Enough
Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
October 10, 2011
(datelines October 1-October 8) (links correct as of October 10)
The Tone-Deaf Head Teacher/Porn Writer, Plus Even More Things to Worry About
★ ★ ★ ★!
Can't Possibly Be True: A prominent education official in Ontario has published a novel for teens that he says is to "empower" them about their sexuality but will surely be a hit on ephebophile websites. Sexteens and the Fake Goddess is set at a school of ultra-horny students, and the Toronto Star calls out its "striptease, breast fondling, bum grabbing [and] orgasms," with a headmaster telling a pep rally that "if he was younger, he would have sex with all the girls in the audience." The author, Jacques Tremblay, is chair of discipline of the Ontario College of Teachers--ruling on charges of misbehavior by teachers. (Bonus: Tremblay's resume says he's a certified trainer in "infant massage.") (Double Bonus: The deputy headmaster in the book is Mr. Harry Dick.) Toronto Star
Fine Points of UK Human Rights Law: Initial reports said a British judge had granted residence to a Bolivian immigrant solely because sending him back home would disrupt his cat's quality of life. Now that we've had a chance to take a deep breath, it turns out that . . um, it's almost true. The judge said he was persuaded that the immigrant had established a "family" relationship with his same-sex partner, and, as exhibit number one for calling the couple a family (rather than a hook-up) there is Maya, the cat! Daily Mail
Urban farms are common, and maybe even urban animal farms (where there are vacant lots and big backyards). Here is urban chicken-farming in a 1BR apartment in New York City's Queens. "I don't think it's the ideal situation," said the farmer. But chickens are "loving," "cute," "fun to [watch] run around," "excited when we come home." Downside: "[T]hey poop everywhere." New York Daily News
He's not done yet. Pastor Harold Camping, recently recovered from the stroke God visited upon him for screwing up the May 21st "rapture," has decided he was off by only five months and that the Day of Doom is October 21st. There is no pressure on y'all this time around, for the Lord's list was already made up by May 21st. Seattle Post-Intelligencer [Bonus: At the link is a video link in which Camping explains his Biblical mix-up]
Absurdities
Tough Jobs: In Thailand, a 10-person shop scans the Internet 24/7 looking for insults, however slight, to the royal family. Hardest part of the job: clever metaphors and code words. New York Times via CNBC
Snoop Dogg posted a YouTube clip calling out Welsh farmer Ian Neale, who made the news for growing an 85-lb. rutabaga. " do vegetation myself [ed.: hint, hint], and I want to know your secret." He offered Ian two tickets to his Cardiff concert last week. (Buried Lede: Snoop Dogg is big in Wales.) Sky News (London)
Childbirth is hard, but the marginal "art" value added must be minuscule. Nonetheless, the very pregnant performance artist Marni Kotak will be on display in Brooklyn, N.Y., for the next five weeks at the Microscope Gallery, where visitors could well be there to see first-hand when, as Ricky Ricardo said, "The time has come!" Kotak has done staged versions of her own birth and the time she lost her virginity, but this will be her initial foray into reality art. New York Post
Some folks think India needs even more people. Several parishes in Kerala state are offering incentives, including the equivalent of $200 for a fifth child. (These are Christians, who along with Hindus are on the decline, as Muslims rise.) BBC News
Tex-ass Justice (continued): In Johnson County, a jury determined that first-time offender Jose Segovia Jr. (who had a shot at probation, even, when he pleaded guilty to possession of 55g of cocaine, less than two ounces), deserved 36 years. Fort Worth Star-Telegram
You might remember that a commuter plane crashed near Buffalo the month after President Obama's inauguration, with the high-profile cause suspected to be pilot fatigue, brought on by low pay that encouraged young commuter pilots to work medical-resident hours. The head of the FAA, and the SecTrans, were horrified and vowed quick action. New definition of "quick": something beyond 31 months. Have a nice flight! Washington Post
Losers
Michael Aurilio, 27, is a loser, but why? Is it because the money jar he swiped was for terminally-ill children? Or is it because he snatched the jar with a cop standing right behind him? Associated Press via Washington Post
People Different From Us: (1) Benito Apolinar, 36, Carlsbad, N.Mex., was charged with roughing up the missus . . because he had recently posted a heartfelt tribute to his late mom on Facebook, and gotten lots of "Likes," but nothing from the missus. "That's amazing [that] everyone 'likes' my status but you. You're my wife. You should be the first one to 'like' my status." So he popped her (allegedly). (2) In Charlotte, N.C., one woman rammed another's car, sending the vic to the hospital--because the vic had said 'Good morning' to the lady's boyfriend (Bonus: in front of the daycare school where both had just dropped off their toddlers). Carlsbad Current Argus /// WSOC-TV (Charlotte)
The Pervo-American Community
Amanda Owens, 18, was charged with three burglaries, which she said she did to get money to buy more porno CDs because she's addicted. (Bonus: with the complexion of a porn addict) WCCO-TV (Minneapolis)
Your Weekly Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . . until the mug shot is released]
Michael Campbell was arrested, still recognizable even though his face is covered with tats. (It doesn't matter what he's charged with.) The Smoking Gun
A slice of life in De Kalb County, Ala.: A large-scale drug bust picked up these 26 refined, genteel residents of northern Alabama, who are conveniently pictured in this quick-look slide strip. WTVC-TV (Chattanooga, Tenn.)
What's wrong with this picture? "'Chick,' 71, and Man, 54, Busted in Naked Car Romp" The Smoking Gun
Oh! Dear!
The first news reports were super-bizarre--that Amish guys were invading homes of other Amish people and cutting off their hair. It turns out that even the Amish can have a "breakaway" sect of the holy irritated and that they may exact strange revenge. (Bonus: This sect of 18 families in the Bergholz, Ohio, area is centered around the "Mullet" family.) WKYC-TV (Cleveland)
It Says Here . . that a Russian woman survived a stab at her heart when the blade was deflected by her breast implant. Daily Mail (London)
As with the immigrant/cat story above, the initial reports of this one, from Leipzig, Germany, were suspicious. Plus, they were only in Germany's super tabloid Bild, which reported that a vendor was routinely selling coats and vests so soft that--check the label!--yes, they were made with cat hair. Then, Germany's news authority, Spiegel Online, sent a reporter to the scene, and . . it's true! (Bonus: The tailor says it takes 18 cats to make a coat.) Spiegel Online
Updates & Recurring Themes
Recurring (sort of): The New York Post outed the pay record of a staff psychiatrist (base salary, $173,000) at a New York City government hospital and found him to have earned nearly $700,000 in 2009 by working a tad of overtime. He averaged 70 O/T hours a week for the year, once pulling 96 hours straight--and authorities contacted by the Post say it is plausible that none of it was fraud. (Doctors can be on the clock and still grab winks here and there if business is slow, and a shrink's work is not exactly Emergency Room frenzy. Still--.) New York Post
Recurring: Kraig Stockard, 54, Delhi, Calif., is the most recent sad sack to report a burglary at his home and be oblivious that the perps had made off with his child-porn stash (who would turn it in to cops) (bonus mugshot of a very unhappy man). KCRA-TV (Sacramento)
Update: Colorado state Sen. Suzanne Williams made News o' the Weird [M198, 1-23-2011] for causing an auto collision in Texas that resulted in a fatality and (according to troopers) her having to rush from her own vehicle to recover her ejected, injured grandson (who had been unbelted) and return him to her vehicle so she could belt him in. This was important to Sen. Williams because she had recently, notoriously, sponsored a child-belting law for Colorado. But then, after allegedly telling the trooper about that, she subsequently changed her mind and denied it. Last week, fatality notwithstanding, she was allowed to plead No Contest solely to a misdemeanor for driving on the wrong side of the road. KMGH-TV (Denver)
Police in Upper Arlington, Ohio, say they've not quite yet ID'd the person responsible for placing collection cups underneath the urinal mats at a Kroger supermarket men's room. News of the Weird readers surely know one "person of interest." WBNS-TV (Columbus) /// Person of Interest
Editor's Notes
A Washington Post reporter latched onto an idea Yr Editor has mused about from time to time over the years: Who are the people at the tail end of survey results? Like, when "98%" of Americans say that "child sacrifice" is wrong, who among the surveyed kept it from being 100%? The Post made a few phone calls to figure out who are the "14%" of Americans who still approve of the job Congress is doing. Yr Editor's Rule of Thumb: Tiny minorities are always more interesting than their majorities. Washington Post
The Nobel committee provided a teachable moment that Mr. Steve Jobs would surely have appreciated by awarding the chemistry prize to Israeli Dan Shechtman for a 1982 discovery that was roundly ridiculed--ridiculed!--by scientists back then and for years afterward. However, Shechtman knew he was right and persevered. Thus is the nature of "science." Baby steps forward, sometimes perhaps a few steps back, then forward, then perhaps back, and so on. It's never over. You never know if you know everything you need to know. Well, except for that global warming thingy of Al Gore's--we do know everything we'll ever need to know about that! (It's settled!) But except for that, science is a neverending journey. Associated Press via SFGate.com
Newsrangers: Paul Kusmierski, Hal Dunham, Sandy Pearlman, Jenny Morlan, Lyle Mariam, Craig Cryer, and Debra Taylor, and the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors
Comments
Chickens I can vouch for the "chickens as pets" thing. My Great-Grandmother had a rooster that was devoted to her! (As in severely dangerous watch dog!)
Jury Duty #1: Compassionate release due to terminal zits!
#2: Dun opened a can'o whoopass on a passel o' critters.
#3: Full upper and lower dentures? Right?
A good week, Chuck!
Jury Duty #1: Compassionate release due to terminal zits!
#2: Dun opened a can'o whoopass on a passel o' critters.
#3: Full upper and lower dentures? Right?
A good week, Chuck!
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 10/10/11 at 11:07 AM
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