Ouch A Squirrel!

Forgot the beer on Christmas? That's a beating with a ceramic squirrel. The cops didn't buy the 'he just fell' excuse either.

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Alex Boese Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes. Paul Di Filippo Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over forty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. Contact Us

Posted By: Alex - Fri Dec 27, 2013
Category: Stupidity

Comments

According to CNN it was a .223 caliber assault squirrel. Surrounding neighbors were evacuated while a SWAT K-9 unit was brought in that solved the situation by telling their dog "SQUIRREL !!!!"

Posted by BrokeDad in Midwest US on 12/28/13 at 09:25 AM

The headline leads me to believe that a ceramic squirrel was stabbed. The text of the story leads me to believe that the squirrel was, in fact, a concealed weapon with which the dude was shot.

But, hay, the article was written by a professional writer and I'm just an amateur reader.

He's lucky they don't give out S&H Green Stamps any more or he'd've had to pay for that ommition too!

Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 12/28/13 at 10:25 AM

Thanks Patty! Any time I get to feeling lonely, You know just what to post to make me see that I should be glad! :lol: :coolsmile:

Posted by Tyrusguy on 12/28/13 at 11:34 AM

Sounds completely nuts.

Posted by datdemdar on 12/28/13 at 12:24 PM

Hold on... stabbed him? With that? I can take "beat", but "stabbed" with a blunt instrument doesn't float.

Posted by Richard Bos on 12/29/13 at 10:46 AM

@ Richard Bos:
I assume the ceramic squirrel broke during the assault, and he was cut by being beaten with the sharp edges.
I hope part of the wife's sentencing is mandatory rehab. Sounds like she has a real problem with alcohol.

Posted by Captain Daft on 12/29/13 at 02:00 PM

@BD you made me laugh out loud with that!!
@Ty You always know what to say to warm my heart sweetie.

Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 12/29/13 at 07:00 PM

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